Can my husband force house sale in divorce?

[skaw15]

Hi.
I'm currently going through a divorce with my husband. We have a 13yo daughter together, I also have a 19yo son and a 17yo daughter from a previous relationship. My 13yo and my 19yo both live with me in a 4 bedroom house. I have a joint mortgage with my husband, he has moved out and is privately renting a 2bed flat and I currently pay the full mortgage and bills. My husband has our daughter overnight one night a week and once in the week for dinner. He does pay child maintenance.
We have 165k equity in our property, however we purchased it for a low price with no deposit from my family. Could I be forced to sell if I won't buy him out?
Thanks :)

Sheila this is down to society and personal choice though. It's society that says a degree is needed for a good job. It's personal choice to go along with that. Many don't go to university. Many have to get a job and start paying their way as soon as they leave school. Neither option is "wrong", it's just a choice and acknowledgement that not all options are open to all people. Young adults don't have to be a net drain. RP don't have to support that. RP have the same choice to not support a net drain on their finances as NRP do. We all have freedom to live our lives as we see fit. It's unreasonable for one parent to make a particular choice then berate the other parent for making a different choice. If one parent unilaterally decides to continue supporting a young adult, they can't then decide the other parent is wrong for not shouldering that financial burden with them. RP might argue it's morally wrong of NRP, but that's irrelevant and has no impact since nobody can choose another person's morals for them.

That doesn’t make much sense, he is only responsible for his child, any child maintenance for your other kids is to be spent on them. You and their father are expected to pay for them. So it’s moot.

if you were getting benefits then it indicates low income, unless you just mean child benefit, again for the child?

The 90k "discount" you got on the house was effectively a gift from the family member who sold it to you and is irrelevant now. The court will not see that you are somehow due the 90k back when the asset is split.

Your son could always move in with his dad

I'm afraid everyone is right op. Yes he can force the sale and the courts will. It's only fair, the cheap price from your family is irrelevant - he's your husband and your assets are joint. It's horrid but then divorce always is.
I wish you well.

It is horrid but I really think you’ve a big shock coming in court, I would really start to make plans if I was you.

Oh dear
you are in for much disappointment and a big shock op
your expectations are way off

Courts don't care. They won't delay because your DD is 13 or your DS is immature.

You won't be able to plead your case or appeal to the judge. It's not like a criminal case.

It's about laws. If you can buy him out do so. If you can't you will need to sell and purchase another, smaller home that works with your budget.

Courts don't care!!

He will need to house himself from the 'pot' as will you
So the equity split.
He will have to provide evidence for housing need eg a two bed... to buy i presume and what mortgage capacity he will get.

You will have to too.

If court are satified that you buying him out meets his needs and yours and you can afford the mortgage to do that they will tell you to do that.
They dont care that you have been paying the mortgage and if you can't afford what the mortgage will be to buy him out then you will be told to sell it and buy less expensive smaller house.

I would get a mortgage quote to buy him out and take that as a starting point. If you don't want to move but cant afford the full 50% equity in addition to your existing mortgage offer him what you think you can and start from there.
If hes a twat he will fight you all the way for every penny. If he is considering the childrens needs and lifestyle more he might agree to a small compromise to get everything dealt with without a massive and expensive battle.

You are still the primary carer so its reasonable to argue that you need to stay in the area the kids currently live.. whether that be in the current house or a smaller one in the area... get comparables of this to aid negation.

Evidence of mortgage affordability and debt are a good start.

Also it only really matters what its worth now and whats owed.

Op have you spoken to the mortgage company, will they let you take it over on your own, ? Paying it now doesn’t mean they will allow you to be sole mortgage holder, but I guess maybe it’s a low mortgage?

you need to see how much you can borrow to buy him out,but honestly I’d be preparing your son now, look at if you walk away with 50% what can you afford to buy in the area?

What planet are you on?!

