TTC - First time home insemination

[libbyidk]

First time posting so bare with me.

We are in a same sex relationship, and I just thought i'd share our story so far to see if anyone else is going through the same or has any advice/tips for myself and my partner.

We first went to a private clinic, and payed hundreds for scans, blood tests, screening etc, only to be told my partner couldn't donate her eggs (we were counting on this as it lowers the price by about 3-4000 pounds!), we were then told we should try IUI at the clinic which would cost us about 2-3000 pounds. We went home after this appointment and had a chat, we decided to try home insemination first, and if it doesn't work after 2 times, we will then go back to the clinic, but I wasn't finding them very helpful, and they were quite rude to us!

We searched online for sperm banks and came across cryos in denmark. We researched all the legal complications and know all about it, and decided as so many people do try this, we were going to as well. We ordered our anonymous washed donor sperm (MOT20) 2 vials (all we could afford.)

It arrived on tuesday (it lasts for 7 days in a nitro tank), and I started using the clear blue dual hormone predictor kit. I also use a fertility app and have been vaguely monitoring my cervical mucas. I tested negative from monday (the start of my fertility window) until yesterday (friday) i went straight from negative to peak on the clear blue monitor! I researched this to make sure it was right and I saw that a lot of people go straight from low to peak, especially if they missed their surge (which i may have done). The app also said I was due to have peak fertility friday and saturday, so i'm confident in the test and we decided to inseminate one vial on friday at 6pm (8 hours after my positive result) and we inseminated again on sunday at 6am. Just before I had the insemination, I was getting pretty bad cramps and I think ovulation may have started, although i'm not 100%. I got some cramp after inseminating too.

Frozen sperm lives in the body for 12-24 hours (apparantly) but some swimmers can last longer. So we inseminated at 6pm which will cover me (hopefully) until 6pm saturday, whilst also inseminating at 6am saturday which would cover me until 6am (hopefully) sunday. We sat and talked constantly about the timing but we just decided to go for it, as like everybody says, even if the timing is perfectly right and your CM is perfect, there is still only a 10-20% chance of conception.

I'm just praying my clearblue test was correct and my peak is friday and saturday like it shows. (My app also shows this like i said). I have a 29 day cycle and it's hardly EVER irregular, so I think we've done all what we should have.

Now we're onto our two week wait which i'm not looking forward to! Like I keep saying to myself, it is our first time trying and we could have done a number of things wrong. It is just trial and error from here on out! If anyone else wants to share their story about home insemination with frozen sperm, using clearblue monitors / success stories, i would really appreciate that!

@TimeIhadaNameChange

How are you today, any news for us?

@Freezerbump welcome back, I took a brief spell away from all TTC stuff during my Af as i couldn't fathom getting pregnant with how much pain I was in.

Still feel a little shell shocked TBH, it was horrendous. This time next week I will hopefully be ovulating 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼

Good luck with the house stuff, it's all a bit stressful.

welcome back @Freezerbump bless you not having any communication for a week I watched as my mobile bounced down the stairs yesterday only to pick it up to find a completely smashed screen. I couldn't get it repaired until today but still had my laptop and I felt like my right arm had been chopped off.

I think making the decision to take a break this month makes sense they stress affects fertility and you will have enough going on sorting out the move without trying ttc also.

Fingers crossed for you next week @Dosmamas for a healthy sperm receptive egg!

....patiently waits for @TimeIhadaNameChange to test tomorrow....okay who am I kidding....I'm not patient have you tested yet??....

@Waiting2BAMummy Thankyou! You must have the patience of a saint waiting for it to be your turn

not really @Dosmamas trust me I've had my wobbly moments but there isn't a lot of choice is there I missed my window so I just have to wait. I ordered my ovulation tests yesterday am going to order some softcups. I've used a stork for the last 3 times and I do have 1 but I'm planning on 3/4 inseminations this time and the cheapest I have been able to find them for is £45 and I would need another 3. You can get a pack of £14 softcups for £20. I've booked the week I expect to be ovulating off of work and as soon as af arrives and I will be booking 2/3 nights in a hotel and will organise my car hire. I'm putting everything into this month so fingers crossed.

