TTC - First time home insemination

[libbyidk]

First time posting so bare with me.

We are in a same sex relationship, and I just thought i'd share our story so far to see if anyone else is going through the same or has any advice/tips for myself and my partner.

We first went to a private clinic, and payed hundreds for scans, blood tests, screening etc, only to be told my partner couldn't donate her eggs (we were counting on this as it lowers the price by about 3-4000 pounds!), we were then told we should try IUI at the clinic which would cost us about 2-3000 pounds. We went home after this appointment and had a chat, we decided to try home insemination first, and if it doesn't work after 2 times, we will then go back to the clinic, but I wasn't finding them very helpful, and they were quite rude to us!

We searched online for sperm banks and came across cryos in denmark. We researched all the legal complications and know all about it, and decided as so many people do try this, we were going to as well. We ordered our anonymous washed donor sperm (MOT20) 2 vials (all we could afford.)

It arrived on tuesday (it lasts for 7 days in a nitro tank), and I started using the clear blue dual hormone predictor kit. I also use a fertility app and have been vaguely monitoring my cervical mucas. I tested negative from monday (the start of my fertility window) until yesterday (friday) i went straight from negative to peak on the clear blue monitor! I researched this to make sure it was right and I saw that a lot of people go straight from low to peak, especially if they missed their surge (which i may have done). The app also said I was due to have peak fertility friday and saturday, so i'm confident in the test and we decided to inseminate one vial on friday at 6pm (8 hours after my positive result) and we inseminated again on sunday at 6am. Just before I had the insemination, I was getting pretty bad cramps and I think ovulation may have started, although i'm not 100%. I got some cramp after inseminating too.

Frozen sperm lives in the body for 12-24 hours (apparantly) but some swimmers can last longer. So we inseminated at 6pm which will cover me (hopefully) until 6pm saturday, whilst also inseminating at 6am saturday which would cover me until 6am (hopefully) sunday. We sat and talked constantly about the timing but we just decided to go for it, as like everybody says, even if the timing is perfectly right and your CM is perfect, there is still only a 10-20% chance of conception.

I'm just praying my clearblue test was correct and my peak is friday and saturday like it shows. (My app also shows this like i said). I have a 29 day cycle and it's hardly EVER irregular, so I think we've done all what we should have.

Now we're onto our two week wait which i'm not looking forward to! Like I keep saying to myself, it is our first time trying and we could have done a number of things wrong. It is just trial and error from here on out! If anyone else wants to share their story about home insemination with frozen sperm, using clearblue monitors / success stories, i would really appreciate that!

Waiting2BAMummy - did you ever get a static smiley? I did ask DP about the blood and he couldn't really explain, just kept saying how it's not uncommon. So who knows?! How are you feeling to be in the dreading 2WW again?

LouMill - glad I made you laugh! Don't worry, I was laughing myself at the time, much to DP's annoyance! (He had to reinsert the speculum I was laughing so much!!!!!!) He reckons the last squidge was a good one, though won't elaborate on his reasons for thinking this. I haven't liked to point out the fact that a lot of it depends on timing, and not on the accuracy of the squidge!

How did the tests go? Hope it all works out for you. I'm sure there can't be too high a risk to the child else they wouldn't do it. And it is the best way of conceiving with your DP so definitely worth a shot. Plus you get experts involved, which has to be a bonus!

Lmas3108 - enjoy your holiday! Have you looked at clinics abroad? They can be much cheaper (though you then have to pay for flights etc).

Let's hope one (if not more) of us get a BFP soon!!!!

@TimeIhadaNameChange, thank you we are having a brilliant time so far.
No we haven't even thought of going abroad for treatment, I've heard it can be cheaper but how would it work as we couldn't just up and leave the UK for next day to go to the clinic?
😊

Work is a big worry for me too, don't want have to explain to my manager where I'm going, obviously I'd request unpaid time off or even book annual leave but for some appointments that are only a hour/two long I may want to ask him for the time off instead, without an explanation I'm guessing this would be tricky 🙄

I got my static smiley on Monday as predicted @TimeIhadaNameChange it's so strange that my positives are exactly 28 days apart and have been for the last 5 cycles but yet my cycle length varies. I honestly don't feel anything, but really I'm so convinced I've missed out because I didn't inseminate on the day of my static smiley face that I'm not really even thinking about it. How about you? How are you feeling?

