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Donor conception

For anyone with experience of sperm or egg donation to share support and advice. Please remember this board isn’t for debate about donor conception.

TTC - First time home insemination

999 replies

libbyidk · 27/08/2017 14:53

First time posting so bare with me.

We are in a same sex relationship, and I just thought i'd share our story so far to see if anyone else is going through the same or has any advice/tips for myself and my partner.

We first went to a private clinic, and payed hundreds for scans, blood tests, screening etc, only to be told my partner couldn't donate her eggs (we were counting on this as it lowers the price by about 3-4000 pounds!), we were then told we should try IUI at the clinic which would cost us about 2-3000 pounds. We went home after this appointment and had a chat, we decided to try home insemination first, and if it doesn't work after 2 times, we will then go back to the clinic, but I wasn't finding them very helpful, and they were quite rude to us!

We searched online for sperm banks and came across cryos in denmark. We researched all the legal complications and know all about it, and decided as so many people do try this, we were going to as well. We ordered our anonymous washed donor sperm (MOT20) 2 vials (all we could afford.)

It arrived on tuesday (it lasts for 7 days in a nitro tank), and I started using the clear blue dual hormone predictor kit. I also use a fertility app and have been vaguely monitoring my cervical mucas. I tested negative from monday (the start of my fertility window) until yesterday (friday) i went straight from negative to peak on the clear blue monitor! I researched this to make sure it was right and I saw that a lot of people go straight from low to peak, especially if they missed their surge (which i may have done). The app also said I was due to have peak fertility friday and saturday, so i'm confident in the test and we decided to inseminate one vial on friday at 6pm (8 hours after my positive result) and we inseminated again on sunday at 6am. Just before I had the insemination, I was getting pretty bad cramps and I think ovulation may have started, although i'm not 100%. I got some cramp after inseminating too.

Frozen sperm lives in the body for 12-24 hours (apparantly) but some swimmers can last longer. So we inseminated at 6pm which will cover me (hopefully) until 6pm saturday, whilst also inseminating at 6am saturday which would cover me until 6am (hopefully) sunday. We sat and talked constantly about the timing but we just decided to go for it, as like everybody says, even if the timing is perfectly right and your CM is perfect, there is still only a 10-20% chance of conception.

I'm just praying my clearblue test was correct and my peak is friday and saturday like it shows. (My app also shows this like i said). I have a 29 day cycle and it's hardly EVER irregular, so I think we've done all what we should have.

Now we're onto our two week wait which i'm not looking forward to! Like I keep saying to myself, it is our first time trying and we could have done a number of things wrong. It is just trial and error from here on out! If anyone else wants to share their story about home insemination with frozen sperm, using clearblue monitors / success stories, i would really appreciate that!

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Freezerbump · 19/03/2019 21:23

Right that's me off to bed ladies complete with another hot flush and nearly vommed clearing a litter tray out just now...

If af turns up this is going to be a hum dinger I reckon!

Resisting temptation to order a wad of tests from amazon....

bitheby · 19/03/2019 21:24

My donor recommended putting the sterile pot on a hot water bottle - not boiling - to keep the sample warm.

I inseminated as soon as I could because I was panicking about the temperature so I didn't really pay much attention to the liquefying thing.

My (kind of) partner has had a vasectomy. Anyone know if I could practice with his ejaculate to look for changes? Obviously it has no sperm in it (or I wouldn't be in this situation).

bitheby · 19/03/2019 21:29

I might text him to ask him how long it takes to liquefy Envy < not envy.

I feel lucky I'm bisexual. I would imagine this whole process is so much harder if you're a lesbian, having to faff about with a stranger's sperm. Wasn't much fun for me either mind.

bitheby · 19/03/2019 21:32

Still got everything crossed for you Freezer. You're still in with a shot. Living vicariously through you right now.

Freezerbump · 20/03/2019 07:25

Morning girls...... soooo @Dosmamas I need a favour, can you pee on an opk and see if you get a result... I appear to have a sort of pos opk this morning.. thought I'd pee on one for shits and giggles..

bitheby · 20/03/2019 07:28

Apparently you can get positive OPKs if you're pregnant as the stick doesn't distinguish between the two hormones. Do you have any pregnancy tests to test properly?

Freezerbump · 20/03/2019 08:04

@bitheby morning lovely, nope, curiosity got the better of me with fmu this morning!

Might pop to boots at some point today...

Waiting2BAMummy · 20/03/2019 08:15

Ohhhh @Freezerbump I'm so excited. Can you go to boots already?!

Have everything crossed for you!

x

TimeIhadaNameChange · 20/03/2019 09:44

Thanks, everyone.

Well, this is me officially starting the 2WW. Bloody amazing, never thought it would happen. Yes, I'm obsessively symptom tracking already. My boobs were really sore last night. Am convinced it was the Pregnacare. Haven't taken them since and have sent DP out for the Seven Seas ones, which is what I was on at first. Dosmamas - interesting that you say that about Pregnacare, as there are quite a lot of people saying the same thing online. Wish I'd read the reviews first.

I always get really frisky the night before AF arrives. It's one way of knowing when I'll be on, that's for sure!

