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Donor conception

For anyone with experience of sperm or egg donation to share support and advice. Please remember this board isn’t for debate about donor conception.

TTC - First time home insemination

999 replies

libbyidk · 27/08/2017 14:53

First time posting so bare with me.

We are in a same sex relationship, and I just thought i'd share our story so far to see if anyone else is going through the same or has any advice/tips for myself and my partner.

We first went to a private clinic, and payed hundreds for scans, blood tests, screening etc, only to be told my partner couldn't donate her eggs (we were counting on this as it lowers the price by about 3-4000 pounds!), we were then told we should try IUI at the clinic which would cost us about 2-3000 pounds. We went home after this appointment and had a chat, we decided to try home insemination first, and if it doesn't work after 2 times, we will then go back to the clinic, but I wasn't finding them very helpful, and they were quite rude to us!

We searched online for sperm banks and came across cryos in denmark. We researched all the legal complications and know all about it, and decided as so many people do try this, we were going to as well. We ordered our anonymous washed donor sperm (MOT20) 2 vials (all we could afford.)

It arrived on tuesday (it lasts for 7 days in a nitro tank), and I started using the clear blue dual hormone predictor kit. I also use a fertility app and have been vaguely monitoring my cervical mucas. I tested negative from monday (the start of my fertility window) until yesterday (friday) i went straight from negative to peak on the clear blue monitor! I researched this to make sure it was right and I saw that a lot of people go straight from low to peak, especially if they missed their surge (which i may have done). The app also said I was due to have peak fertility friday and saturday, so i'm confident in the test and we decided to inseminate one vial on friday at 6pm (8 hours after my positive result) and we inseminated again on sunday at 6am. Just before I had the insemination, I was getting pretty bad cramps and I think ovulation may have started, although i'm not 100%. I got some cramp after inseminating too.

Frozen sperm lives in the body for 12-24 hours (apparantly) but some swimmers can last longer. So we inseminated at 6pm which will cover me (hopefully) until 6pm saturday, whilst also inseminating at 6am saturday which would cover me until 6am (hopefully) sunday. We sat and talked constantly about the timing but we just decided to go for it, as like everybody says, even if the timing is perfectly right and your CM is perfect, there is still only a 10-20% chance of conception.

I'm just praying my clearblue test was correct and my peak is friday and saturday like it shows. (My app also shows this like i said). I have a 29 day cycle and it's hardly EVER irregular, so I think we've done all what we should have.

Now we're onto our two week wait which i'm not looking forward to! Like I keep saying to myself, it is our first time trying and we could have done a number of things wrong. It is just trial and error from here on out! If anyone else wants to share their story about home insemination with frozen sperm, using clearblue monitors / success stories, i would really appreciate that!

OP posts:
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21
Dosmamas · 20/03/2019 19:17

Aww Thankyou @TimeIhadaNameChange hope this TWW is all yours! Fingers crossed!

We are looking for a new donor,
Looking on Just a Baby for a fella who has had successful pregnancy's. Our guy hasn't had any of his 3 recipients fall pregnant yet and and I'm not convinced his stuff is of good quality..

Dosmamas · 20/03/2019 19:22

@bitheby @Freezerbump re: sperm, I have done some reading today and basically there are so many variables that can effect it. Masturbation and hydration impact it. Some men never have it liquify some men only have liquified semen. So I wouldn't worry too much.

Dosmamas · 20/03/2019 19:23

@Waiting2BAMummy that would be fantastic if we all got our BFPS this year!

Freezerbump · 20/03/2019 19:25

@Dosmamas you're an angel for doing that! Thankyou :) figured you're about the same timing as me so wondered what your opk looked like....

However not a whisper of a pos line on your opk... hmmmm..

Sugar method?! Really?! Does that work? I'm so going to do that....

I think I might be a little hopeful ladies... I know it's silly to get an idea in my head but it might be sneaking in..

To tomorrow's first pee!

Freezerbump · 20/03/2019 19:45

@Dosmamas mind you, don't give up yet, I didn't start to feel disgusting until evening of expected af...... and got a bfn.. so you never know

Dosmamas · 20/03/2019 19:48

@Freezerbump i have watched it on YouTube the sugar method and someone who was very pregnant did it and it worked!

I don't want to be negative but look after yourself getting so hopeful, I did that over the weekend and it kind of left me a bit numb, I was so convinced I had a faint line. However I didn't have any symptoms like you did. What time in the morning are you likely to test and I'll make sure I check in here!

Freezerbump · 20/03/2019 19:53

@Dosmamas yeah I'm being mindful.. felt very af'y last night and was pretty sure she'd turn up today, hence random opk peeing out of curiosity as the box was in the loo getting ready for next cycle!

