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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Can I be forced into working full time?

229 replies

naturalbaby · 08/12/2024 19:58

I work part time/job share but 12hr shifts on an 8 day rota.

We have 3 teenagers with hectic schedules and it's impossible for 1 parent to manage alone for more than a few days - we agreed to be amicable and flexible and have very little/no childcare support. The reason I'm part time is because of the logistics of the kids schedules, it was very difficult for their dad to manage when I worked full time. He's now saying I'll have to work full time or get a different job. I'm on UC so this makes up for my loss of earnings.
Can I be forced to change my work in the next few months for the financial agreement??
We have a joint mediation session soon and I don't want to waste time so want to make it as efficient as possible so that we can finalise the divorce asap.

OP posts:
Ohnonotmeagain · 08/12/2024 20:04

Well no, you can’t be forced.

however once you split it’s down to you to balance your finances. If your current job, UC and maintenance don’t cover your outgoings then you will either need to cut back on your spending or earn more.

ime the financial agreement will mainly be around housing, unless you have enough shared assets to pay for two houses.

income doesn’t really come into it, unless it’s a case of “you don’t need housing as you can work and buy another” as by brother was told in his divorce.

NorthernGirlie · 08/12/2024 20:07

Once you split UC can make you do more hours if you don't hit their base line for earning

Original poster
naturalbaby · 08/12/2024 20:12

Thankyou. I will return to work full time as soon as our eldest is driving and a bit more independent. UC is just a temporary measure so he could move out and rent somewhere until the house is sold - we can buy 2 smaller houses from the sale with small mortgages.
I was a sahm for 10yrs so can manage my finances and spend very little - it's the kids hobbies/extra curricular activities that is our biggest expense, and bills on an old house which will be sold soon.

OP posts:
Anotherfrozenpizzafortea · 08/12/2024 20:18

Assuming your DC are in school ft the court will expect you to be working full time, or at least working towards it. Extra curricular activities (and ferrying kids to them) are just that, a luxury, and post divorce you will have to manage ferrying the kids about or they will have to make their own way to their activities.

Your future mortgage capacity will be based on an expectation that you will maximize your earnings once the DC are in school full time using childcare to cover out of school hours. You cannot use teenage kids as an excuse to still work part time.

Mrsttcno1 · 08/12/2024 20:20

Can you be forced to work full time- no, however you also won’t be paid to enable you to not work full time. Court will expect you to maximise your income and as you have teens, that means working full time. So essentially you can choose not to work full time but you’re not going to be given any extra £ to fund that decision.

HPandthelastwish · 08/12/2024 20:24

Extra curriculars are luxuries though so will have to go if you can't manage them between you logistically or financially.

A bit different if they were medical appointments or therapies but even then you'd be expected to manage.

UC lets you stay at home until your child is 3 not 17!

Definitelynotem · 08/12/2024 20:25

I wouldn’t personally be okay with only working part time and claiming taxpayer money just to ferry kids to extracurriculars

Coconutter24 · 08/12/2024 20:26

If you can afford a house bills and everything you need to pay for on your current income then you won’t be forced to work full time but if you can’t afford it all then you will have to work full time

napody · 08/12/2024 20:28

What childcare split have you agreed? Can your ex logistically manage 50/50?

LemonTT · 08/12/2024 20:29

The issue for you is that for the purposes of a divorce, it will be assumed that you could work FT. It is that income that will be used to assess your share of marital assets. If you decide not to work FT then your standard of living will be compromised. That could impact on your children’s standard of living as well.

MrsKeats · 08/12/2024 20:31

Definitelynotem · 08/12/2024 20:25

I wouldn’t personally be okay with only working part time and claiming taxpayer money just to ferry kids to extracurriculars

Quite

C8H10N4O2 · 08/12/2024 20:32

Your DH will have to start pulling his weight with the ferrying around instead of assuming you can do it all and reaping the career benefit of having a "default mother".

He can't have it both ways unless he wants to the DC to give up their after school activities, which would make him a bit of a shit dad really.

dhxxx · 08/12/2024 20:37

I thought UC expect you to work 35 hours anyway when you have children over 13? I am surprised you can claim and work part time without them on your back.

