#makeithappen TTC through Donor IUI or Donor IVF or just undecided. All welcome. Thread 7

[kwick]

This thread is for anyone trying to conceive... or thinking about doing so through donor IUI or donor IVF. Nothing TMI - feel free to join, we are a lovely group here to support and help keep the cray-cray away!

Here is the link to the previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2863056--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-Thread-6

Here is the link to the one before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2832207--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2769549-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen-loadsofBFPs
Here is the link to the thread before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2688511-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2587046-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
And the one before that!: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1877198-Donor-IUI

You're right to do this pickle, I wanted to email the embryologist last week to check all was in order and I thought no let's not bother them I'm sure everything is fine... and you know where that took me!
Be a pain if you have to!
Tomorrow the manager is going to read my angry email from Friday night, threatening to complain to the HFEA and demanding compensation. That will be interesting 😖

So my period coming in just now on Mother's Day shows just how sick the cosmos's sense of humour is. Cant actually stop crying.

Thanks for all the positive messages You all have more faith in me than I do at the moment!

Taydex - yes LittleShoes is resolutely breech. We've got 2.5 weeks for him (I'm convinced it's a 'he'...) to turn before I see my consultant at 36 weeks and a decision will be made, but even when there's lots of wriggling going on baby never moves far and then resumes position of head digging into my ribs so its really not looking likely! My consultant wants to try ECV (turning the baby) but with only a 40% success rate for first babies I don't think its worth the risks.

Argh cross-post. Stork - I'm sorry that's really tough.

Give yourself a chance to be upset about this cycle, and then pick yourself up and plan your next step. You will get there

Hi Shoes

They tried to turn my DS twice and even though it hurt I let them try again as I really wanted a natural birth. Consultant at time said he couldn't understand why he wouldn't turn as he was an average size 7 to 8lb baby. 8 days after he said that he was born by planned section weighing in at 10lb 2oz!!!! That's some growth spurt or the Consultant was clutching at straws!!! Can't say anyone ever told us those statistics though, I ended up being monitored for a bleed 12 hours later. If you're happy enough with a section I wouldn't try personally but that's just from personal experience xx

Oh my darling stork I'm sorry. Life really is a bitch as u say Mother's Day too,extra kick. Sending lots of love and cuddles xxxxxx

TTC - thanks for sharing your experience on this. My feeling is that there could be a reason why baby is always this way up (cord wrapped around or something like that) so I don't like the idea of trying to force him to turn as he's clearly not distressed where he is (heart-rate always good etc.). I'd worry that the ECV could turn into a cascade of traumatic things for either baby or me ending in emergency CS anyway. Much better to plan to do a CS in a more controlled way!

Oh Stork, I don't know what to say, this is so hard 💐 but this isn't the end, you will bounce back. I'm so sorry for you and what an awful time to find out too, nobody deserves this. I so wish we could do something xx

Thanks guys, you don't know how much I appreciate it.

The first time I was absolutely fine, but this time has knocked me. I think it's because of what it means. Three embryos implanted, and none have taken.

So do I go again with my own eggs, for one more try? Or do I give up on it and do egg donation or embryo adoption? £14k in, and next step is £7k regardless....

Hey Shoes,

Somehow I didn't find out bubs was breech until about 35 weeks. I have no idea how I got that far with midwife appointments every 2 weeks before someone mentioned it! So, once we found out I tried everything to encourage her to turn (I can dig out the links if you want, or Google "Spinning Babies"). I went in for ECV at 37 weeks and they managed to get her turned half way but then she wouldn't go any further and wouldn't go at all the other way. I was told it was 50% success rate, and would say it was uncomfortable but didn't hurt. They offered feet first natural delivery or c section, but were clearly encouraging me to go for c section. I feel it all happened a bit quickly and didn't feel in control, and almost like I'd revised for the wrong test.

However, I have to say, I am soooo glad I had the planned c section. I've heard lots of not great stories from the antenatal mums about their vaginal births and honestly think I dodged a bullet. With the planned c section I got to choose the date (we went for 39+1 day, which was 20 October. We just liked the date). That meant we got to meet little 1 week early (possibly up to 3 weeks early if she'd been late), knew the exact day it would happen so could plan for it (get dogs babysat etc), went in at 7am and she was born by lunchtime. I have a massive list of other advantages if you would like to hear more. Long and short of it it please don't worry, planned c sections are very controlled, recovery is quite quick as they can take their time and don't have to rush like an emergency/crash section. I would definitely opt for a planned section over vaginal delivery any time.