DP reckons I shouldn't give up if this doesn't work. He's already thinking about who could be asked to donate. Am highly bemused by his reaction to all this! I got a long lecture about women's hormones last night. Can't remember if it was before or after DTD, but I'm not sure it made for the most erotic of environments!

Freezerbump - I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you!

bitheby · 20/03/2019 10:11

So hoping for a good result for all of you.

I found my donor through an app called Just a Baby. It's for people looking for donor eggs, donor sperm and surrogates.

I never thought I'd go down that route, preferring the legal watertightness of a clinic but financial circumstances dictated.

If you already are married then that avoids any complications of parental rights as both of you can go on the birth certificate. I'll just have to leave mine blank.

Freezerbump · 20/03/2019 12:57

Right, picked up a first response.. if no af by morning I'll be poas... again...
🙄

TimeIhadaNameChange · 20/03/2019 14:46

I hope you get a positive, Freezerbump!

Not sure how I'll get through the next two weeks. My body is definitely playing games with me. I work over lunch and rarely go to the loo during the two hours I'm there. Today I went during, was bursting again at the two hour mark and have been again since. This is not normal. I also don't believe it's linked to what I've been doing for the last few days either, so it is definitely just my body keeping me on my toes.

Freezerbump · 20/03/2019 17:23

@bitheby I had a look at "live donor" site a few years back... unfortunately I encountered some creepy folk so knocked it on the head..
decided to save up for the Cryos option, plus I think I have more info about my donor than I've had about some partners! Maybe I was looking on the wrong place but it put me off! Sounds like it works for some, are you doing with partner?

It's v costly, and certainly not how I imagined it being but here we are.

Still feel like I'm going to vom if I don't eat something every hour or so..

Had bonkers dream last night about running round poas! Still sweaty at night too, had to sleep with window open.

All very weird, didn't have this last time, if I've not caught I'm defo Sick! 🤢🤢

Freezerbump · 20/03/2019 17:24

@TimeIhadaNameChange now starts the madness! Good luck lovely xx

Waiting2BAMummy · 20/03/2019 17:45

@Freezerbump fingers crossed for your testing tomorrow

@TimeIhadaNameChange madness it absolutely is! You will find yourself googling everything to see if it's an early pregnancy symptom. In positive news you will come across many posts from other women asking the exact same questions so at least we're all as bonkers as each other!!

bitheby · 20/03/2019 17:59

No. I can't divulge all the details here but suffice to say that my relationship is unconventional and wouldn't be celebrated elsewhere on Mumsnet. To all intents and purposes, I'm single. He is my best friend and hopefully will be in my life for the foreseeable future, but we're not a partnership in the true sense.

I really want you to test Freezer. Can't wait to hear what's going on.

Waiting2BAMummy · 20/03/2019 18:08

My donor has just agreed to several donations in April so I am taking a couple of days of work when I think I am likely to get my positives (based on the last 2 months).

Is it April yet?!....

Freezerbump · 20/03/2019 18:15

@bitheby pffft, as long as it works for you chick, you'll find no judgement from this corner :)
I thought about doing it with a dear friend but when it came to it it was just too weird, and complicated, but mostly very weird!

Good luck to you :)

And good news @Waiting2BAMummy a busy April for you!

TimeIhadaNameChange · 20/03/2019 18:32

bitheby - don't worry, you're not the only one in an unconventional relationship. I call 'DP' my 'DP' as it makes life easier on MN, but he'd run a mile at the title. Part of the problem I have with telling my mother about this is that I've never said me and DP are together, mainly because we're not. But she'll not take the news of us having a baby together well at all, and that's without going into the details of donor sperm.

Waiting2BAMummy - not too long to go. Saying that, I should be able to test before the end of the month and it seems a lifetime away, so who am I to talk? Have already been Googling signs and symptoms. Every time I've thought about getting down to work I've thought of something else to query - whoops!

Freezerbump · 20/03/2019 18:39

@bitheby I'm going to try and hold out until tomorrow, I figure the longer I leave it and af stays away the more likely something will get picked up :/
I'll update either way :)
Some of these chat pages can be brutal! I figure I've googled everything and happy to have you guys to chat with openly, I'm sure I'll bore you with symptom spotting but that's how we all ended up here in the first place I bet!

Waiting2BAMummy · 20/03/2019 18:43

@Freezerbump completely agree with you about some boards being brutal....people come here for advice and support not to be ridiculed.

I'm so glad I have you ladies, a nice bunch of people who know they can say anything they want/need and will not be judged or made to feel stupid.

Here's to our BFP's....can't wait to share bubba pics with you all! x

Dosmamas · 20/03/2019 19:03

@Freezerbump hey so sorry it's taking me so long

I'll go pee on one now! AF was due today and no sign of it. still bfn on the HPT.

Just going up to pee on an Opk!

TimeIhadaNameChange · 20/03/2019 19:09

Good luck, Dosmamas!

Dosmamas · 20/03/2019 19:09

@Freezerbump have you tried the sugar test? Pour a bit of wee on sugar, if it dissolves then BFN, if it clumps together BFP!

Dosmamas · 20/03/2019 19:14

So OPK is the top one, negative. And HCG is bottom. Also negative.

Hurry up AF you nasty bitch!!

TTC - First time home insemination
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