TTC - First time home insemination

[libbyidk]

First time posting so bare with me.

We are in a same sex relationship, and I just thought i'd share our story so far to see if anyone else is going through the same or has any advice/tips for myself and my partner.

We first went to a private clinic, and payed hundreds for scans, blood tests, screening etc, only to be told my partner couldn't donate her eggs (we were counting on this as it lowers the price by about 3-4000 pounds!), we were then told we should try IUI at the clinic which would cost us about 2-3000 pounds. We went home after this appointment and had a chat, we decided to try home insemination first, and if it doesn't work after 2 times, we will then go back to the clinic, but I wasn't finding them very helpful, and they were quite rude to us!

We searched online for sperm banks and came across cryos in denmark. We researched all the legal complications and know all about it, and decided as so many people do try this, we were going to as well. We ordered our anonymous washed donor sperm (MOT20) 2 vials (all we could afford.)

It arrived on tuesday (it lasts for 7 days in a nitro tank), and I started using the clear blue dual hormone predictor kit. I also use a fertility app and have been vaguely monitoring my cervical mucas. I tested negative from monday (the start of my fertility window) until yesterday (friday) i went straight from negative to peak on the clear blue monitor! I researched this to make sure it was right and I saw that a lot of people go straight from low to peak, especially if they missed their surge (which i may have done). The app also said I was due to have peak fertility friday and saturday, so i'm confident in the test and we decided to inseminate one vial on friday at 6pm (8 hours after my positive result) and we inseminated again on sunday at 6am. Just before I had the insemination, I was getting pretty bad cramps and I think ovulation may have started, although i'm not 100%. I got some cramp after inseminating too.

Frozen sperm lives in the body for 12-24 hours (apparantly) but some swimmers can last longer. So we inseminated at 6pm which will cover me (hopefully) until 6pm saturday, whilst also inseminating at 6am saturday which would cover me until 6am (hopefully) sunday. We sat and talked constantly about the timing but we just decided to go for it, as like everybody says, even if the timing is perfectly right and your CM is perfect, there is still only a 10-20% chance of conception.

I'm just praying my clearblue test was correct and my peak is friday and saturday like it shows. (My app also shows this like i said). I have a 29 day cycle and it's hardly EVER irregular, so I think we've done all what we should have.

Now we're onto our two week wait which i'm not looking forward to! Like I keep saying to myself, it is our first time trying and we could have done a number of things wrong. It is just trial and error from here on out! If anyone else wants to share their story about home insemination with frozen sperm, using clearblue monitors / success stories, i would really appreciate that!

Thanks @LanieM87 I know you're right I think it's just easier to believe that I haven't a chance this month than to build myself up just to be disappointed again. I did have 2 donations on the Saturday and Sunday so 1 & 2 days before my positive ovulation test. I've read many things (like on the Ava bracelet website) that say if you wait until your positive opk you may have already missed your window depending on how long after your positive you actually ovulate so I know that you're right. I also know that there are many other reasons other than not having inseminated on the day of my positive opk why I may not have been successful in previous months, diet, drinking fizzy drinks (even zero sugar ones), caffeine intake, fast food consumption, too much sugar, eating white bread and rice. I have changed all of this so logically my odds are better this month even though I didn't have a donation on the day of my positive opk. I have zero symptoms and logically I KNOW it's too early for that and other months I've had, what I thought were, symptoms but I wasn't pregnant but you read so many posts from women who say they had symptoms from day 1 and they 'just knew' and then I think well I can't be. Anyway it will be what it will be I'm not going to spend the next week or so stressing about it (she says!!).

Good luck for today x

@Waiting2BAMummy - how are you doing? I've been feeling a bit bleurgh this weekend but I doubt it's significant. Just got to get through another week before finding out.

DP had been away for the weekend, and one of the first things he asked me was 'When will you find out?". He has promised not to tell anyone if I am until I'm happy for him to, which is a new thing. He'd obviously been thinking about it whilst he was away.

I honestly don't feel anything @TimeIhadaNameChange no symptoms at all.

Hopefully you're feeling icky is for good reason. I would happily feel like crap for a BFP!!

When are you testing? I'm due my period next Wednesday and I'm waiting until after that as I'm so convinced I'm not.

I'm due next Monday, so I'll try and hold off til then. Have started temping again (the battery ran out so I lost a week) and it's going up nicely, but who knows what it will do tomorrow. I'm probably better off not temping tbh since it just drives me up the wall. At least a dip in temp means I can mentally prepare for AF though before she arrives.

Fingers crossed for you @TimeIhadaNameChange

I don't temp partly because it's another thing for me to obcess about and partly because I don't sleep well and never go to bed/get up at the same time so the results would like be invalid.

*likely

@Waiting2BAMummy - I'm with you on the temping, though, in a way I wish I'd started it years ago (long before ttc) so I had past data to look back on. I don't often get the required amount of sleep but usually there is a pattern regardless (conveniently forgetting the trouble I had with it last month!). It is interesting, though not that accurate for me. If I could afford one of the thermometers you wear all the time I would, but just for interest sake.

