#makeithappen TTC through Donor IUI or Donor IVF or just undecided. All welcome. Thread 9

[kwick]

This thread is for anyone trying to conceive... or thinking about doing so through donor IUI or donor IVF. Nothing TMI - feel free to join, we are a lovely group here to support and help keep the cray-cray away!

Here is the link to the previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2908645--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-All-welcome-Thread-8
And the one before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2886793--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-All-welcome-Thread-7
And the one before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2863056--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-Thread-6
Here is the link to the one before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2832207--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2769549-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen-loadsofBFPs
Here is the link to the thread before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2688511-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2587046-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
And the one before that!: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1877198-Donor-IUI

We also have a weight loss spin off thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2889818-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-weight-loss-spin-off-thread

All the best for today Munro!!

Good luck today Munro! How did the ai go Juney?

I'm doing ok - still up & down with my mental health. So many things to figure out and just feel like time is running out. Very hard when age is your enemy!

Good luck munro!!

Started on doxycycline yesterday.... and proper AF arrived this morning, so its all going on!
Called my local scanning clinic to get a scan appointment for tomorrow and theres no-one there and their phones are diverted to one of their sister clinics. So after a long drawn out conversation with the receptionist I 'think' I will be scanned tomorrow, but they are calling me in the AM to let me know. if not will need to be scanned on Thursday.... First bump in the road in using an FC hours away!!! argh!

Good luck today munro 🤞🏻 this is your month

phoenix he produced a good amount last night! I mixed it with preseed this time and put some preseed inside, but DW made me laugh at the moment of my own climax....good thing we don't need to orgasm to reproduce huh?!

Sorry you're still feeling up and down, I can't imagine how you must be feeling x

LRD hope you're okay! Why are humans so bad at communication...? It's something we are particularly crap at in my organisation.

Hi all, once again been terrible about logging onto this thread and now so so far behind. Partly because I ve had a lot of disappointment with treatment, partly because laptop had broken and was struggling with 1 finger typing, and partly because am just crap. Here are my details about treatment

I'm Ever, 41 next month. Single lady. History of endometriosis and low ovarian reserve. Started this variably exciting and sad process at the beginning of last year.

IVF1: Feb 2016. 2 eggs, both fertilised. Produced my beautiful baby Mabel who sadly died 29 days after birth due to Edwards Syndrome. This happened in Nov 16

IVF 2: June 2017. Catastrophic failure. 1 egg, which failed to fertilise with 450iu stimms of menopur. Think it came from left side which had been affected by endo and clinic felt that quality was possibly poor due to this reason. Or could have just been a poor month - who knows!!
Both treatments at BCRM in Bristol.

Currently weighing up options but likely to opt for donor embryo/donor egg cycle in Serum, Greece or IB, Spain. Serum I ve researched independently and has been a clinic I ve been impressed with for some time, both by the results and amazing customer service, IB is a clinic personally chosen for quality by my current Fertility Consultant. They have an amazing success rate detailed on their website but would be through the intermediary of FC. Undecided, but could potentially be looking at treatment as early as August, if go with Spain and Sept, if with Greece.

Did ask how Serum would approach own egg IVF if I was to attempt a different protocol. They said with clomid only, they have seen this work with other patients with OE after multiple failures elsewhere, but the concern is high chance of m/c and foetal abnormalities, but mostly failure to get pregnant in the first place. Their view is, clomid is inexpensive so you don't lose out much financially and if no response, revert to a donor egg cycle and have asked whether could convert to IUI, but have had no answer to that yet. They also offer stem cell treatments to rejuvenate the ovaries but are a bit 50/50 as to whether it would work in my case because I ve had endometriosis, so the damage might be irreversible and also if it did work, I d have more oestrogen in my ovaries which might flare it up. Only had endo in my left ovary, so whether it would work on my good side, I don't know. Bloody endo

Just joined the donor conception network, struggle with fertility friends because the threads are essays! just to read some more inspirational stories of double donor treatment, as I admit although I expected to be going down this route, its much more emotional than I had anticipated after losing Mabel and having a failed cycle of IVF on top. Have counselling soon and am weighing up my options. Ultimately I just want a baby in my arms, so am sure this can all be overcome.

Best of luck Munro with IUI, & to Stork with your hybrid IVF cycle in new clinic (3rd time lucky), Hi Juney hope your AI has gone ok.
Hi Snowdog, the huge egg yield sounds very promising for you, best of luck. Hi Phoenix so sorry everything still up/down for you. What happened with your friend re trying naturally for a baby?. Hope I haven't missed something there, or have said something insensitive.
Angliski glad your trying again on your next cycle. Wishing you success.

