Ex Partner wants to buy me out - help!!

[brookgreenmum]

Hello all. I was on here some years ago but took a break. Things have changed somewhat, relationship broke down and I'm in a bit of a panic now, looking for opinions really if anyone has had similar circumstances.

Unmarried, together 19 years, two children 17, 14. Separation back in June, he moved out to give me space.

Now he's back in contact, wants to buy me out, reasonable offer about 85% of the actual equity share if we sold it. He paid the mortgage and bills for the whole time and the deposit. House owned jointly 50/50 and I am on the mortgage.

I'm not in a bad position, earn excess of 50k pa, we have approx 200k of equity. I know having the children gives me some power, but the income and equity means I doubt i'll be able to convince a court to stay on till the kids are 18 or so.

Fighting it in court would be at least 15k if I lost according to advice. Friends tell me to fight!

What would people do in this situation? I couldn't go out and buy again in this area, renting is possible. I am really stressed now, losing sleep and hair - didn't think about this tbh, focussed on the kids and thought it'll sort itself out.

Thankyou!

Oh well, you had a good offer & turned it down. Never mind.

What are you going to do when he claims the chunk of the portion for when you have lived there without him and he's paying.

You do know judges take that into account right?

How on earth is it unfair to you?? He put more money in, and has continued to do so whilst you spunk your considerable salary on "living your best life"!!

He deserves a bigger chunk, he literally put it in!!

Are you seriously this dim in real life??

This is why it’s worth accepting his offer now. You will be left with less whatever a court decided as it will cost you both.

If I were you, I would do everything to try and avoid court. It’ll take a chunk of whatever equity you do end up with and drag the process out even longer. I would go back to your ex and have a conversation, be it through mediation or under your own steam, and ask if you can take up the original equity split offered if he allows you to stay until July. Set a date to move out (and stick to it) and spend the next few months actively finding somewhere else to live.

If you act in real life the way you are on this thread, I cannot see the goodwill that he is showing towards you lasting for much longer. Even if his does, the goodwill of family members and friends won’t, which may then make him realise what he is sacrificing for you to carry on living the way you are.

Read the room!!

Every single poster has told you how greedy, delusional and unjust you’re being yet you still keep going!

He was being more than generous with his first offer and you’re going to end up with a lot less which quite frankly you deserve.

'I'm a little worried he is going to try and claim some of the deposit back, leaving me less.'

what makes you think that ?

Oh OP, you seem to be on a very slow journey to accepting the reality of your position - that other posters were pointing out from the start. You’ve held on to the idea you can somehow keep the house to finally accepting you can’t, even until your dcs are adults, and now belatedly realising the posters earlier saying “this is a good deal” weren’t lying.

is his original deal still on the table? Have you looked at rentals near you?

Another thing, he is well within his rights to charge you rent for living in the house while he isn’t - you keep pushing him and there are many ways he can (legally and fairly!) make things more expensive for you.

Listen to the advice you are being given (it’s basically all the same!!), stop dragging your heels and face up to the reality of the situation you have created. Stop with all the ‘what if’s’ and get on with it

He’s also completely entitled to move back in.

If he's talking about taking back some deposit that suggests he's had some comprehensive advice about what's he's actually due. And maybe has some sensible friends who are pushing him. The time where you got to sit in the house he paid for whilst he sofa surfed is done. For goodness sake accept his offer and get it in writing quickly. Look at it this way, you've dragged it out at least four extra months so saved that in rent etc. look at that as offsetting what you think you were due but won't get.

There is another option. It won't give him the clean break he wants, but it might be enough of a middle ground between the two of you to work. You could agree a set percentage split to you of the house now, sa

Didn't realise that posted.

You could agree a percentage break now but not sell/get paid out until youngest is 18, but he stays in the house and you move out and rent. An example could be you get say the greater of what hes offered now or 43% of the value when youngest finishes school, he'd also give you the rental bond money and first month. Then once-over you're no longer tied to the area by the kids you can get your share and use it as a deposit to buy in a cheaper area. You could actually do this in a way now, take his offer, buy near your family and rent it out until you're ready to move there. You could use mediation to discuss if there's any other workable options, but if he stands firm on this I wouldn't go to court over it. Personally I'd take the deal now, but whatever you do don't go to court you'll just ruin your own financial future.

Thanks.

Other option that may be possible. I get my share now, he rents the house back to me at a preferential rate which covers the mortgage or just about. He's kind of happy to do this as he doesn't need the size of house and it turns into am investment. However, there will need to be a formal lease agreement and the bank will need to agree etc. It leaves him to finance another place. I'm a little bit uncomfortable about him now turning into my landlord but let's see.

What?! No!!! He is not going to buy you out, give you your money now, and then rent it back to you for years! So he’ll be trapped in a mortgage for a house he doesn’t live in, will have to pay extra stamp duty if he’s able to get a mortgage for a property for himself (alternatively he’ll be throwing money at renting somewhere else), and will still be tied to you for however long you decide you want to stay in his house. Even if he was willing to do this, you’re going to be wasting your equity on paying his mortgage and will be in a much worse position in a few years time when you don’t have a deposit for a mortgage of own.

Are you taking on board anything 99% of posters are saying to you?!

My goodness - your suggestions just get more bizarre by the week !

YOU don't need a house that size either !!!

I'm sorry to ask this OP but do you have SEN?

You aren't taking anything on board.

So you expect him to tie up his capital in this house, not live in it then rent it at below market value ( he may have to pay tax on the rent as if it were market rate) while he presumably has to pay market rate rent on his own living accommodation

in true mn style, are you on glue ?

Not on glue :-)

Partner has asked to sever the joint tenancy. What does this mean and can I stop him?

It means what everyone has said through this thread - he can force the sale and buy you out. If you can't afford the house you don't get a choice. That way the kids get stability and again you can't argue with that. It's not his responsibility where you end up living. His obligation to you is only to give your share. And you've been given the best offer you'll get anyway. You will not get more by going to court.

But you aren't listening to anyone so you'll end up screwed and out of pocket with your lawyer laughing all the way to the bank.

So I'm with the glue argument.

It means you don't own 50/50 tenants in common. I.e you have your share and he has his. Joint tenancy means you both jointly own 100%.

If he died right now, even though not married, you would become 100% owner, it wouldn't form part of his estate. Same if you died. By severing it changes to for example you both owning 50% independently where upon death the part of the house you own becomes part of your estate and can be left to anyone in your will.

You can't stop him: https://www.gov.uk/joint-property-ownership/change-from-joint-tenants-to-tenants-in-common

Wow. You haven't spoken to a lawyer have you.

At least do yourself a favour and do that. Your ex husband is pressing ahead without you. Which you cannot stop.

This is what we've been trying to tell you, you can't stop him.

This means he’s had good legal advice (and probably a huge wake up call) and is trying to get what is rightfully his. Have you spoken to a solicitor yourself? If not, I would do urgently, get them to explain the implications of this to you and, most importantly, listen to them. You need to accept that the house is going to be sold, whether it’s your half to him or completely to someone else, and work out what you are going to do.

Well it is about time he did take some action, this nonsense has been going on for at least 2 months now.