Tomorrow I move into my own flat.

[CleanShirt]

After being totally abandoned by stbxh back in January, selling the house and living in a friend's spare room since April, my and my little cat are moving into a tiny little flat tomorrow that I managed to buy.

I'm absolutely cacking it about living alone for the first time at 40, but know it needs to be done.

It's been a long road to get here and the support I've received on MN for the last 9 months has been phenomenal. Just wanted to drop this little post to let people know that it's not easy but it DOES get better. There's light at the end of the tunnel!

Good luck in your new home! Once the initial strangeness has worn off I'm sure you will love the life you build for yourself (and your lovely cat 😺). Sending you the very best wishes while you navigate the first weeks in your new place.

Keep reading your last sentence (not the one about loins 🙂) and never forget it! Where there's a will there's a way x

Aw thank you @harlemriver and you always gave me such good advice on the separation thread!

First Friday night... I'm supposed to be tightening the purse strings but I've got a Chinese and a bottle 😂

Congrats on your new home. I've found one I want to move too as well. Exciting but scary too.

This thread is so inspiring! I am contemplating pulling the trigger on my relationship and in absolute terror of the future. This thread is showing me that it's possible. Thank you OP, and I hope you're having a wonderful evening.

@ValancyRedfern please don't feel terror. There are much scarier things in life than leaving a bad relationship and living alone. You can do it.

Oh he’s so gorgeous & handsome. Theyre so much better company than men! Having your own place that’s peaceful & yours is gold. Enjoy your freedom!

How's it going OP? How has this weekend been? 🍾🥂

Been lovely! Had a friend round for dinner yesterday but THAT'S IT - been nice and chilled but I'm going to start a little DIY project soon.

I think I've got all the "firsts" out of the way now which helps.

Great to hear! I'm desperate for a weekend of no socialising - been a busy one for me. I'm overwhelmed and tired. Need downtime with my dogs. Glass of vino for me and a couple of hours chill. Keep us updated!

but I'm going to start a little DIY project soon.

Ooooo, do tell! Is it an outside cat house for your partner in crime?

It was peel and stick tiles which went TERRIBLY. Waiting for some energy to see if I can fix it. The internet lied when it made it look easy!

Congratulations, I hope it is utter bliss.

oh dear

*crosses it off her list of possible jobs to try.

Thought I should add a little update!

My mum visited me for a few nights and it showed that my flat is definitely not suitable for 2 people 😂 but was nice to have her here.

I've been ill since Sunday night and been given antis for tonsillitis today. Finding being alone and ill quite difficult - but I don't think that's too out of the ordinary?

Hoping the antis kick in today, haven't left the flat (except for pharmacy runs) since Sunday night, getting a little lonely and stir crazy!

Hope you feel better soon. Stick the radio on for some background chatter and set up a chair near the window for some fresh air / people watching might help.

I was just wondering about you this morning - hopefully not as weird as it sounds! When I moved into my own place there was an initial buzz of adrenaline as I dealt with all the moving stuff and initial change, and then I had a bit of a crash (I also got sick - first COVID, then norovirus a bit later on). Being sick and alone definitely brings lots of vulnerability, but there is also a lot of empowerment once you make it through. Much like the rest of divorce!

This is the time to be ultra kind to yourself. Whatever you think would make you feel better, do it. Order takeaway, make soup if you feel up to it, subscribe to a new streaming service or download a good book, get a hot water bottle / cosy blanket / snug jumper, turn the heating up. Call people for a bit of support (or hide away until you feel better). Whatever makes you feel a little bit cosy and safe and cared for.

It's miserable being sick alone, but my ex was terrible at looking after me when I wasnt well anyway so I just reminded myself of that and tried to take care of myself as much as I could. I hope you feel better soon!

@harlemriver I agree with you. Although its horrible being ill, I actually prefer it being alone so I can veg on the sofa, cough and sneeze without sideways glances from someone. Medication will kick in soon enough and you will be back to work / running about visiting etc. before too long. I yearn for a duvet day, but don't want to be ill with it. Get better soon x

@CleanShirt I get where your nan is coming from- if I was ever on my own again and I'm 62 now- that's my view too .

oooh and dont worry, the DIY projects will be there for when you are better @CleanShirt 😀

Thanks all. Deffo a crash @harlemriver! I haven't registered with the GP yet but luckily my local pharmacy is super helpful.

This is the longest I think I've ever gone on my own in my life!

@muggletops I have a pile of peel and stick tiles just waving at me from the corner. Today isn't the day!

A little update... My first beer of my first solo holiday.

So outside of my comfort zone and I'm nervous as hell, but determined to relax and enjoy myself!

Wowser what a great picture. Is that Greek beer is it called Alpha? I can't drink alcohol but I love Greece and that logo brought back my gorgeous summer holiday!
You are a superstar OP. Random Internet stranger totally impressed!

Well done! Enjoy your holiday!

Thank you random internet stranger! 😂

It is! I knew I wanted to come to Greece because the people (and food) are so lovely. I'm totally daunted and overwhelmed by it but keep reminding myself I won't get a holiday if I wait for other people to be available.