I’d agree, it’s like the rose tinted spectacles come off post menopause 🤷♀️🤣
I divorced after 30 years, in mid fifties.
I don’t like some aspects of being single- having builders round currently terrifies me, as do any matters relating to trade work. i have Ben taken advantage of- I know. I miss having someone to validate decisions or issues. I find I do more “ can’t be arsed” rather than making effort…and I miss having someone to converse with re banility of life …like,right now, just how shit labour policy is…
but, that is very different than going back to living with a bloke. The downsides of my marriage were horrendous (abuse), and as I get older I just see more of men’s disrespect for women. Generally. If they don’t fancy you as you’re “ old” then they can just be rude. Older Men always look for younger partners, and I:not about to take on another man who expects me to meet his increasing needs as he ages . It’s the old stats around married women dying younger with more health issues vs married men living longer in better health. No way am I getting sucked into that again.
i enjoy having control of my own life. But then I’m financially comfortable and in today’s world that means I’m pretty lucky, and can avail myself of the choices and opportunities that provides. If I didn’t have that, I guess costs and risks of living alone would factor in.
i don’t think one state is better than other, though, just it changes with time. I’d always say to younger women, marry before having children- for legal and financial protection. but as a now early 60s, I’ve long done with intimacy and sex. Thought of it is a turn off. I guess I’m a trendy “ asexual”. BUT, I’m not naive enough to suppose that’s necessarily healthy. Isolation is a killer as we age too.