TTC - First time home insemination

[libbyidk]

First time posting so bare with me.

We are in a same sex relationship, and I just thought i'd share our story so far to see if anyone else is going through the same or has any advice/tips for myself and my partner.

We first went to a private clinic, and payed hundreds for scans, blood tests, screening etc, only to be told my partner couldn't donate her eggs (we were counting on this as it lowers the price by about 3-4000 pounds!), we were then told we should try IUI at the clinic which would cost us about 2-3000 pounds. We went home after this appointment and had a chat, we decided to try home insemination first, and if it doesn't work after 2 times, we will then go back to the clinic, but I wasn't finding them very helpful, and they were quite rude to us!

We searched online for sperm banks and came across cryos in denmark. We researched all the legal complications and know all about it, and decided as so many people do try this, we were going to as well. We ordered our anonymous washed donor sperm (MOT20) 2 vials (all we could afford.)

It arrived on tuesday (it lasts for 7 days in a nitro tank), and I started using the clear blue dual hormone predictor kit. I also use a fertility app and have been vaguely monitoring my cervical mucas. I tested negative from monday (the start of my fertility window) until yesterday (friday) i went straight from negative to peak on the clear blue monitor! I researched this to make sure it was right and I saw that a lot of people go straight from low to peak, especially if they missed their surge (which i may have done). The app also said I was due to have peak fertility friday and saturday, so i'm confident in the test and we decided to inseminate one vial on friday at 6pm (8 hours after my positive result) and we inseminated again on sunday at 6am. Just before I had the insemination, I was getting pretty bad cramps and I think ovulation may have started, although i'm not 100%. I got some cramp after inseminating too.

Frozen sperm lives in the body for 12-24 hours (apparantly) but some swimmers can last longer. So we inseminated at 6pm which will cover me (hopefully) until 6pm saturday, whilst also inseminating at 6am saturday which would cover me until 6am (hopefully) sunday. We sat and talked constantly about the timing but we just decided to go for it, as like everybody says, even if the timing is perfectly right and your CM is perfect, there is still only a 10-20% chance of conception.

I'm just praying my clearblue test was correct and my peak is friday and saturday like it shows. (My app also shows this like i said). I have a 29 day cycle and it's hardly EVER irregular, so I think we've done all what we should have.

Now we're onto our two week wait which i'm not looking forward to! Like I keep saying to myself, it is our first time trying and we could have done a number of things wrong. It is just trial and error from here on out! If anyone else wants to share their story about home insemination with frozen sperm, using clearblue monitors / success stories, i would really appreciate that!

Ughhhhhh I'm having a hormonal flappy day, I just want to know!!!!! But I also know that poas is pointless until at least weds, I need counselling ladies, tell me I'm not bonkers

@Freezerbump you're not bonkers at all....either that or we all are....

I think TTC is enough to send even the most stable of women into a state of complete neuroses!!

The problem is that it's just not an exact science you don't know when you're going to get your positive OPK until you do and even if you do everything right you still have only a 20-30% chance each cycle. I think all that is enough to drive anyone over the edge!!

Freezerbump - you're not bonkers.

Waiting2BAMummy - I've been having a really weird feeling in my stomach the last few hours, which is mad. Even if fertilisation has happened already (which would be unlikely) implantation doesn't happen for something like 8-10 days, so I can't believe I'd be feeling anything yet.

And, despite hating the way pregnant women seem to cradle their belly so much I could half fell myself doing that just now (saying that I was surrounded by young children climbing all over me, so not without some cause) - very OTT!!!!!

As for the OPK sticks, I was expecting a higher reading this morning from the cheapo sticks, but it dropped from 21 to 4 (according to my App which 'translates' line darkness into a number). Mind you, it was the first wee of the day and I suppose lighting could make a difference (find it really hard to take a clear enough photo). But the all-dancing digital thingy gave me a peak solid smiley this morning. So who knows?????

Have any of you told any medics you're doing this? I had a read of one of my medications this morning (not a common thing I don't think) and it said to speak to your doctor if pregnant or breastfeeding (usual) but also if you're trying for a baby (not so usual). So I rang to speak to him, presuming he'd say aye or nay. Glad I did, as he's not sure so speaking to the pharmacist, but I got a barrage of questions which I didn't really expect. Including "How long have you been trying?" He wasn't expecting the answer to be "last night"!!!!! But then I explained about using a donor, which I thought I'd get moaned at about but I didn't, instead he wished me luck, which was nice. But I wasn't going to have this on my medical records so soon. Oh well!!!

I agree, Waiting2BAMummy. As I've said before, I'm glad I'm only giving this one shot (at least for now). Going through this month after month would drive me up the wall! And I can see how couples trying to do it naturally can end up in trouble - it would be so easy for me to become obsessed about it all demanding sex at the most opportune moment each month.

Thanks girls.. I can't help thinking I'm out, boobs getting big again and a bit sore when poked, think she's on her way :/

@TimeIhadaNameChange first time I did it (this is only my second) I had quite bad cramps soon after, similar this time but not as bad, never had that before ttc.