Lmas3108 have a great holiday.

LouMill hope your scans etc went well.

@Waiting2BAMummy - have you checked the time between positive OPK and your period? Apparently that should remain constant and it's the follicular phase that's more likely to vary.

And you're not out of the woods yet, esp since you're using live sperm. They can live for 5 days in utero whilst you only have a 24 hour window with the egg, so your timing was perfect from that regard.

I am feeling fine. The weekend was a washout, although I didn't actually walk that far on Saturday I was not planning on walking any distance at all so really didn't have on the proper trainers, and as such was shattered and sore by the time I got home. Totally wiped out on Sunday, and only just now recovered.

Not looking forward to getting a BFN - DP is so impressed with his efforts this time. But hopefully fertilisation has happened and implantation will occur this weekend (I can but hope!).

Good luck @Waiting2BAMummy and @TimeIhadaNameChange I’m keeping everything crossed that you get your BFP this month!
I’ve got my first insem arranged for Sunday. Fingers crossed my timings are right!

Thanks, LanieM87! Are you temping or OPKing (or both)?

@H2OH20Everywhere both!! Although I still can’t make head nor tail of my charts! I just trust what natural cycles tells me!

@TimeIhadaNameChange no I haven't but that would be interesting. I got my positive on CD 13 last month and had a 28 day cycle. My positive was day 13 again this month so it should be a 28 day cycle. I think I actually ovulated on Monday (the same day as my positive OPK) so I could be in with a chance I guess but I think because I haven't been successful yet and I haven't actually managed to inseminate on the day of my positive OPK which leads me to believe that is the issue.

I'm glad you've recovered from the weekend. Fingers crossed that you have fertilised the egg and will be implanting this weekend. One of us HAS to get a BFP soon!

Sounds like you got your timings perfectly and your DP has saved the little swimmers some effort in swimming through the cervix so you have a good chance. I've watched a few youtube videos of women who have conceived with frozen sample's so it does work!

I'm getting impatient now and am starting to feel like it's never going to happen but I have had a couple of men on the donor site offer their help and they aren't too far from me so if it doesn't work this month I do have other options and next month I absolutely have to inseminate on the day of my positive OPK.

I'm obviously hoping I'll be proven wrong but I really don't hold out any hope for this month.

Thank you @LanieM87. Good Luck for Sunday, let us know how you get on.

Hi guys been reading through the whole thread over the past few days, alot of content to get through🙈 lol.
So basically my hubby is older than me and had a vasectomy so we were looking at doing ivf but they said we had to do icsi. So we are looking at doing home insemination never done anything like this before. I've been reading up on some much research etc and I've been keeping a diary of my OPK and my Bbt but I don't seem to have an increase in temperature at all after my positive OPK. Do you think this is something I should be worried about.
I'm 27 and have had tests and they had all come back fine I'm fit and healthy womb and fertility wise. I'm just so aware of the window of oppertunity and worried that this BBT could be a downfall for me.

Sorry to but in on your guys stories was just looking for some advice or ideas really.

Hi all,

@Lmas3108 glad you are enjoying a break! It’s so nice to be able to get away from everything for a little while.

@TimeIhadaNameChange Sounds like that final squidge will be the one that did the trick lol! Good luck on your 2ww.

@Waiting2BAMummy hope you don’t drive yourself crazy on your 2ww. At least all those little swimmers will have been there waiting for ovulation which is great.

Well I managed to go for bloods and scans yesterday. Sadly I got a massive shock as diagnosed during the scan with PCOS. It wasn’t long ago that I had a scan and this wasn’t mentioned at all, so must have developed pretty quickly. This will probably have ruled out home insemination, given the already tricky circumstance I think it would just be too difficult! But I will wait to speak to consultant in 4-6 weeks and see what our options are. X

@LanieM87 good luck with your insemination on Sunday! Fingers crossed.

