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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Can my husband force house sale in divorce?

256 replies

skaw15 · 06/12/2023 11:43

Hi.
I'm currently going through a divorce with my husband. We have a 13yo daughter together, I also have a 19yo son and a 17yo daughter from a previous relationship. My 13yo and my 19yo both live with me in a 4 bedroom house. I have a joint mortgage with my husband, he has moved out and is privately renting a 2bed flat and I currently pay the full mortgage and bills. My husband has our daughter overnight one night a week and once in the week for dinner. He does pay child maintenance.
We have 165k equity in our property, however we purchased it for a low price with no deposit from my family. Could I be forced to sell if I won't buy him out?
Thanks :)

OP posts:
3sausagedogs · 06/12/2023 11:53

My divorce went to court. At the time we had a 2 bedroom house and our kids were 6, 8 and 10. We brought a 2 bed and got planning permission to put another 2 bedrooms on. We broke up before we did the building work but he spent the £60k we had saved for the work. He wanted the house sold and I wanted to stay in it. The judge gave him 8.4% of the gross of our house so I still had to give him £28,000 to buy him out. I also got that deal because I had 3 children and 2 bedrooms I couldn’t downsize and he kept his full police pension. They will always make sure you both end up with 50%.
If you want to stay in the House work out what you can afford to offer him as a buy out. Or work out an agreement where you will buy him out when the youngest turns 18. Go and see a few solicitors, loads offer a free hour and ask lots of questions. You’ll soon get a good idea of what you’ll likely to get x

Getthethrowonthesofa · 06/12/2023 11:56

Yes of course, yoh can’t just keep his half of the equity.

User13579367337 · 06/12/2023 11:59

Well yes. You can’t keep the house for yourself? I’ve heard of cases where the sale has been allowed to be temporarily delayed while the children are still young. That seems to come down to the judges decision on the day though. You need a solicitor to go through your circumstances. Is your ex willing to let you continue to live in it until the youngest child is older?

Original poster
skaw15 · 06/12/2023 12:01

3sausagedogs · 06/12/2023 11:53

My divorce went to court. At the time we had a 2 bedroom house and our kids were 6, 8 and 10. We brought a 2 bed and got planning permission to put another 2 bedrooms on. We broke up before we did the building work but he spent the £60k we had saved for the work. He wanted the house sold and I wanted to stay in it. The judge gave him 8.4% of the gross of our house so I still had to give him £28,000 to buy him out. I also got that deal because I had 3 children and 2 bedrooms I couldn’t downsize and he kept his full police pension. They will always make sure you both end up with 50%.
If you want to stay in the House work out what you can afford to offer him as a buy out. Or work out an agreement where you will buy him out when the youngest turns 18. Go and see a few solicitors, loads offer a free hour and ask lots of questions. You’ll soon get a good idea of what you’ll likely to get x

Thank you.
I have spoken to a solicitor who advise mediation but my husband is very adamant that unless I buy him out he'll take it to court x

OP posts:
Original poster
skaw15 · 06/12/2023 12:03

User13579367337 · 06/12/2023 11:59

Well yes. You can’t keep the house for yourself? I’ve heard of cases where the sale has been allowed to be temporarily delayed while the children are still young. That seems to come down to the judges decision on the day though. You need a solicitor to go through your circumstances. Is your ex willing to let you continue to live in it until the youngest child is older?

He's not willing to defer sale as he's occurred debt with the divorce and solicitors fees. I've not payed towards the divorce but I was told I didn't have too if I didn't want to. He also says he needs his share to move forward. He says I live in a 4bedroom which isn't needed but my son lives with me and although he's 19 is young for his age and my daughter likes the area we live in.

OP posts:
Issummernearlyover · 06/12/2023 12:05

Have you had a realistic valuation of the property? You say you have £165k equity, but it may well be less than that. I've just sold my house at £80k less than valuation and it's only an end of terrace. If you have less equity than you think, it will be easier to buy out his share.

Original poster
skaw15 · 06/12/2023 12:06

Issummernearlyover · 06/12/2023 12:05

Have you had a realistic valuation of the property? You say you have £165k equity, but it may well be less than that. I've just sold my house at £80k less than valuation and it's only an end of terrace. If you have less equity than you think, it will be easier to buy out his share.

Yes that's based on the lowest valuation of the house. We also bought the house for quite a low price from my family.

OP posts:
LemonTT · 06/12/2023 12:08

Yes it is very likely that a financial order will require you to buy him out or sell. You have only one dependant living with you. That means your needs will be defined as a 2 bed property. And if renting is good enough for your ex it is good enough for you.

Based on the information you have provided. Going to court over this issue is ridiculous and he shouldn’t have to take you to court because it is completely unreasonable for you not to release his equity. If the only asset is 165k of equity don’t waste that on a daft legal battle.

tescocreditcard · 06/12/2023 12:09

Yes he can force the sale. To be honest, it would work more in your favour if you went to court sooner rather than later. the closer your youngest is to 18, the less chance you'll have of keeping the house.

Why not just buy him out?

3sausagedogs · 06/12/2023 12:09

Now is a good time to get an evaluation as nothing is selling! And he could buy cheaper! My deal won’t let my ex off the mortgage until my youngest turns 18. But then my eldest will have finished uni and if I don’t earn enough I’ll put her on the mortgage! So they do do lots to protect the children!
nobody will make you homeless so it might be if you downsize he can have some money now and you still own a property x
I feel for you I remember doing mine and it was really hard x

cadburyegg · 06/12/2023 12:10

You need to see a solicitor. You can ask about a mesher order which would mean staying in the house until your youngest hits a certain age. However these are much less popular these days because clean break is often seen as more beneficial in the long term and enables all parties to move on. don't assume that because the children primarily live with you, that you will get all of the equity. Good luck.