Will be typical she turns up in the middle of the night.. if that happens there will be gin on sat!

Leave for work about 0615 so ridiculously early... I'll try and get organised to post before I leave either way! Xx

Dosmamas · 20/03/2019 20:06

I hope you sleep okay tonight! Good luck!

Freezerbump · 20/03/2019 20:12

@Dosmamas I'm shattered so hopefully I'll pass out.

Just read back my post and it's all about me, sorry for being insensitive, this TWW shit makes a girl a little self obsessed..

I'm sorry your hpt came back neg today lovely.

I've been reading loads and it seems that a lot don't get pos results until 8+ days post af date, despite what the tests say they can do so until she turns up you're in this purgatory with me madam :)

Dosmamas · 20/03/2019 20:20

@Freezerbump no don't worry, it's awesome having people still in the game, your so excited and so you should be!! . I'm not disappointed about my BFN's it would be foolish to expect a positive first month. I have loads more trying to do. I'm more fed up with my first ever cycle being a mess after so long of it being like clockwork and now I'm sure AF will take ages to come on. 🤬

I still have a molecule of hope, you really aren't out until AF shows. I want to be one of those posters who are like "got my BFP 23dpo after only having insem'd once on a rollercoaster in Blackpool"

Freezerbump · 20/03/2019 20:38

@Dosmamas lol! Starting to feel a bit af'y again.... will see if I can will her away overnight! Xx

Dosmamas · 20/03/2019 21:04

@Freezerbump I feel the same right now. I wish you temp'd and then you would be able to see what your temperate is doing! Mine is up but apart from that I have zero preg symptoms.

TTC - First time home insemination
bitheby · 20/03/2019 21:43

I have actually posted about him on another board a long, long time ago and the responses were brutal and I was up for most of the night crying. I was told that he was only using me for sex and doesn't love me (by complete strangers who have no idea, plus he has some erectile dysfunction issues so even our sex life is unconventional).

I'm so doing the sugar thing next time I'm in a position to try Grin

Freezerbump · 21/03/2019 05:28

BFN ladies, FFS... must be Ill..

Dosmamas · 21/03/2019 06:01

I'm so sorry @Freezerbump 😩

Waiting2BAMummy · 21/03/2019 07:14

So sorry @Freezerbump

TimeIhadaNameChange · 21/03/2019 09:13

So very sorry, Freezerbump. Here's to your next cycle, and I hope you're feeling better soon.

bitheby - I had a similar reaction on Relationships a few years ago. Luckily the most brutal replies had been deleted by the time I read them (as it were) but I did shed a few tears.

TimeIhadaNameChange · 21/03/2019 09:18

In other news, DP has been telling all and sundry about this. He admitted when I got home last night that he'd 'let slip' to his two young workmates. This is after he told someone else at work last week, which meant I had to tell a friend as it would be unfair if she'd heard it from her. I know he's also told all his family, and his mates at his local in his home city.

At least I suppose this means he's excited, but still, I'd really rather not be the subject of of gossip, not have such a weight of expectation on my shoulders (or should that be in my uterus!).

Dosmamas · 21/03/2019 09:46

Aww bless him @TimeIhadaNameChange he's so excited isn't he! That's lovely!

bitheby · 21/03/2019 12:22

Oh Freezer. Am completely gutted. How many DPO are you today? Do you feel like AF is on its way? Not over til it's over but if you are ill, I hope you feel better really soon.

Freezerbump · 21/03/2019 16:10

Hi ladies!
Well I'm well and truly out, af got me at lunchtime (that'll teach me!)

Never mind, here's to gin!

Xx

TimeIhadaNameChange · 21/03/2019 16:45

What a shame!

Try to enjoy your gin, and here's to next month! xxx

bitheby · 21/03/2019 16:52

Cheers Freezer.

I had whiskey the first day of AF. And port on the second.

Booked in for a smear test today which is massively overdue. Makes sense to get it done before I try again.

Still waiting for HR to get in touch. Doesn't appear that I'll be starting imminently. Plenty of time to do lots of housework ... perhaps I'll start tomorrow...

Freezerbump · 21/03/2019 16:56

😬 well I still feel like crap anyway, with the new addition of a headache, so gin can't make it any worse can it?!

Maybe 3 is the magic number after all!

Dosmamas · 21/03/2019 17:01

@bitheby forget them, those relationships boards are joke. Any minor issue "leave them" "that's abuse, leave them" "divorce" that's all the advise they give.

I asked how to tackle a difference in libido, mine being high and hers being non existent. Only advice I got was "relationships over, enjoy your friendship" "leave her, mismatched libido's are irreparable" 5 years we have been together, and I would rather go forever without sex than leave her. Doesn't anyone fix things anymore?