Stork - it seems a bit of a leap to me for you to go to egg donation after only two attempts.

Have you had blood tests to check your clotting and blood flow? These are things that could affect your embryos being able to implant fully (if any of them had implanted you would have started producing HCG). Your GP may well be willing to run these tests for you.

Was it the same donor both times? If yes, a change of donor might be worthwhile.

Do you have a follow-up appointment booked with your clinic this week?

Taydex - I'm just going to see if I can excavate the thread you set up a while back...

Shoes - amongst the things I tried was this!!! Yep, crazy I know! I understand your reasons for not wanting ECV. I kind of wish I had chilled out and not worried about trying to get little turned in those last few weeks.

YY I spent much of my last week bouncing on a birthing ball trying to get him to turn. Like you say Shoes there may be a reason for s/he being breech, mine was cos there was literally no room for him to move!!

I still remember vividly nearly 6 years later the Consultant who was performing the section (I had never met him at this point) coming over to my bed. I had my hand on my bump just below my enormous boobs and he said I need to do a final ultrasound to check he's still breech. I replied he is, I've got my hand on his head to stop him head butting my ribs. He was a bit

I've got a bad hip which is a bit limiting for such acrobatics

I've looked at the spinning babies website. Problem is at the moment with my hip most of the exercises are beyond me and with no one to help me if it all goes wrong I might end up stuck upside-down or something!

Shoes - here's the link: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2814960-IUI-IVF-success-Graduates-from-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-thread-itcanwork-weareproof?watched=1&msgid=67872487#67872487

Personally if I were in your position with hindsight I would have just relaxed and enjoyed my last few weeks of pregnancy rather than worrying about (and stressing out) trying to turn bubs.

Thanks Taydex - I've found it and posted a moany witter there.

All things to discuss on my follow up shoes which isn't booked yet as this happened at 9pm. It's going to take me another 4-5mths to save up for another round anyway, so I'll be 39.... A change of donor is now called for, yes. Re the tests, I don't think clotting and blood flow are checked for ivf? And no, GP will check nothing! (The rats!)

Off to bed to sleep off this crying jag. Xxx

Stork gutted for you that it didn't work this time and what horrible timing to find out

Twice doesn't meant it will never work - that's why some clinic offer three cycle packages, because two often isn't enough. I think shoes is right about follow up to see if they can pinpoint an issue and talk you through possibilities.

If they thought they could get you through a cycle and have sufficient embryos make it far enough along to get them screened then you could see if that's the problem, but I'm not sure if that's an option, I remember my consultant saying that if they forced it and collected very large numbers of eggs then less tended to be mature anyway. (Although googling for Pez the other day I discovered they can mature them outside you which they do if you're prone to FHSS.)

I guess it partly comes down to money - can you afford to try again and then move on to plan B? I think where we draw the line under one treatment and try something else is entirely personal. You've given it a shot. You could keep trying or you could move on now - what's your gut instinct?

Sorry stork, bit of a cross post. Hope you get some sleep and things look less bleak in the morning xx

stork Hun, I'm so sorry. I know the disappointment. I think more investigation is warranted. I was started on aspirin as a just in case. But for all that you are paying I would ask for some more help. Hugs to you. Hope you get some sleep.

Stork, I'm so sorry lovely. What a huge kick in the bollocks... Today of all days.
I can only agree with/echo what everybody else has previously said. I think this warrants an investigation, because you've paid out a lot and they've left you in the dark a bit, without the full picture.
I do agree with Witch though; twice doesn't mean it'll never work, there's a reason they say "third time lucky"..!!
Hope you manage to get some sleep and that tomorrow looks a little brighter.

Stork sad news. I can only echo what the others say. Big hugs

Thanks guys, really. I value your thoughts.

I think my main issue is that after 28 eggs I'm still left with no Frosties. Now could that be the donor? Sure, so I'll switch him over. I know the FC will say the round went well, and it did, I don't mind going through another short protocol at all, but there doesn't seem to be anything to actively change.

witch I wish to god I knew what my gut was telling me. I see these as the options:

1. stick with current fc and own eggs and change donor.
2. move fc to Cyprus and Spain and do treatment as a little holiday!
3. move fc to Cyprus or Spain, change donor, use donor eggs. Both anonymous
4. move fc to midlands clinic look at embryo adoption.

I think my gut is saying go one more time with my own eggs but with a new donor.

Love to all.

kwick which is the Spanish fc you are looking at? Thx