@Kels91 Welcome aboard, I’ve jumped on fairly recently too! I have not temped myself so I don’t have much advice, I’m sure someone else will be able to give you some pointers! X

So sorry to hear that, LouMill. That must have been a shock! Might you be able to get fertility treatment on the NHS? If you are that could be a silver lining, possibly...?

Welcome, Kels91. Are you managing to temp after a decent amount of sleep at night, and at the same time each day? I know not doing so can affect the readings. I've had a couple of scares with the bbt records - last month my app told me I'd definitely ovulated on the Tuesday, not the Saturday as I was expecting (and as confirmed by the OPKs) until my period came when it did, at which point the app put my ovulaton back to the Saturday. But I always get woken by the cat at some point early morning, so rarely get the required amount of sleep for it to be overly accurate. It might be worth joining the FB group BBT Charting Assistance and asking for their advice.

@timeihadanamechange Yea I get a good 6-8hrs every night I don't wake through the night for anything I'm a real heavy sleeper. Maybe it's just a normal for me but was hoping it was going to help with choosing good times to inseminate. I only got the OPK line for 12-18hrs then it was negative again

@Kels91 I’ve been temping for a while. I mostly can’t make head nor tail of it truthfully. But I do always have a drop and then a rise around ovulation. Sometimes it’s not massive but it is there and when you look back over the months you can see it very clearly.
Are you noting any temperature changes around ovulation??

@LouMill thanks for the good wishes!
Really sorry to hear you’ve had some bad news. It must have been quite the shock for you, hopefully you can get some options when you see the consultant, will keep everything crossed for you!

I've been temping every day and it is always 36.5 or 36.6 c I've read it should change between 0.5 and 1c this hasn't happened at all for me.

Thanks @LouMill sorry to hear your news. PCOS doesn't necessarily mean home insemination wouldn't work I have read many posts from women who have conceived naturally but you might get there faster having more invasive treatment like IVF.

As @TimeIhadaNameChange said this new diagnoses may make you eligible for fertility treatment on the NHS, it's definitely worth asking.

How are you feeling @TimeIhadaNameChange?

@Kels91 are you temping to two decimal points??

Good Luck tomorrow @LanieM87

Thank you so much @Waiting2BAMummy getting quite nervous about it! I’m expecting my static smiley tomorrow as well. I thought I’d totally cocked my dates up but fingers crossed!!
How are you feeling??

No symptoms at all @LanieM87 but I really think that's because I've convinced myself it's not going to have worked as I didn't inseminate on the day of my positive ovulation test. I know there is still a chance but this was my 5th month of trying and obviously no luck as yet and I haven't once managed to do it on the same day as my positive so I really feel that's the issue. We'll see but I'm not holding out much hope.

Hope you get your positive tomorrow- I remember how nervous I was the first time just remember it will be over so quickly and it's a means to an end. Good luck x

@Waiting2BAMummy you were still within your fertile window so you’re going to have a good shot at it! Just try and think that if you were doing this the “natural” way 5 months would be totally average. How long are you waiting before testing??

@LanieM87 I know 5 months isn't that long and I also know that, based on when I now get my positive ovulation test, I was inseminating at completely the wrong time for my first 2 cycles but I was using cheap ovulation tests and found them so difficult to read. It's not the amount of time I've been trying that makes me think I'm out but the fact that, yet again, I didn't inseminate on the exact day of my positive ovulation test. I know people can get pregnant by dtd/inseminating several days before ovulation but it's far less likely. I'm not planning to test until after my period is due (26th) because I'm so convinced that I'm out.

@Waiting2BAMummy the cheap tests can be really difficult to read sometimes! I do find the clear blue much better!
Hopefully you’ve done exactly what you need to this time round, didn’t you get a couple of donations this time round as well?
I’ll still keep everything crossed for you! Like someone said earlier - it’s got to happen eventually for us!!