Thursdaygirl · 08/12/2024 20:37

Definitelynotem · 08/12/2024 20:25

I wouldn’t personally be okay with only working part time and claiming taxpayer money just to ferry kids to extracurriculars

I was just about to say something similar. Claiming UC to free up time to drive teenagers around is taking the p*ss somewhat

Sassybooklover · 08/12/2024 20:39

If you're working part-time solely because you are required to ferry your teenage children to extra circular activities, and working full-time interferes with that, I can't see a Court going along with that! Your children's activities are not a necessity, they are a luxury. You can work full-time, you choose not too, there's a difference. Once you divorce, in order to live, you may very well need to work full-time. If you can't afford the activities, then they will need to stop. If a full-time job interferes with the children being able to attend, then the activities will have to stop or they make their own way to them.

Jewell25 · 08/12/2024 20:40

Definitelynotem · 08/12/2024 20:25

I wouldn’t personally be okay with only working part time and claiming taxpayer money just to ferry kids to extracurriculars

Exactly. Some people are honestly so entitled.

Motheranddaughter · 08/12/2024 20:40

Why would you think your ex should suppprt you to work part time

Anothernamechane · 08/12/2024 20:40

Can your kids start to make their own way to their extra curriculars? Given they're all teenagers and it sounds like one is almost an adult? What will custody look like? No ultimately he can't make you work full time, but equally he can't be forced to subsidise you working part time either. He will of course have to do his share of child rearing if he's dependent on you doing the childcare he needed you to do while you were full time.

Octavia64 · 08/12/2024 20:46

No you cannot be forced into full time work.

Many people after the divorce find that they cannot make ends meet on part time work and go full time but this is not compulsory and is up to you.

There are circumstances where a court will assume that a spouse cannot work (eg very severe disability) and this will be reflected in the asset split (eg the husband requires 24 hour care due to brain injury but the wife works full time).

The court will assume unless proven otherwise that you are both capable of working full time and the asset split should be as fair as possible.

Obviously fair does not necessarily mean you each get 50% of the house and 50% of the joint pensions and many people trade pension for house or vice versa.

The needs of the children will be a major consideration as presumably both parties will need to house them.

adorablecat · 08/12/2024 20:54

Working full time time is the default assumption for most of us, unless we are elderly or in poor health, or have small children.

PigInADuvet · 08/12/2024 20:58

What's involved with the kids schedules? Is it chosen extra curricular activities, or do you have 3 kids with SEND who need transporting to three different specialist schools? One is essential, the other less so...

C8H10N4O2 · 08/12/2024 21:01

Motheranddaughter · 08/12/2024 20:40

Why would you think your ex should suppprt you to work part time

Presumably for the same reason she went part time - because he expects her to do all the DC related running around and not do it himself.

He can of course sort out all the DC related faffing himself, leaving the OP free to pursue her own income (and pension) just as he has been able to for the past umpteen years.

Chipsandcheeseandgravy · 08/12/2024 21:06

I imagine it's a big shock to the system having to provide for yourself when you've been dependent on your husband for years. Can you find another man to financially support you? That, along with child maintenance from your ex should mean you don't have to work or can reduce your work hours.

Alternatively, just do what most other single parents do and work full time. If the children are teenagers, why can't they get themselves to and from activities?

HardlyLikely · 08/12/2024 21:06

C8H10N4O2 · 08/12/2024 21:01

Presumably for the same reason she went part time - because he expects her to do all the DC related running around and not do it himself.

He can of course sort out all the DC related faffing himself, leaving the OP free to pursue her own income (and pension) just as he has been able to for the past umpteen years.

Show quote history

Or it can be decided that the teenagers need to limit themselves to activities they can walk or get public transport to?

StarrySquawk · 08/12/2024 21:14

Chipsandcheeseandgravy · 08/12/2024 21:06

I imagine it's a big shock to the system having to provide for yourself when you've been dependent on your husband for years. Can you find another man to financially support you? That, along with child maintenance from your ex should mean you don't have to work or can reduce your work hours.

Alternatively, just do what most other single parents do and work full time. If the children are teenagers, why can't they get themselves to and from activities?

Lol.