Hi to everyone else, as cant remember where everyone else is at, but hope all is well.. Especially to those who have had recent successes with treatment

How did it go Munro?

Everyone 9pm one born every minute on ch4 there is a single lady who used sperm donor and a couple who had ivf .....should be worth a watch :)

I had an eventful day.
Think I got flashed by a speed camera going to my fc 😣 that's what happens when you are worried about being late and the journey is 3hrs!
But then the clinic changed my donor and the new one has red hair and blue eyes which I'm so happy about as I have red hair and blue eyes both of which are recessive so I never thought I would have a child who looked like me....DH is pleased too
But then in my post iui brain I got a parking ticket as I popped into m&s and the car park said 30mins free so I just parked up and popped in. Came out to the parking warden...i should have printed out a free ticket. Pah. Not ashamed to say I cried at my own stupidity.
I'm such an emotional wreck of late.

pickle thanks for the info, I have been hoping that they would do a single mum one. Will watch it on catch-up tomorrow.

munro thats annoying about the speed camera and parking ticket. Not sure why you should have to print out a free ticket (i guess to show how long you have been there). Hope everything went wel with the IUI, welcome to another TWW

Oh bugger Munro what a day 🙄hopefully the good will out way the bad

I am not sure how many of you will remember me from this thread but I previously posted under username TTC3YEARS. As that will soon be 4 years and I proved I am completely inept at sock puppeting I am just posting under my usual site name from now on!!

Our story: PFB conceived naturally after 6 months trying. He's now 6. Came off pill 09/13. Fertility tests last year showed DH fine, my AMH is 1.01. Failed IVF 10/16 after my eggs released early. New Consultant thinks we were given wrong percentage odds of success given my AMH and age (40) but that's a whole other thread.

I took a step away from this thread whilst we made decisions about what we wanted to do with our journey. Tomorrow we will officially be on the list waiting for egg donor from our new clinic which is over 60 miles from our home. That's not the most convenient but they have very good stats and hell would have to freeze over before I set foot in our local clinic again

Oh, munro, red hair! That's so cool. I am a little jealous. DP's ginger and I secretly want a ginger baby.

ever - that sounds heartbreaking. Sorry to read how hard it has been for you, and for the loss of your daughter.

I hope you get some more hopeful news soon.

Oh Munro I'm so excited for you - it's very rare to get reheaded donors in the UK (why I went to Denmark!) so essentially you've found a unicorn!

Welcome back Button - do you mind sharing what you meant by your new consultant thinks you were given wrong percentage of odds? Has your clinic given you any indication as to how long you could be waiting for donor eggs?

Thanks Phoenix

Basically when we first attended we were told a 1% chance with my AMH and age. DH and I were both under this impression. When we went back to discuss donor eggs he said we were both wrong and he'd actually give us 25% chance.

I find it hard to believe we both misheard the same percentage. We went ahead with my eggs on this basis. Our new Consultant agreed 1% was more likely

Current waiting list for eggs is 2-4 months, the Clinic said they currently have more donors than recipients . Clinic said they're looking at end of Summer for transfer

Oh, that's crap about the miscommunication, button. I also find it hard to believe you both misheard.

I'm getting a bit down. I hope it's ok to talk about it here. Things aren't awful, we're very lucky in lots of ways, etc. But every single thing seems to require endless chasing, admin fuck ups, miscommunications, and delays. It's really starting to get to me, because I'm constantly on the phone being passed round different people, or trying to email for clarification, or going to appointments where it becomes clear that they don't have the right information or they've let something slide. Yesterday I went to the GP so that I could hand-deliver a request from the clinic to refer me to the NHS, which should have arrived two weeks ago. Last time the GP referred me to the NHS, the paperwork got lost in their system.

Yesterday DP's sister - who works for the NHS - was visiting. She is nice and I think means well, but she always manages to make me feel as if I'm being simultaneously entitled and hypochondriac, and should just wait patiently for the NHS to book me an appointment. I'm also worried because part of the reason I'm trying to get pregnant is that DP had such a horrible, botched labour. Her sister insists this was perfectly routine and makes me feel we're being silly to ask questions. The attitude is very much 'the doctor is always right' and 'aren't you lucky the doctor was there'.

Meanwhile my brother's family, who know I'm worried about treatment for this cyst and in some pain, came to visit and didn't once ask how we were.

I am grateful for our NHS, of course. But I'm so fed up! Sorry, that was such a rant. But I'm beginning to feel this is really getting to me.

