TTC - First time home insemination

[libbyidk]

First time posting so bare with me.

We are in a same sex relationship, and I just thought i'd share our story so far to see if anyone else is going through the same or has any advice/tips for myself and my partner.

We first went to a private clinic, and payed hundreds for scans, blood tests, screening etc, only to be told my partner couldn't donate her eggs (we were counting on this as it lowers the price by about 3-4000 pounds!), we were then told we should try IUI at the clinic which would cost us about 2-3000 pounds. We went home after this appointment and had a chat, we decided to try home insemination first, and if it doesn't work after 2 times, we will then go back to the clinic, but I wasn't finding them very helpful, and they were quite rude to us!

We searched online for sperm banks and came across cryos in denmark. We researched all the legal complications and know all about it, and decided as so many people do try this, we were going to as well. We ordered our anonymous washed donor sperm (MOT20) 2 vials (all we could afford.)

It arrived on tuesday (it lasts for 7 days in a nitro tank), and I started using the clear blue dual hormone predictor kit. I also use a fertility app and have been vaguely monitoring my cervical mucas. I tested negative from monday (the start of my fertility window) until yesterday (friday) i went straight from negative to peak on the clear blue monitor! I researched this to make sure it was right and I saw that a lot of people go straight from low to peak, especially if they missed their surge (which i may have done). The app also said I was due to have peak fertility friday and saturday, so i'm confident in the test and we decided to inseminate one vial on friday at 6pm (8 hours after my positive result) and we inseminated again on sunday at 6am. Just before I had the insemination, I was getting pretty bad cramps and I think ovulation may have started, although i'm not 100%. I got some cramp after inseminating too.

Frozen sperm lives in the body for 12-24 hours (apparantly) but some swimmers can last longer. So we inseminated at 6pm which will cover me (hopefully) until 6pm saturday, whilst also inseminating at 6am saturday which would cover me until 6am (hopefully) sunday. We sat and talked constantly about the timing but we just decided to go for it, as like everybody says, even if the timing is perfectly right and your CM is perfect, there is still only a 10-20% chance of conception.

I'm just praying my clearblue test was correct and my peak is friday and saturday like it shows. (My app also shows this like i said). I have a 29 day cycle and it's hardly EVER irregular, so I think we've done all what we should have.

Now we're onto our two week wait which i'm not looking forward to! Like I keep saying to myself, it is our first time trying and we could have done a number of things wrong. It is just trial and error from here on out! If anyone else wants to share their story about home insemination with frozen sperm, using clearblue monitors / success stories, i would really appreciate that!

@Dosmamas sorry guys missed a whole block of the thread!

Haven't been temping and haven't gone in to that side of the techniques yet so would t know what I'm looking for really... all I can say is that I'm quite hot, any activity has me sweating buckets! I think I might be ill but I feel ok other than vom waves, swearing and a bit snotty

Ha! Sweating even! Also a bit sweary generally!

@TimeIhadaNameChange good luck tonight! Fingers crossed for you 😘

All sounds promising to me @Freezerbump!

One of us has to get a BFP this month!

@Freezerbump you are our last hope! Of the three of us cycle buddies only you are left! I haven't got AF but I keep getting BFN's.

@bitheby I am going to try next cycle I'm not bothered about a December baby, I was born at Christmas and It could be the most amazing birthday present, plus I won't be making the same mistakes my parents did at birthday time. I hope you try with me. So hard to find gay cycle buddies from the UK!

@Waiting2BAMummy when are you in your FW? I have read your post but sorry can't remember how your TTC journey is going, what method do you use?

@TimeIhadaNameChange how exciting! Good luck xox

@Dosmamas well I just had some salt and vinegar crisps which seems to have improved things marginally.. I can't help but thinking this is all psychosomatic.. would be very lucky to catch on second try.

Bring on Wednesday!

Just realised I can have a drink tonight to celebrate the job. Every cloud...

I accidentally ate panettone with alcohol in it in the TWW and was horrified. Going to woof the whole lot down now with gay abandon!

I'll see about next cycle. My birthday is in January so keener on that one for similar reasons. I like having a January birthday.

@TimeIhadaNameChange I just read back on your post where you said if you thought about your period it would late.. I feel like that 100% I have been tracking for 18 months and had a perfect cycle, I was actually quite proud of it as lame as it is, because I have endo my periods can be awful and horrid but I was happy that despite the pain and vileness of it all, at least it was textbook and every month the same.

Well two months ago My partner and I made a snap decision for me to try, how hard could it be since I ovulate the same cycle day every month! Well..I ovulated 5 days early that month and only got one donation (I swear I was too late judging by the pain and spotting) I never ever ever have spotting during my cycle. But this month I have had it all!! Spotting. Cramping since ovulation and bad uterine pains. My very first month TTC. I get so angry at my body. It's a bloody Judas!