No news today, sorry! I was going to say I didn't test but I did, with one of the cheap sticks. Still a Big Fat Nada! I'm getting less hopeful, even though I'm still only 11dpo and there's still time. Am using my fancy shmanzy digital test in the morning. Will let you all know how I get on.

@TimeIhadaNameChange I wouldn't use the digital until you are past your AF due date. It's just that often those digital ones aren't sensitive enough at this stage, same with the cheap sticks. They are both supposed to be used 1 day after a missed period. So your levels might be too low yet to be detected and it'll feel rubbish 😔 any chance you could get a FRER and then check after your period is missed with the digital test?

@Waiting2BAMummy you really are putting everything into it. You have covered everything.

It's a negative from me. Not unexpected, but a +ve would have been so nice today. Hey ho, it's not over til the red lady sings!

Bless you sorry to hear that @TimeIhadaNameChange as @Dosmamas said the digital tests aren't really sensitive enough until a day after missed af.

@Dosmamas @Freezerbump @bithebi @TimeIhadaNameChange looking forward to wishing all you ladies a very happy first Mother's Day this time next year but for now I'll wish you all a happy future Mother's Day!

Thank you waiting to be a mummy and the same to you and all.

In other news I’m currently in the middle of a mystery. A lass moved into the house next door a few months ago and was joined by a young lad last week. As far as we know they’re not a couple just house sharing. Yesterday morning the lad's manager came round as he was late for work, and got no reply. A few hours later the centre manager came looking for him and then his father. None got a reply. This morning the centre manager appeared followed by the line manager. By this point I’d got fed up trying to pretend I was not interested (there's only a certain number of times you can go to the shed all innocent) so I admitted my nosiness to the LM! Still no sign of life whatsoever, and the lad's bike's at the back which apparently means he's in. I'm wondering when we should start worrying!

As for me I put up my swing chair yesterday and am now sat outside listening to the birds in the trees and on the feeder, being thrown evils by my rabbits (have cleaned their shed and shut them out. They're not impressed!) I've finally reached the end of the washing pile (well, I would have if the cat hadn.t thrown up on some clothes!) and might do more than look at the hoover later.

Hope you're all having a lovely day. xxx

@TimeIhadaNameChange Well I would be worrying now but if I were his father I would have been kicking the door in. Why have his employers not called the police? They have a duty of care. As for the parents unless this is normal behaviour for him why are they not beating down his door??

My colleagues found it hilarious the other day that I clean my vacuum cleaner with wipes. Please tell me I'm not the only person who does this??

I suspect the consensus is that he's gone off somewhere and not bothered to tell anyone. It's apparently not unlike him to be late for work having got drunk the night before, so I suspect that’s the reason why there’s been no door kicking yet. I’m sure there is a very Innocent explanation.

Please don't tell me I’m supposed to clean the Hoover. It’s bad enough having to use the blinking thing!

No @TimeIhadaNameChange you definitely don't have to just like you don't HAVE to clean the cleaning product bottles before you put them back in the cupboard. I think I'm just slightly unhinged!! I'm sure it's not normal to clean your cleaning products?! 🙈

I spend too much time cleaning with the darn things to spend more time cleaning them! But so long as it makes you happy!

How's your day been?

@TimeIhadaNameChange It's been okay thank you. How about you? How are you feeling after your negative test this morning?

I'm ok, Waiting2BAMummy (sorry, the dictation thing really didn't like your name yesterday, and I forgot to go back and correct it - whoops!). AF still hasn't appeared, so I've not lost all hope, but no doubt it'll rear it's ugly head come Wednesday.

DP reacted in his usual Asperger's way, didn't reaply to my text for ages, then, when he did, just asked if we could afford to do it again! No 'I'm sorry' or anything. But I'd have fainted if he'd reacted any differently!

Had a lovely evening watching the Crimes of Grindlewald. Was shattered by ten (which would have been 9 the day before) and went straight to bed. And there was I worried I'd still be up at near midnight and not get much sleep. But I got loads, and am still shattered today.

Hope everyone has a good week. When are you all's trying again?