My fingers are crossed for both of us. Let this month be our month!!!

@TimeIhadaNameChange yes I wish I had done that too, would be much easier if you knew what your normal was.

I have my fingers crossed for both of us too. It has to be our turn soon.

The only thing I have noticed is that the last couple of days I've been hungry. I don't usually eat breakfast and lunch during the week and I'm not usually hungry but today I just had to buy something as my stomach was hurting because I was so hungry.

@Waiting2BAMummy - don't mention food! I low-carbed for about two years. Stopped just before Christmas but am generally still fairly good about it, and could quite easily ignore treats in the house for ages (I had two Easter Eggs sat in my eyeline for over a year!). From Thursday night I've eaten the majority of 2 packs of Pringles (DP ate a few from the first and declared he didn't like them so I finished them), 6 slices of bread and whatever, 2 English muffins, about 250g of chocolate and I dread to think what else. It's not pregnancy-related, I was on my own and couldn't be bothered to cook so just attacked what was nearby, but honestly, I'll look 9 months' gone in a week if I keep this up! And actually, re-reading what you wrote I realised I had breakfast both Saturday and Sunday, and I never ever eat before midday!

I'm really tempted to buy a basal thermometer for my goddaughter and telling her to get started! I think she (and her parents) would have a fit though. I might suggest it to her when I next see her though.

Wow @TimeIhadaNameChange I bought a berry fruit salad wishing it was a large bag of walkers cheese and onion crisps! You did really well low carbing for 2 years.

I've cut out chocolate, cake, fizzy drinks, fast food and really can't break it in case I'm not pregnant. If I'm not though I'm already planning my cheat weekend!

@Waiting2BAMummy - the stupid thing is that I feel much better low carbing, so I really don't know what the weekend was in aid of! Saying that, I spent 1.5 days on the sofa reading and sleeping, so I suspect the feating was connected to that. But I've already eaten my evening snack of two Babybel and can't get hold of anything else before I'm home at 9 or so, so I'll be chewing my arm off by then!

Bless you @TimeIhadaNameChange - if you were closer I'd deliver you a food parcel!

Sounds like you’ve made a lot of really positive changes! @Waiting2BAMummy I could do with following your lead, I know my diet is not perfect and I should be eating a lot healthier!
I really honestly don’t think you can “just know” from one or two DPO, I think women just want it that badly that they add 2 & 2 together and make 5.

Yesterday went as well as could be expected! Very odd situation and certainly the most random way to spend a Sunday afternoon. But hey ho! I got my positive which is a plus. I tend to have very short LH surges. I’m not sure my technique was perfect though! It was a little bit messier then I had anticipated, think I was bit to quick! Lesson learnt for next time though!

Don't worry, @Waiting2BAMummy, I found some very yummy shortbread in the staff kitchen! (Leftovers from a meeting, free for all!)

Thanks @LanieM87 - I figured if I really want this then a few months of not having those things (that I don't really need anyway) are worth the effort. Being a parent is sometimes about making sacrifices for the happiness/ wellbeing of your child so I may as well start now. I also figured I can't complain it isn't happening if I'm not doing anything to increase my chances. I'm glad yesterday went okay - hopefully you won't need to learn a lesson for next time 🤞

@TimeIhadaNameChange - what a result - that's it Jammie Dodgers are on the list for my pig out weekend! Not sure if I want to be pregnant or not now I'm looking forward to that weekend!! 😂 Joking obviously!!

@Waiting2BAMummy - How are you getting on?

Had some usual cramping other than that absolutely nothing. How about you @TimeIhadaNameChange

Slight cramping, and lots of feeling really full after meals, despite not having eaten as much as would usually induce such a feeling. It's very strange. Doubtless AF will make an appearance next Monday though. :-(

Good luck with the move and everything @Freezerbump

Hopefully not @TimeIhadaNameChange but I feel exactly the same. I'm convinced I'll be getting AF next Wednesday.

I have even found a new donor, that's how convinced I am!

@Waiting2BAMummy - I really hope you don't need a new donor.

If this doesn't work I don't know what we'll do. Nothing for a few months, I need to finish my PhD and start exercising again - I keep not running just in case and between that, stress and eating far too much I'm piling on the weight! But with Cryos out the picture now I'll have to start looking for a live donor, and there aren't many around these parts.

Where abouts are you @TimeIhadaNameChange? I'll have a look at roughly how many donors there are in your area on the site I use if you want?

I hope that neither of us need a new donor after this month x

@Waiting2BAMummy -I'm on the Isle of Skye. If you can find anyone nearby I'll be VERY impressed!

@TimeIhadaNameChange are you aware that you live in the middle of nowhere?!

Seriously though would that be classified as the highlands? Excuse my ignorance I've never been to Scotland.

Hi ladies! Move tomorrow and final Cryos delivery en route to my mums.... now that was a weird conversation but she's quite pragmatic about it all thankfully!
Ovulation due day after surgery on Monday so it's all a bit frantic!
@TimeIhadaNameChange fancy a trip over to Denmark if all else fails?! Xxx
Much love to all less bonkers people than me :)