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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Can my husband force house sale in divorce?

256 replies

skaw15 · 06/12/2023 11:43

Hi.
I'm currently going through a divorce with my husband. We have a 13yo daughter together, I also have a 19yo son and a 17yo daughter from a previous relationship. My 13yo and my 19yo both live with me in a 4 bedroom house. I have a joint mortgage with my husband, he has moved out and is privately renting a 2bed flat and I currently pay the full mortgage and bills. My husband has our daughter overnight one night a week and once in the week for dinner. He does pay child maintenance.
We have 165k equity in our property, however we purchased it for a low price with no deposit from my family. Could I be forced to sell if I won't buy him out?
Thanks :)

OP posts:
Crikeyalmighty · 06/12/2023 12:39

Divorce often isn't fair OP and makes no allowances for the 'feels' or the circumstances for divorce. It comes down to hard cash and assets or lack of it in some cases.

llj13 · 06/12/2023 12:39

DidiAskYouThough · 06/12/2023 12:38

@skaw15 your replies since your name change are not highlighted as being the OP (original poster), so will be easily missed by anyone clicking 'view all' on your original post, or scrolling quickly to see the colour highlighted OPs replies.

Oh no really? I'm new to this.
How do I change it?

NosamUK · 06/12/2023 12:44

If you and your EX are unable to agreement on a buy out, then he can obtain a court order to sell. It is called a 'forced sale' and if it is concluded as being in the best interest of both parties then the court may grant it(which in your case, it is)

NosamUK · 06/12/2023 12:45

Crikeyalmighty · 06/12/2023 12:39

Divorce often isn't fair OP and makes no allowances for the 'feels' or the circumstances for divorce. It comes down to hard cash and assets or lack of it in some cases.

100% as the saying goes: Facts do not care about your feelings

plumtreebroke · 06/12/2023 12:45

skaw15 · 06/12/2023 12:18

We did purchase the house jointly however if it wasn't sold to us so cheaply from my family we would never of been able to afford to buy!!
I was looking after the children so wasn't working at the time we purchased however now I work a hard full time job to provide for them and it's a good job I do as he doesn't pay for the house I do!

My only child with my husband is 13,
My son is a previous relationship.

I wouldn't keep saying it was bought cheaply. If you bought it from family at less than market rate you may be liable for capital gains tax on the difference.

Sparehair · 06/12/2023 12:45

The problem is that your two dc by a previous relationship are not this ex’s financial responsibility, especially as one is an adult and one lives with her father so isn’t even dependent on you for housing. therefore the judge can’t really take their needs into account when deciding on the split of assets.

NosamUK · 06/12/2023 12:48

I hope you realise that the court will not regard your 19-year-old as a dependent beyond 18 (unless he has special needs), even more so, it's not his.

It is only fair, as I am sure you will understand that if the roles were reversed, you would want your half , considering you are now not in the home, paying your own rent elsewhere etc.

Sfex · 06/12/2023 12:54

I work in this area OP and unfortunately I think you’ve been majorly misadvised if you think 12.5% is fair. I think you also need to stop looking at what is ‘fair’ and ‘right’ morally and legally where you stand.

To clear up some simple legal points -

• The fact that you purchased the house at a reduced price due to family connection is irrelevant and will have no bearing on the eventual equity split that is awarded. As a PP has said, only if the discount was given by way of a deposit contribution that could be ringfenced could that be the case. Ultimately you have a joint mortgage and have contributed equally throughout, therefore are equally entitled to the equity.

• In the eyes of the law you only have 1 dependant, as does he. Your 17 yo doesn’t live with you and your 19 yo is an adult. Therefore you have equal dependant responsibility.

• Given that you only have 1 dependant, you are over housed in a 4 bed property. Consideration will be given to how much a 2 bed property would be in the school area, but likely would be very affordable for you given the amount of equity.

• He has as much right, and need, to a mortgaged property as you do as you have equal dependants.

• You have your dependant the majority of the time so are obviously entitled to support financially with that. That’s what child maintenance is for and he is fulfilling his obligation there. It has no bearing on the equity from the property.

Ultimately OP, if I was acting on behalf for your ExH I would absolutely be advising him to take it to court to force you to sell. If I was acting on behalf of you I would advise you to seriously try and see where you could raise the money to buy him out should you insist on staying in the property.

I will caveat all of this with - it is shit. Morally, it probably isn’t fair. But very little about divorce is ever morally fair. I would strongly recommend you go and see a decent family lawyer specialising in this area if you do want to fight it. Good luck.

Edited to add - the fact that he is currently paying rent on a property will be considered a joint expense until the divorce is finalised, as it will be argued he is being forced to do so due to your unwillingness to release the equity from the property to allow him to buy/pay down a mortgage.

