Locked out

[Joke14]

My wife as changed the locks on the house even though I am the sole owner and pay the mortgage not her is this allowed

Think this is a wind up

@Joke14 Are you married? Then yes.

I asked too see the children she said only through a solicitor

Then everybody has been guilty of common assault! And in this situation the police should have arrested both of them.

So find a solicitor.

I wished it was it's a nightmare

Stop paying the mortgage to pay for legal advice. I’m sure your wife will pick up the mortgage payments now she has sole benefit of the property and will benefit from the sale.

Ok I will try that

Ok rather than being judge and jury, I'm just gonna say this. The answer is no she can't just change the locks but given that if you go near her the police will likely be called and you will be arrested again you probably shouldn't.

You can't afford a lawyer so you likely can't afford court either.... your options are limited but the law Is on your side, if you were able to fund it.

You could try and sell it with her in it, that's probably what I would do and it may get her talking about the plan ie her share but I don't know how legal that is. Given its in your sole name I would think it's possible.

Why are you renting somewhere else if there are no restrictions on you being in your home? You need to return to the house if there are no bail restrictions, take someone with you so there is a witness to any complaints. There is no legal aid for divorce unless there is a proved domestic abuse case. You both need to understand the implications of separation - it will be costly and the more you argue rather than negotiate it will cost you more. The longer you stay out of the house, the more you weaken your position. If you can get an appointment for you both to go to mediation that would be money well spent. It will help you both get the proper advice and can reduce the overall costs of the divorce. You can be seen separately if it is not possible for you to talk in a room together. You need to think about what your children are seeing and being exposed to. If you can both put the children first that will mean working to protect them from adult conflict.

If you let things drift this will get messy and difficult. It will be better for your children to have a relationship with both their parents and for you both to work out safe ways to do that.

If she's the type to make false allegations, stay away from her. You can push to gain access to the house again, but ask yourself is it worth the risk? You have to go through a solicitor. Don't waste time sending threatening letters back and forth, just go straight for a financial settlement, divorce, and child access arrangements. She can want the house until the children are 18, but it doesn't mean she will get it. The courts will decide. Keep all contact with her to writing (texts, emails, solicitor letters). No phone calls.

I would say go through a legal process in relation to the house and the kids. Just turning up will only cause a scene and I can't imagine that will help you.

@Joke14 if you bought the house before meeting her then it may be that can be taken into account in the settlement. But you need legal advice. Please go to citizens’ advice and see what they say. If only you are named on the deeds you might not need her agreement to sell. Sounds to me like you need to sell up and buy two properties as you have said.

So you were together. You had a shouty argument about her potentially cheating and she called the police and accused you of assault. Police arrested you and released you on bail with conditions not to contact her or go to the house pending further investigation. You went to stay with a friend. Police dropped the case and the bail conditions ended.

She has now changed the locks and refuses to let you see the children.

Is that a good summary? Have I left anything out?

If this is the case - I don’t think focusing on the locks or getting into the house is a good idea. Technically she shouldn’t change the locks and technically you can return to the house. But that’s just very obviously a bad idea. You’ve broken up. She’s accused you of assault. Living together is a bad idea. So even though you technically can go back, you shouldn’t.

You need to take her to court for a CAO so you can see your children. You can self-represent. Going to the house and letting yourself in when you no longer live there is not a sensible or reasonable way to see them.

You also need to start divorce proceedings and get an order to get the house sold if she won’t agree to a sale anyway. You could stop paying the mortgage, and insist she does in lieu of rent to you for “your” half of the house. But if she doesn’t pay it (and it sounds like she wouldn’t be able to?) it’s your credit that’s going to get dinged so might not be the best bet. A court order to allow you to get it sold sounds like a priority, some lawyers will wait for settlement before being paid, see if you can find one. Another alternative might be to release a bit of equity from the house or see if you can get a mortgage holiday, to pay your legal bills and get yourself set up to rent. Not sure how easy that would be with you no longer resident in the house, but since you have a lot of equity it might not be too difficult. If you do this, I would keep track of what you spend that money on so it isn’t seen as you trying to hide assets in court at a later date.

Without a court order, you normally need the agreement of every adult living in the house that they will move out when it’s sold, otherwise you aren’t selling with vacant possession and hardly anyone will touch it.

I am on minimum wage I pay the mortgage child maintenance plus rentwere I live now i have no spare money at all

Minimum wage must have gone up!
In future go play on the incel boards, you will get the answers you want.

DO NOT DO THIS!! That is such bad advice not just for the OP but also for his children. Do not default on paying the mortgage ever.

You could ask for a payment holiday and use that money for a one off consultation with a solicitor. After that consultation you can decide which path to take, including whether to do mediation. A solicitor can accept a payment plan, usually you pay so much a month but be careful with this as it could eat into the profit of the house.

If you are in England or Wales you can only get legal aid in cases of DV so it depends where OP lives whether he or his wife can access it but I doubt it.

You could try and sell it with her in it, that's probably what I would do and it may get her talking about the plan ie her share but I don't know how legal that is. Given its in your sole name I would think it's possible.

It is not legal. At all. He either needs her agreement or a court order. It doesn't matter if it's only in his name as they are married, therefore it is also jointly hers.

OP, a one off consultation price can vary a lot so call a few solicitors to find out how much. Mine was £200 but some were offering around £150.

@LittleGreenDragons Ultimately he is entitled to half of the equity though. So ex-wife will either have to buy him out or sell.

Agreed Hello. (or at least a proportion of it, 50% is only a starting point). But he can't just legally sell it by himself. In this situation he really needs a solicitor's advice even if it's just for the one hour. He needs to find that money somehow.

You really need professional advice.

The police is a double edged sword. If they have made a false criminal allegation against you maliciously, you should make a formal complaint to the police. I would also ask the police how you can move back ‘safely’ and not just get the police called again.

You really also need a divorce solicitor. I would strongly advise you ask the mortgage company what your options are for a payment holiday and use that to fund the legal advice. I can’t see that being a problem given how much equity you have.

Her staying in the house until the children are 18 and you being forced to live with a mate is total fantasy.

Not only that but if she starts paying the mortgage she may be able to claim some rights to the house

She already has rights. They are married. It is a joint asset.

Yes. The fact that the OP pays the mortgage is irrelevant

This is why women are well advised to insist on marriage prior to having children. Well, unless they have a lot of financial assets themselves.

He should not pay the mortgage for a mortgage for a month. The wife is there and won’t let him in. She can pay the bloody mortgage.