LRD, it's perfectly normal to feel like that and don't apologise for the rant. I think many of us can relate to the frustration and stress derived from the admin f**ks up and there have been way too many of this thread. I personally feel this was the biggest source of stress of my ttc journey and I wasn't even relying on the NHS, I was giving ££££s to a private clinic and still felt no one looked out for me. I genuinely know (no exaggeration) that I wouldn't be pregnant as I write if at some point I hadn't converted myself into the clinic's most painful patient!!! Even when I was released the receptionists mentioned how I was always angry and how it wasn't worth it - excuse me??? You did this to me!!!!

It's very easy once things go wrong to lose your PMA and I would hate to be in your position, waiting to hear. Don't worry too much about what people say and follow your gut, if you feel you need to be seen asap just chase and chase and chase. Some papers and requests do unfortunately get lost unlike your DP'a sister says. I was once referred for an X-ray and the letter never arrived.

Ttc puts us in our own very bubble and sometimes the outside world isn't reactive to this. It is really tough but totally worth it in the end as you know. Hang in there xx

Thanks, pez.

It is such a stress, isn't it?! And I have been so shocked that so many of us have had similar experiences (and I know mine are mild compared to some). It's absurd.

But thank you so much for reminding me of the good things at the end.

I hope all's going really well for you right now. xxx

Finally catching up on one born every minute now. My best friend is 15 weeks after her first DIUI as a single woman.

LRD frankly other people tend to be disappointing in terms of responses, it never seems to be quite right, so now I try to have zero expectation!

Baseline scan today went well, and just did first night of stimms. Holy cow, the amount of drugs I just pumped into my body was a lot. Seriously. A lot. Fostimon and suprecur tonight and the doxycycline continues.....

Love to all, ps I dislike this heat!

LRD I'm so sorry you're feeling down. I'm not sure if it helps but I know exactly how you feel. The extra stress of miscommunication, lost paperwork, notes not being transferred etc etc is really hard to deal with on top of all the other emotions of this journey. We only have finite mental resources, and we need them for focusing on actually trying to conceive, not chasing up admin f**k ups!

I started this journey feeling so positive and empowered, like I was really taking control of my future, but at times I feel SO disheartened and disempowered. This week being a case in point - having waited all month for the first day of my cycle so I could ring up to book my HSG, I called and was told the radiologist was on leave so it would have to be next month. I was absolutely gutted as I thought I'd be on my second iui by now and I'm still so far from even starting my first :( Managed to get them to agree to do it at a different point in my cycle, but only by a LOT of pushing/emails/phonecalls. It's so draining.

So then having got that sorted yesterday morning, I came home in the evening to a letter saying my clinic is 'discontinuing provision' from November! The letter was so nonsensical - sounds like I may have to transfer treatment to another clinic at some point but no real understanding of where or when. I'm waiting for them to call me back on Friday to discuss, but I've started doing my own research into the options as I'm wondering whether it makes more sense to transfer now before I've properly started rather than later on - I would much rather have some continuity of care.

It's all a massive headache though. I really empathise either how you are feeling. I'm trying to allow myself a bit of time to feel upset, negative and frustrated but then give myself a bit of a shake, focus on the long term goal and remind myself I AM makimg progress even if it doesn't feel like it - we're on the right track, and we will get there in the end! But please don't feel bad for feeling down, and especially not for talking about it here, this stuff has such an enormous emotional toll, it's a real lifesaver to be able to share that with you guys knowing you understand. In a funny way your post helped me - not that I'm glad you're feeling down as I wish it was easier for us all, just that I'm struggling too and it made me feel less crazy!

Big hugs. We can do this. But it IS bloody hard and it's OK to acknowledge that!

LRD and Snork
Your stories of chasing up etc sound awful. I'm sorry you have had to experience this but I'm also aware that this is all too common in our journeys. Certainly seems to be a common theme on this thread.
Sending love as tbh we don't need all the extra stress!!! Grr
Also pickle, I think a red head donor is more common up here but I still feel very lucky. 🤞ginger baby 🤞

snork, thanks, your lovely kind message was just what I needed to read. Though I am sorry, because your experience sounds awful! It is absurd that they wouldn't know before now that someone would be on holiday.

And thanks stork and munro too. We can do this! It's so good to have somewhere to talk about it, and people in the same boat.

Hope today is a good one for everyone.

Oh big hugs Snork and LRD the constant campaigning is a royal pain in the ass isn't it. If it makes you feel any better at least you'll be prepared for when you have a kid. When they're sick you have to advocate, advocate, advocate or you just don't get anywhere - so you can always look at this as mama training!