@Dosmamas I got my positive OPK today only my donor is away and not available until Wednesday so I won't be inseminating this month. I am gutted as I missed January too. I had just started using the clearblue advanced digital ovulation tests and didn't get a static smiley for the entire month. I think I was doing my second test of the day too late but now I have started doing it in the afternoon and last month and today got them both at 4pm.

I have been trying since November but only inseminated 3 times. I am using fresh samples but my donor lives over 100 miles away so only getting to see him once a month. I think I may take the week off next month so I can see him more often. I have been using the stork conception aid for the insemination but at £100 per kit (and you can only use them once) it's all getting very expensive. If I am going to go for the week next month might opt for soft cups.

It's so annoying when AF is late but you aren't getting BFP's my first cycle was like that but since I've been TTC they seem to be all over the place. January was only 25 days but since I hadn't been able to inseminate that month I was quite happy to be onto the next cycle!

How long have you been trying?

It's so nice to know I'm not alone in this as nobody in my life knows I'm doing this. You ladies are a real life line.

@Waiting2BAMummy I know what you mean about talking things through on here. The women at my work are all straight with baby #3/4 on the way and they just do not get the torture of it all. AI is so hard aswell, there are so many things that you are relying on. Taking time off work to meet your donor is such a commitment, next cycle has to be yours!!

@Waiting2BAMummy I have used soft cups, I'm not pregnant yet but I didn't lose a drop of the stuff and to me that's all that matters. It was all in there with only one way to go lol. They are expensive that's the only down side.

What vitamins are you all on? I am staying away from conception vitamins as both my partners and now my cycle has been messed up by them. I didn't believe it until it happened to me..

@Dosmamas thank you. I want this so much, of course we all do. For me, and I really don't want to lay on a sob story, I am estranged from my family they are not very nice people and this is a new chapter for me. I want to make my own family and not repeat those past wrongs.

If I brought home a baby tomorrow I am ready, my front room looks more like mothercare!

@Dosmamas the soft cups can't be as expensive as a £100 a time for the stork? and when you use that you have to draw down like a plunger thing that squashes the cup for insertion. When you do that it goes everywhere and I start panicking that, that's my future baby going everywhere - nuts right?!

I'm only taking folic acid.

@Waiting2BAMummy aww bless you. That's such a good attitude to take. I feel like we have a little family on these boards sometimes, all you need is people to understand.

Would you consider looking again for a donor a bit closer to home? To save you the stress of travel and so you can have more than one insem per cycle?

@Waiting2BAMummy no they are only £20 so nothing like the stork. Defo try with a soft cup it's essentially the same thing once it's in and you've "sucked it up" there yourself. (How are your pelvic floors?lol)

@Dosmamas @bitheby @Waiting2BAMummy @TimeIhadaNameChange I like our little family you've been so helpful and encouraging, difficult to explain the journey to life people, especially before a BFp.

Thankyou girls :) x

I'm going to try softcups next time. The syringes were really hard to use and I ended up with loads of air in them. Panicking at all the sperm I was killing.

Have spoken to my donor and he's happy to help again.

I swear Amazon must know exactly what I'm up to after all these purchases!

Am really glad to have found all you lot too. So great to have support.

Found this based on an Amazon review. Apparently they've taken over.

Are these ok?

flexfits.uk/?_ga=2.251566147.475659210.1552939380-1094631639.1552939380

@Freezerbump I love your name by the way! @Dosmamas @bithebi @TimeIhadaNameChange Okay I'm crying now!

This is such a massive thing we're all doing and to have you guys along for the ride is just amazing. As you say anyone who hasn't been through this cannot possibly understand it's so much harder than being in a heterosexual relationship with access to the good stuff whenever they need it whereas we have to jump through hoops to get hold of it and your constantly relying on other people.

Everyone of you should be proud of the strong women you are and your future babies are lucky to have you as their mummies

xx

@bitheby yes those are the ones, they took over softcup brand. You can still get the softcup brand in amazon, i don't know what's cheaper though.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Instead-Hour-Feminine-Protection-Cup/dp/B000X29GY6/ref=mpssa111?keywords=softcup&qid=1552941353&s=gateway&sr=8-1

Sometimes a group like this makes this whole journey that much easier. Sometimes I can't even talk to my partner about all this and vice versa cause we get guilty that we can't give each other what we want. It's stupid but I feel guilty that I can't give her a baby and she does the same to me?? Its an impossible guilt...

If anyone wants any syringes, I bought a box of 100 and I've only used 3! Not sure I'll need all of the rest

How do you insert a soft cup?

I can imagine me getting the sample everywhere other than where it's supposed to be and unless my toes can grow a baby that's not going to help much!!

Girls.. panic over, I think I must have been super hungry or something going, normality is now restored.. I'm shattered, still suck at coming off night shifts.. off to bed with classic will and grace :)

I understand totally about not being able to give/ provide dp. Magnifies the disappointment, you'll get there xx