Tomorrow I move into my own flat.

[CleanShirt]

After being totally abandoned by stbxh back in January, selling the house and living in a friend's spare room since April, my and my little cat are moving into a tiny little flat tomorrow that I managed to buy.

I'm absolutely cacking it about living alone for the first time at 40, but know it needs to be done.

It's been a long road to get here and the support I've received on MN for the last 9 months has been phenomenal. Just wanted to drop this little post to let people know that it's not easy but it DOES get better. There's light at the end of the tunnel!

Hope today goes well for you OP.

The day I moved into my rented flat after I left exH I cried all day. But after that it was amazing. My space, my things, my music, my food and nobody else to run round after. It was incredibly healing, despite having no money and, for a while, sitting on garden chairs.

Congratulations, op!
That little flat will be your happy place.
🌷🌷🌷
(love the wise words of Nan)

What is it about 4am for cats? Mine get shut downstairs overnight if I can find them, but they often hide somewhere only to reappear at 4am.

Good luck OP, hope you can have some nice food and drink to relax and celebrate.

This! I 'escaped' and moved in to mine a year ago. I love it. Clean and tidy and how I want it.

Freedom.
Good luck!! Your cat is beautiful.

Hope you have a lovely first evening in your very own place tonight. I've been through this too and there is SO much happiness to be had once you're settled. So brilliant you have your little cat with you (who is gorgeous). Good luck today! We are all behind you!

Congratulations OP and your lovely little cat, what an exciting new chapter in your lives!

I know it will feel weird at times, but just think of the peace when you walk in the door, and

Option 1:
shoes off, jammies on, and settling down with your dinner and a glass of wine, knowing that it's all yours and all safe. And and AND, it's starting to get autumnal now so you can soon add a crackly candle (the Woodwick ones are great for this) and a fleecy blanket so you can just snuggle in, in perfect peace. Bliss!

Or option 2:
get changed and off you go out again - to meet up with friends, or go to a Salsa class, or to Italian classes, whatever whatever - the choice is all yours and you don't have to consider anyone (except the little ginger terror of course!)

Good luck and what a beautiful cat you have😍

wishing you all the best. It will be fine. You'll be fine. It will all be ok. You can do this.

Hi OP, I have been thinking of you and sending good vibes your way since I read this thread yesterday. This thread is the first thing I checked this morning, after feeding grumpy cat and the 3 foxes in my garden who think I am running a 24 hour free kitchen!
Like other posters I am so excited for you and your gorgeous cat.
You will have such a fantastic autumn and winter, think of all the lovely things you can do, like watch all 14 series of Death in Paradise and listen to your playlists really loudly! Or actual things you want to do!
Please update us if you feel like it.

Oh wow, thanks so much everyone, you're making me a bit emosh!

Van is (hopefully) coming at 10, the cat is outside having his last taste of freedom for a couple of weeks and I'm wondering how the hell all my stuff will get into a 1 bed flat. But I can do this!

Congratulations. And that's one beautiful boy you've got 😻

I bought my own flat after divorce I'd been married 23 years and only ever lived with parents then exh. I was terrified and excited at same time, I love my little flat, it's my safe space and is the best thing I've ever done! I love DIY now and surrounding myself with my taste in decor and not having to consult with anyone. I've remarried but kept my "little palace" it makes me feel safe to have it. My little dog had moved home 4 times by the time I got my flat he was only a year old when I left exh and we moved from one rental to another while I waited for the divorce settlement so it has been lovely being settled somewhere. Enjoy OP

Today will be a happy and exciting day for you and puss, I hope you find peace and happiness here, best wishes for the future, enjoy 👍

What a lovely update.
Hope you have a wonderful time making it feel like home.
I think my favourite thing about being single (Still have 3 DC though) is no more constant loud sport and game shows and other drivel on TV all the time. My DC and I don’t bother with TV so I bought one of those Samsung Art TVs and I have a changing gallery of beautiful art on the wall and SILENCE.
Enjoy your own peace whatever that is to you.

Your cat will be fine OP they adapt really quickly. My cat was 20 when I moved across country from east to West after my divorce, first into rented and then into the home I bought. All she cared about was being with me.

@CleanShirt
Well done!
You're going to have a busy day but remember today is the first day of the rest of your life 💗
If all your stuff doesn't fit in your new flat have a good sort out, sell, donate or bin.
Post a photo tonight of your delicious cat and your M&S tray full of goodies as you celebrate your new life.
Don't worry about your cat, he'll soon settle in, he's got you, that's all he needs ❤️

I'm in the initial storm of this right now so reading your posts gives me hope. I've been lied to for what I now know is years. 2 days after he left without warning, found out it was another woman. My dog got diagnosed with a degenerative condition yesterday which is going to cost thousands to manage. As I'm on one income now, I don't know if I can afford to give her the life I want to. This is my first weekend since he left after 20 years together. A couple of months after my dad dying. And I got dumped by email. Unbelievable. Good luck to you OP xx

Good luck today OP - you'll maybe wobble in the next week or so but just remember how happy you can be in the future, with a purring fur baby by your side!

@Wombat8 how awful. Emotional pain is as bad as physical pain IMHO, you too will find a way - hugs to your poorly dog. Could family possibly help with that?

God I really feel you, I was exactly where you are 9 months ago. It's a cliche but time really is the best healer. Make sure you're kind to yourself and surround yourself with good people xx

I’m so sorry - wishing you strength to get through and happiness on the other side. He sounds awful 😔😔

I'm in. Feeling tired and emotional and already a little scared at facing the next few days alone - but it's the first time, and I've discovered this year that firsts are always the worst!

My boy did very well in the car and has eaten a little and used the litter tray already! This is the current state of affairs tho 😂 he's already tried to get out of the window.

I was helped today by a friend who has recently separated and it's made me realise just how fucking strong women are.

Lying on my new, man free bed with a beer watching TV (I was never allowed a TV in the bedroom) and trying to remember that this is all for the best - stbxh obviously wasn't the man I thought he was and rather now than 10 more years down the line.

Thank you for all your support. I'll keep coming back to this thread as I really hope it helps someone else (and I'm sure there's a few wobbles on the way!).

Fantastic news OP. 🎉🥂Welcome to your new home and the start of a fantastic new life for you and your lovely cat.🥰 Best wishes xx

When you feel lonely pop the radio on or a podcast, it's very simple but just have another adult voice wittering on is surprisingly comforting.

Yes or audiobooks, very peaceful

Congratulations OP!
Just think of all the lovely cosy nights in a home decorated exactly how you want it, watching what you want wherever you want, and with a cat companion 🤗
No dealing with other people's mess/moods and complete control who over who comes into your home. Sounds bloody lovely!
My sister had a dreadful break up at 50 - she's 60 now and would never even consider living with a man again! She absolutely loves her own space.
Hoping you soon feel warm, contented and safe in your new nest 😁x
p.s. Nana sounds like a bit of a legend 💪

Amazing news! Well done.👏 And yes women are blooming amazing when they are faced with such challenges, be proud of how far you've come.