Your needs are a two bedroom property. For you and your shared-with-ex-husband daughter. Your ex has a legal obligation towards his daughter's needs.

Your wants are a four bedroom property. To house an additional two children, one who is an adult anyway, one who doesn't live with you anyway - both of whom are not your ex's! You can want whatever you like in life, but you'll have to pay for it yourself.

As those older teenagers aren't even your ex husband's children. He has, and never did have, any legal requirements to provide for them. Instead of being grateful he took on the role of step parent for many years including contributing towards your not-his-children's upbringing, you're berating him for walking away from a financial responsibility he never had for children that aren't his. You're the one who's being unfair.

Whatever decisions your family made about what price to sell a house at and who to sell it to many years ago, that has absolutely nothing to do with your divorce now. It's totally irrelevant, other than to your emotions. Your ex co-owns the house and he wants his share of it to out towards another property for him to live in now you're divorcing, there's nothing unreasonable about that.

Agree you really need to let go of the fact your family sold it to you cheaply, it is not relevant in divorce. You also need to accept the fact you want to provide for your adult children will also not be taken into account.

you need to assume 50/50 as the starting point here, I guess if it goes to court, he will move to this position, his lawyer will advise him to.

To help you understand, if you wished the fact your family sold it to you cheaply to ever be taken into account in divorce, at the time of purchase you’d have signed a legal document allocating ownership , so for example if your family have you 100 k off the price and that was 25% of the value, then you’d have owned 75% and your husband 25%, and that would have been taken into account at the divorce. And you would have got whay you wished.

but as you did not ring fence it, you agreed joint ownership of 50/50 each, that is what a court will apply as the starting positiom

it is unlikely a mesher order will be granted for one 13 year old who only needs to be in a two bed propert, arguably even one bed, as you can sleep in the living room. I’m surprised any solicitor would say otherwise.

How long were you married?

What about other assets? Pensions savings?

To echo everyone else you either need to sell the house or buy him out. His offer seems reasonable as starting point is usually 50 50.

OP you do not need a 4 bedroom house. You may want one but you do not need one. Your ex does not sound unreasonable. He needs his half of the house value in order to move on financially and your needs do not trump his.

Married for just over 10years.
No savings and both have equal amounts in pensions.
He isn't asking for anything other then his share of the house but I still can't understand as the main caregiver to our child why I am not entitled to more of a share when I have to provide more. His maintenance is only £60 a week.

I probably earn slightly more in my job with my overtime.

I appreciate my son is an adult but he helps with my daughter a lot with childcare so would that not go in my favour?

The Vedict is in - OP is delusional and does not realise that Facts do not care about feelings.

He supported you for years and your two other kids (housing-wise as he paid the mortgage himself) yet she thinks it's not fair to give him his fair share(legally owned) because Her family gave them a cheap buy. Good luck saying that in court. I wish I was the Legal rep for your husband.

No of course that doesn’t go in your favour.

in fact you’ve just made his case stronger, if he only pays 60 quid a week, he can’t be a high earner, as such, he needs the money as he says, why are you not paying to the divorce?,

you being resident parent, doesn’t mean you get a bigger house, for the simple reason that could change. All you need is a bedroom for your 13 year old.

You can simply claim child care fee from your husband as far as what he contributes, opting to have your son look after her is neither here nor there.

You can see what the majority are saying and yet you are thinking with your feelings rather than legally recognised facts which are also THE SENSIBLE THING. You should feel lucky and agree to the 40% he is asking rather than 50

“I appreciate my son is an adult but he helps with my daughter a lot with childcare so would that not go in my favour?”

No, why would it?

also, your DD is 13 - what childcare does she need at this point? (Genuine question, you may work on an oil rig or something!)

An oil rig 😂 I would love for this to be the case as it would change everything.

I work a lot of my shifts as night shifts to earn better money so someone needs to stay in the house with her or be able to take her or pick her up from school if I'm not around.

Is there a risk your husband will go for custody then?