Anyone so put off by marriage and living with a man that they plan on remaining single for the rest of their lives?!

[BlueTeaCups]

Planning on leaving DH after a toxic marriage where I know we would be both much better off in the long run.

The thought of meeting and sharing my life/living with another man fills me with horror!

Has anyone got divorced with no plans on basically EVER dating again? Are you much happier? I am used to living with someone and coming home after work chatting about my day, if anything goes wrong in the house it’s not just up to me and I do like having someone to share a meal with and watch a show together but I can’t imagine ever doing that again after divorce?

Not through divorce , but my dad died quite young and mum was widowed at 49 . She has never remarried or even dated anyone else .
Not because she was heartbroken , but because she found out she enjoyed being single , having her home to herself and being able to do what she wants .

I think this is increasingly common, not just with women. Several of my daughters male friends don't date and are quite happy on their own. You'll get lots on here who've had enough of marriage etc. Fortunately women can still have a family even on their own.

Yes me.
I was in a relationship/married (two men) from age 17-49.
I have now been divorced for almost 9 years and would never ever bother with men again.
Being single has a few disadvantages but the advantages easily outweigh them.
Having my own place, making my own decisions, not having to pander to someone else, no mess, my finances are my own. All fabulous.

I have had a mix of being single then lived with someone for a short while. Now single again. Have kids though. But I would never live with anyone again so much happier on my own. It just felt like another pressure for me .

For me I don't want to get touched or sat close to unless it's one of my kids. I don't want to talk . I don't want to cook him dinner . I don't want him in my personal space I love the quite I feel content.

I think you will find a lot of women who have had similar experiences. I have personally decided that for now I am happier without a relationship with a man. I haven't had one that is fulfilling enough to warrant the effort and time let alone the heartbreak that they leave. I am now happier without the expectations of a relationship being teamwork and don't have the daily feeling I'm pulling someone else through life. Not having to worry they will decide to one day turn your life upside down thoughtlessly is freeing.

I'm in a happy relationship. But if something happened I think I'd stay single or if I did get together with someone I wouldn't be looking to share a house. I'm in my 50s. I wouldn't want to have to get to know someone like that again, but would be happy to date.

You do you 🤷🏻‍♀️
Personally , I am single 9/ 10 years, had no interest in meeting anyone ( kids were younger too though ) & I would like to meet someone now as they are getting older& I have more time for me , but find it difficult to meet someone I get on well with & find attractive..
It’s nice to have company ..
You’re just coming out of a marriage so I can understand you wanting to be single ..
You may always feel like you want to be on your own or you may change your mind , who knows 🤷🏻‍♀️..
It’s early days for you yet to be fair ..

Single 12 years here, with a few summer romances in between.

I don't ever want to live with anyone again, but I do enjoy coffee dates, being part of the single community and when it suits me even casual sex.

Don't want a relationship or to share finances or private space, I do enjoy company from time to time.

I was with my ex husband for 14 years. The marriage ended horribly. I have now been single for 5 years. Largely by choice. I've chosen to focus on my daughter, myself and rebuilding my life on my own. I never say never but I am happy in my single life and my beautiful life with my daughter. I don't have the space or time in my life for someone else. My ex husband hurt me very deeply, and I'm not prepared to move into a relationship which makes me question myself, his love for me and undermines the strength I have built for myself. It would have to be a very self assured and mature man that would compliment, not take from the life I have built and who would want a relationship with a woman who is resolutely and stubbornly independent. Frankly I don't see many men who are mature enough for this. Or certainly not who are single in their 30s. So here I am am, single and happy to be.

47 here, ended it with ex 5 years ago, just me and the kids now (he doesn't see them much)

TBH, I like my space, I like my kids, I like not having to even think about shaving unless I want to, not having to think of anyone else first and being able to make all my own choices.

Every now and then I think it would be nice to have someone to hold hands with, or to hold the other end of the 2x4 when I'm doing something in the garden, but that's just not enough to make it worth going to the effort of starting the search. Plus the kids will be big enough to hold up the 2x4 soon enough anyway.

If I stumbled over the right man then I still wouldn't want to move in/have him move in - I'm a grown, independent adult who can do her own washing, I would want to be with another grown, independent adult who can do his own washing.

Im single and childless been single 10 years and love it.
My last partner when he left i said id stay single for a while to get to know me get to know what i really want.
Ive not bothered with men from then on ive had a few bed friends one night stands but nothing serious as i dont want that.
I never wanted marriage.
I have more fun on my own i love my peace and to do what i please if i want to get on a plan and go away i can without planning and asking anyone.
No guilt if im out late with friends no one calling asking where i am what time will i be back.
No drama.
Holiday my way.
No bloody cooking huge bed all for me no mess no moaning no sex pest.
I could never live with anyone ever again once was enough.

Divorced at 48, met current partner 3 years ago, I'm now 55 and getting married again but really don't want to.

@Hereweka dont get married lovely if you don't want to.

Same as GoldMoon's Mum - I was widowed at 39. Its been a few years now and I've found I like living alone - I can come and go as I please, starfish the bed etc. The thought of sharing my space/life again does not appeal in the slightest.

100%

Married for 21 years to what I realise now was a control freak nutter.

Divorced 15 years and not once have I ever wanted to marry again.

So happy being single.

Why are you then?

Widowed in my early 40s. Tough being a single parent- no EOW, no maintenance.... But I have no intention whatsoever of dating again. Once DCs have left home, I can't wait to live alone and please myself.

Not unhappy in my marriage but if anything did happen to my DH I would just remain single under my own steam.

I'm in a happy marriage and love living with DH. However, if we split up, I'd absolutely want to live alone for the rest of my life. I'd simply prefer it to starting a new relationship and sharing my space.
I think a lot of this is to do with being 50. I think when you're younger, oestrogen makes you want to find a man and settle down. Once those hormones are gone, you just think "Sod that!".

I have no wish to take up with anyone else ever again. It would take an absolutely spectacular human being to change my mind. I am not going to risk being abandoned again.

Not widowed, divorced, but I also love my own space. I've been in another relationship for years but would happily continue to live apart.

Whatever you choose will be the right thing for you but you're only in the planning to leave stages - who knows what life will bring once you start healing? I wish you the best of luck with your new life, wherever it leads you.

Divorced 4 years after 21 year marriage.
Back to being truly happy. Will never date again.
Don't miss anything about being in a relationship.
I do have children though. When they leave home I'll get a dog and a cat.

See I think I would definitely want to remarry, but would be quite picky. I like sharing my life with someone and am lucky enough to do it with someone that does give me freedom to do as I wish, I control the finances so that's not an issue but it would have to be a man like my DH. I couldn't be doing with someone needy.

Me! I did waver once when a man was really keen and I thought well, maybe I should give it a go... wasn't long before he reminded me of all the reasons I hate it. That was about five years ago and I haven't looked back since.

After being in relationships from 17 to 37. I decided to take time out and live for me before considering another relationship.
I'm 58 now and discovered I loved being single I never chose to date again.
The peace,the freedom is unmatched. Like others have said I would never willingly choose to share my home with someone else.
I couldn't deal with having to compromise or consider someone else.