Oh Time, your symptoms still sound good. Keeping fingers crossed for you still.

I'm slightly MIA as I'm not trying this month. I've not read the thread since Tuesday and was wondering how you were all getting on.

Still no start date but I called this morning and they said I've done all I have to do and they're waiting for others.

Bless you @TimeIhadaNameChange I'm sure he is more bothered than his text suggested. Even though you now the response you're going to get there is always that part of you that hopes for something more and it's upsetting to be proved right. I've read lots of stories from people who didn't get their BFP until well after their af was due so you're definitely now out yet.

My cycle is exactly the same as yours (but I didn't get to try last month) should have been due af on Wednesday but she has arrived today - never been so happy to see her.

My cycles have always been 28-31 days but since ttc I've had a 25 and now this one was 26. It's funny though both my short cycles have been when I haven't been able to try. Is it possible to bring your next cycle on because you just want to move onto the next month?

hopefully it shouldn't be too long now @bithebi kind of frustrating though when you're just waiting around for other people to do what they need to do.

I'm rather enjoying having time off without having to look for a job. However I had a text from my bank to say I'd exceeded my overdraft limit. I transferred my universal credit amount to cover it and have virtually no money for the rest of the month! So I need to start ASAP for that and to get my SMP clock ticking.

It's all about Time isn't really.

I'm distracting myself by watching the indicative votes debate.

@TimeIhadaNameChange your not out yet, personally I think it's worse being late with BFN's than the whole of the TWW. I would rather AF come early than late with nothing to show for it. I am hoping you have one of those slow HCG build up and you'll get your BFP four days late. 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼.

@Waiting2BAMummy I'm so bored waiting to try, I almost decided not to try because the anxiety of BFN's was too much next cycle. I have really had the wind knocked out of me confidence wise. Still reeling from the hell of my last period TBH. I have zero positive feelings about this whole thing now. New donor this weekend. I am not looking forward to it at all but it needs to be done. No point moaning about no baby and then refusing to try. I can't wait for you to be on your TWW! you have waited so long poor thing.

@bitheby oh god, your situation is horrid. The exact same thing happened last year when I waited to start with my trust. Raiding the couch and car for spare change to buy a pint of milk, survived off beans and Toast for 3 months, no wonder we didn't get pregnant 😂.

@bitheby do you live in the NW? My partner is waiting to start her band 6 job in a Lancashire Care hospital, they are ridiculously unorganised and slow. Run by kids by the sounds of it, no communication, lazy.

I'm in Wales. I called them and it sounds like all is on track. They might've got the wrong DBS done but otherwise sounds like they're working effectively on it.

Bless you @Dosmamas I know what you mean about the lack of confidence in this ever working. I'm sure we've all been there (except those annoyingly lucky ladies for whom it works first time) TTC is stressful at the best of times but even more so when you don't have easy access to 'the goods' and have to rely on someone else being available when you need them. Keep the faith this does work and it will work for you too. It's easy to get disheartened and feel like you're never going to see those two lines or the word pregnant' on a digital test but if every woman stopped trying when she felt like that half of the worlds children wouldn't exist. You've got this.

@bithebi bless you hopefully you'll have a start date soon sounds like they are moving everything along. Waiting is stressful for you for many reasons so I hope you get started as soon as possible.

Morning, everyone!

You can stop pinning your hopes on me, I got my period this morning.

DP is very keen to try again, although I've pointed out that funds are low. But I probably will. And then I think he's going to scout around for a local live donor. Doubt he'll be successful, but it gives him something to do!

bitheby - there must have been something in the air yesterday! I also had bank problems, caused partly by forgetfulness followed by panic, partly by stupidity and partly by timing. Ended up with my cc blocked and, like you, threatening to go over my overdraft. I panicked again, got in touch with DP who I didn't think could actually help from where he was, so ran down to a friend on the floor below for a loan of £55 for 12 hours. In the meantime DP figured out how to do online banking from his phone so sent me what he would have anyway, and saved me from even touching my overdraft. Thank goodness!

Mad that all I needed was so little money for, as it would actually have been, about 4 hours. That was not a fun start to the week!

Hope you're all doing well.