I need help…completely broken…separating from husband

[Broken12]

3 days ago my husband admitted he wasn’t working on our relationship anymore. A year ago he told me he didn’t know why but he wasn’t in love with me anymore but wished he could be. We’ve tried for a year (well he says he has). We’ve had counselling. I said I can’t carry on without hope so it’s over.

I’ve asked if there’s anything we can do to stop this happening but he’s said no. Married for nearly 6 years, together for 15 and a 1 and 4 year old. We’ve told our families now so it is real.

I just don’t know how to survive. Im completely broken. We had the perfect life on paper, all we ever wanted. But it’s not enough for him. We had a difficult few years conceiving our 2nd and 2 miscarriages but we got there. I’ve asked him to move out as I can’t bear seeing him every day knowing I can’t be with him. He won’t go until we’ve looked at all our options re the house and decided should we sell or who should move.

I’ve stopped talking to him unless it’s about the kids or our situation. I’m completely broken and struggling to eat and sleep. All I want is to be loved and feel wanted. This is not the life I want. I just don’t know what to do, life was so much easier when I was living in denial.

Plus basically abandoning one of his children while doing the bare minimum for the other two. While telling me his new girlfriend is the one. Knobhead.

Well, tbh a few days after posting that I learned that my son had died, so the issues with my ex just vanished - he's in the ether of the past, now.

Something bigger eclipses the loss, the grief, the anger and fury at the person who could so carelessly toss away his family. It makes you stronger. You will have a moment where if your ex turned up sobbing at your front door, you'd slam it in his face - and good for you. The weak little shit doesn't deserve anything more than what's coming for him in his karma.

You'll get new friendships, perhaps a promotion and a new way of living and it will take you somewhere where you may have not been able to travel in life, but for your ex.

@Spooky2000

Sending lots of un MumsNetty hugs
xx

I’m so sorry to read this x

@Spooky2000 I am so sorry to read your son has died. Do you want to talk about him and what happened? There is a bereavement topic if you want to post there and you can name chance if that would help. My sincere condolences.

I've heard today that my ex has had an angina attack and been to hospital. Too much exercising he thinks. He had a heart attack five years ago. Not sure how serious this is.

I’m sorry to hear this. Imagine it’s difficult to know how to feel? X

You're the second person to say they are sorry so I should feel bad for not being sorry. I'm only bothered from the point of view of supporting my kids if he was to get seriously ill or die. I'm not bothered what happens to him.

You should not feel bad at all

I'm wondering why he's doing what he's doing when he has a new girlfriend and also what she thinks about it. She fairly recently widowed.

Thank you. I posted in Bereavement at the time as there are a lot of issues between my eldest and I which IMO relate to his passing, which I grant you aren't entirely fair on her.

However, I didn't mean to hijack your thread! 😁

As for your ex having an angina attack - karma, baby. Karma. Wonder how new woman will feel about taking care of a sick guy going forward? 🤔

@Spooky2000 im so sorry. You're high jacking the thread, btw. It's for anyone who wants to join in no matter what they want to talk about.

I've also been wondering what the girlfriend is thinking. She was divorced then widowed last year. I hope she's not expecting to be in his will.

Can I just say, I think a word was missed out of the reply above me.
I am very sure the word is ' not '

so Spooky - you are not hijacking the thread.

Oh crap. NOT hijacking

Thank you. I couldn't work out what you meant as was looking for a previous post of yours then I got it.

thank you - NOT hijacking @Spooky2000

that's ok
I didn't tag either of you as didn't want to point it out too loudly.
but I was pretty sure it was a typo on your part.

It was. Thanks again.

@Broken12

It's 2 years later since you started your thread.

How are you ?

Hey!

you know what, I’m great 🙂 And to anyone reading this at the start of their journey, I never thought I’d feel like this again.

don’t get me wrong, I HATE missing time with my kids but when we are together we have the best time. My time is totally there’s and we have the best adventures. I have zero interesting in dating (spent 2 weeks OLD in Summer 2024 and quickly realised I wasn’t ready and had a couple of dates with an old friend Jan 25) and I’m so content.

my spare time is spent doing whatever I want - watching football, seeing friends, reading, binge watching, chores so I don’t have to do them with the kids etc and I have no desire to meet anyone. Maybe that will change, maybe that won’t but it’s not something I care for right now

im happy with my like. I feel free, it’s liberating.

how is everyone else on this thread?

Aw I am so pleased for you.

Did he go for 50/50 ?

No. He’s recently increased to 6/14 nights but when it’s his block of 4 nights I get to see them in the middle in the day time (mom has my youngest at mine) so the most I go without seeing them is 48 hours. Then he has other stuff in so for example I’ve got them the next 3 weekends 🙂

Hurrah! So pleased x

He was never going to step up.

This is great to read @Broken12
What's your relationship with him like now?

Civil. We only talk when we need to and only about the kids. We spend Xmas and their bdays together though - for the kids and they are fine.