Fingers crossed for you, are you having another go tonight? What mot did you use? I'm thinking of upping to a 20 (so expensive) next time

I got the job.

Band 7 NHS job.

Would've been a fairytale to get both that and the BFP today but actually maybe waiting a few months financially now is sensible.

You're not bonkers. I'm a very sensible person usually and this is making me bonkers.

Thanks, Freezerbump. I honestly think I must be imagining it al!

Yep, round two tonight. Hopefully slightly earlier than last night though (ended up doing it on the sofa, as easier to keep my hips raised, but then because of staying there for 30 mins I didn't get to bed til gone 12, which is far too late for me!).

I got 10 motility, so I could afford the three straws. I'm sure I read somewhere that there was little point going any higher, but I'm probably wrong.

Well done, bitheby, that's brilliant news!

TimeIhadaNameChange - I think if it's possible to feel ovulation then it's possible to feel fertilisation? You talking of women cradling their stomach's we have a lady in our office who is currently 27 weeks pregnant and just standings sticking her bump out in everyone's face I really want to slap her - I know I'm just jealous!!

I had your experience with the OPK's too. Last night my cheapie stick look like a glaring positive and this afternoon I got my static smiley face. Unfortunately my donor is away so I am left all ready to go and no equipment to work with. I am so gutted that this month is just being wasted but there is nothing I can do about it so I guess I just have to get on with it. I may have to go home and drown my sorrows in chocolate! Weird that we both got our statics today!! #CycleBuddies - although hopefully you will catch this month and it will just be me inseminating again next month.

Freezerbump - boobs painful and growing are a sign of early pregnancy. You're not going mad and you're definitely not out until the witch arrives.

bitheby - I'm sorry that the witch arrived for you but super congratulations on the job. Maybe the fact that it didn't work this month is a blessing in disguise?

@bitheby congratulations!! I work band 3 in clinical coding love the job but the wages are shite! What do you do?

Lon

Sorry wrong thread! Apols

Yes. I think it might be. I'm keen to avoid a Christmas baby so was seriously considering missing this month anyway and now I need to find out how long I'd need to be in post before qualifying for maternity pay. It's NHS and I've never worked in the NHS before.

I would feel really awful to be offered a job and then get pregnant before I started. Due to my insanely short cycles at the moment, I'd be in my fertile window again next week.

I've messaged my donor to tel him the news and see if he's happy to help again a bit further along the line.

Obviously my worry head is worrying that I can't get pregnant and I'd be 43 before this baby will now be born but hopefully I still have time. At least now I'll be able to afford to look after it.

@Freezerbump got my fingers crossed here for you! Let's hope those boobs keep getting bigger! What are your temps doing?

Mine have plateaued for some reason, should be climbing by now if I was pregnant. Still have horrid PMS. Since I ovulated 5 days early I bet I'll be very late with AF, always is the way on messy cycles. BFN this afternoon with a four hour hold.

I've stopped even thinking I'm on the TWW anymore. Just want AF to come and go so I can try again.

@Dosmamas it's a management role in mental health. Won't say much more as you never know who might be reading the thread!

@bitheby

Most trusts have the same policy, must have worked for 24 continuous weeks by the time you are in your 15th week of pregnancy.

@bitheby aww amazing. My partner is band 6 in mental health. She is also about to start a new post.

@bithebi women are generally having babies later in life these days so I think you'll be okay. As for the maternity pay I think the standard is that provided you're not pregnant when you start you qualify. So you have to have been employed for a minimum of 25 weeks before the 25th week of pregnancy. My baby would have been due mid December if I had caught this month but I can't do anything now until April meaning i'll be expecting a January baby.

Maybe I'm wrong then @Dosmamas - maybe need to go read the maternity policy again! Not that it matters as I have been in my company now for 9 years.

@Waiting2BAMummy I have recently just read my trusts policy, but they do differ, the two I have read from different trusts have been the same.

To qualify for Occupational Maternity/Adoption Pay (OMP/OAP) you will need to have been continuously employed with one or more NHS employers for a period of no less than 12 months as at the beginning of the 11th week before the expected week of childbirth (EWC) and wish to return to work

To qualify for Statutory Maternity/Adoption Pay (SMP/SAP), you will need to be employed within the Health Board or another NHS Employer for a continuous period of 26 weeks before the 15th week prior to the expected week of childbirth

Either way I'll need to be employed for a few weeks before failing pregnant. I think the occupational scheme is pushing it to wait that long. But then it could take that long to get pregnant anyway.

@bitheby brilliant news!!!! Well done lovely!!!
Maybe there was a reason you didn't catch this time after all :) give you some time to qualify for maternity xx

@Waiting2BAMummy we shall see..

I've just had a wave of sickness come over me walking back from the shop, thought I might have to decamp in to a bush... maybe I'm coming down with something.. would also explain hot flashes .. bloody body, trying not to get hopes up

Fingers crossed for you so much Freezer

@Freezerbump hot flashes and sickness all signs of BFP!!

I have everything crossed for you x