Original poster
skaw15 · 06/12/2023 12:10

LemonTT · 06/12/2023 12:08

Yes it is very likely that a financial order will require you to buy him out or sell. You have only one dependant living with you. That means your needs will be defined as a 2 bed property. And if renting is good enough for your ex it is good enough for you.

Based on the information you have provided. Going to court over this issue is ridiculous and he shouldn’t have to take you to court because it is completely unreasonable for you not to release his equity. If the only asset is 165k of equity don’t waste that on a daft legal battle.

We have disclosed all finances on form e with pensions cars income expenditure etc.
i just don't think it's fair when we purchased the house cheap from my family that he should be able to get as much as he's asking for.

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 06/12/2023 12:11

Of course he can op!! He owns half of it.

Original poster
skaw15 · 06/12/2023 12:12

3sausagedogs · 06/12/2023 12:09

Now is a good time to get an evaluation as nothing is selling! And he could buy cheaper! My deal won’t let my ex off the mortgage until my youngest turns 18. But then my eldest will have finished uni and if I don’t earn enough I’ll put her on the mortgage! So they do do lots to protect the children!
nobody will make you homeless so it might be if you downsize he can have some money now and you still own a property x
I feel for you I remember doing mine and it was really hard x

Thank you :)
It's so draining. He's under the impression as I'm overhoused and the amount of equity he can force the sale but my biggest worry is not being able to provide the same again for my children x

OP posts:
3sausagedogs · 06/12/2023 12:12

Nothing in divorce is fair x it’s a really horrible thing to go to court and put your life and home in the decision of a judge, who doesn’t know you or your family x Try and see what you can borrow and what he will except x and find a good kind solicitor!! They are out there!!

BananaSpanner · 06/12/2023 12:13

skaw15 · 06/12/2023 12:10

We have disclosed all finances on form e with pensions cars income expenditure etc.
i just don't think it's fair when we purchased the house cheap from my family that he should be able to get as much as he's asking for.

Show quote history

Why? Presumably you bought it jointly. Whatever the seller decided to sell it you for is a matter for them.

Youre going to have to take further legal advice.

Original poster
skaw15 · 06/12/2023 12:14

cadburyegg · 06/12/2023 12:10

You need to see a solicitor. You can ask about a mesher order which would mean staying in the house until your youngest hits a certain age. However these are much less popular these days because clean break is often seen as more beneficial in the long term and enables all parties to move on. don't assume that because the children primarily live with you, that you will get all of the equity. Good luck.

Thank you. My solicitor seems to think I could get one based on the fact of my daughter and her school being close by and that I can afford to run the house etc but it's all just a minefield. I think we are going to try mediation but unless he gets what he's asking he won't settle

OP posts:
Original poster
skaw15 · 06/12/2023 12:15

3sausagedogs · 06/12/2023 12:12

Nothing in divorce is fair x it’s a really horrible thing to go to court and put your life and home in the decision of a judge, who doesn’t know you or your family x Try and see what you can borrow and what he will except x and find a good kind solicitor!! They are out there!!

Again thank you :)
It's just so much expense with solicitors etc isn't it x

OP posts:
Honeychickpea · 06/12/2023 12:15

skaw15 · 06/12/2023 12:03

He's not willing to defer sale as he's occurred debt with the divorce and solicitors fees. I've not payed towards the divorce but I was told I didn't have too if I didn't want to. He also says he needs his share to move forward. He says I live in a 4bedroom which isn't needed but my son lives with me and although he's 19 is young for his age and my daughter likes the area we live in.

Show quote history

Are your "young for his age" and "strong preference for the neighborhood" young adult "children" actual offspring of your soon to be ex? Or are you just expecting him to provide for them?

Original poster
skaw15 · 06/12/2023 12:18

We did purchase the house jointly however if it wasn't sold to us so cheaply from my family we would never of been able to afford to buy!!
I was looking after the children so wasn't working at the time we purchased however now I work a hard full time job to provide for them and it's a good job I do as he doesn't pay for the house I do!

My only child with my husband is 13,
My son is a previous relationship.

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 06/12/2023 12:19

I think you need to put yourself in his shoes a bit here op.
It sounds like he doesn't have a deposit to get a new mortgage. Which the equity would give him.
So he'll have to throw his money away on rent until you feel like selling to give him his money.
In ten years time, you own a 4 bed, he owns nothing.
That isn't fair.
It sounds like there's money in your joint pot to get deposits on 2 x 2 bed properties.

llj13 · 06/12/2023 12:20

arethereanyleftatall · 06/12/2023 12:19

I think you need to put yourself in his shoes a bit here op.
It sounds like he doesn't have a deposit to get a new mortgage. Which the equity would give him.
So he'll have to throw his money away on rent until you feel like selling to give him his money.
In ten years time, you own a 4 bed, he owns nothing.
That isn't fair.
It sounds like there's money in your joint pot to get deposits on 2 x 2 bed properties.

A 2 bed wouldn't fit my needs as I have a 19yo son who lives with me and a 17yo daughter who lives with her dad but may come back.

Surely he should care more his daughters happy?

lartghy421 · 06/12/2023 12:21

Yea he needs/ wants a home for his daughter as well. Regardless what you bought the house for he's entitled to half the equity.

BananaSpanner · 06/12/2023 12:21

Have you been to see a mortgage advisor to see if you could manage to buy him out?

arethereanyleftatall · 06/12/2023 12:21

Also op, be warned. He is not being unfair in what he is asking here. If you fight him all the way, you both stand to lose all the equity you've both worked for all in to courts/solicitors pockets.