Ellamaelucyolivia · 06/12/2023 12:59

The house is 50% his. What's the reasoning behind not giving him the 50% he's owed?

llj13 · 06/12/2023 13:01

Ellamaelucyolivia · 06/12/2023 12:59

The house is 50% his. What's the reasoning behind not giving him the 50% he's owed?

Because I have his daughter 90% of the time

QueenOfTheLabyrinth · 06/12/2023 13:07

llj13 · 06/12/2023 13:01

Because I have his daughter 90% of the time

Show quote history

You can’t have it both ways OP, you can’t say your 17 year old needs to be taken into account because although she lives with her dad now, that might change in the future but then say you’re entitled to more because your 13 year old lives with you 90% of time as by your own logic, that also might change! It makes no sense!

UrsulaBelle · 06/12/2023 13:09

OP, I had 3 DC, 9,11 and 13 when I divorced my exH and they were all his DC. I kept the house, equity was around £330k, he got all of our savings of £150k, so around a quarter of our assets. I took on the remaining mortgage and got a share of one of his pensions. This was because his earnings were 10x mine at this point (stupidly I'd been a SAHM to our DC, one with SN for 10 years and by then worked term time only) so he could afford to buy himself a house with the OW. I also got the CMS minimum maintenance.

I think I actually did much better than many of my friends in similar circumstances. I guess I still had the 3 children to support for at least 9 years and had 'sacrificed my career' for his.

You need a shit hot lawyer.

NosamUK · 06/12/2023 13:12

llj13 · 06/12/2023 12:23

Not yet as I feel what his asking for isn't fair. He's expecting around 42% of the equity, I have offered him 12.5%

Show quote history

how did you come to this figure?

Smellslikesummer · 06/12/2023 13:12

llj13 · 06/12/2023 12:20

A 2 bed wouldn't fit my needs as I have a 19yo son who lives with me and a 17yo daughter who lives with her dad but may come back.

Surely he should care more his daughters happy?

Show quote history

As harsh as it sounds, your DC from a previous relationship are not for him to worry about, especially as the one living with you is over 18.

Do you really think it is fair that he is paying for you and his daughter to live in a 4-bed house + paying rent on a 2-bed flat?
Realistically, the house will be sold (to you or to a third party) and you will both have money to either rent or put a deposit on a 2-bed.

CharlotteRose90 · 06/12/2023 13:16

He only needs to pay for the children that are his. So you need a 2 bedroom and if you need room for your third dc then their dad needs to step up. Doesn’t matter if you bought the house from family it’s a 50/50 split. You can’t pay him peanuts because the house came from the family. It is jointly yours and his now and that’s all that counts.

NosamUK · 06/12/2023 13:16

UrsulaBelle · 06/12/2023 13:09

OP, I had 3 DC, 9,11 and 13 when I divorced my exH and they were all his DC. I kept the house, equity was around £330k, he got all of our savings of £150k, so around a quarter of our assets. I took on the remaining mortgage and got a share of one of his pensions. This was because his earnings were 10x mine at this point (stupidly I'd been a SAHM to our DC, one with SN for 10 years and by then worked term time only) so he could afford to buy himself a house with the OW. I also got the CMS minimum maintenance.

I think I actually did much better than many of my friends in similar circumstances. I guess I still had the 3 children to support for at least 9 years and had 'sacrificed my career' for his.

You need a shit hot lawyer.

I wish all women would read your story before having kids/sacrificing careers for the sake of relationships etc. As a man, i would not even wish my partner to quit her job. 50/50 in all aspects for me works

SheilaFentiman · 06/12/2023 13:17

He has reflected the fact you have your DD more with the 42% proposal. You might be able to negotiate that to 35-40%, say, but unlikely to be 12.5%

Whataretheodds · 06/12/2023 13:17

skaw15 · 06/12/2023 12:18

We did purchase the house jointly however if it wasn't sold to us so cheaply from my family we would never of been able to afford to buy!!
I was looking after the children so wasn't working at the time we purchased however now I work a hard full time job to provide for them and it's a good job I do as he doesn't pay for the house I do!

My only child with my husband is 13,
My son is a previous relationship.

Is henlookfor more than a 50% split of the equity in the property? If not then how can you think that's unfair? You bought it together.

What are you proposing as a fair outcome?

Morewineplease10 · 06/12/2023 13:22

It can't go to court until you've attempted mediation anyway.

Tell the stubborn arse that!

If he is the illness being inflexible and unwilling to discuss he will be viewed unfavourably in court.

NosamUK · 06/12/2023 13:24

Sfex · 06/12/2023 12:54

I work in this area OP and unfortunately I think you’ve been majorly misadvised if you think 12.5% is fair. I think you also need to stop looking at what is ‘fair’ and ‘right’ morally and legally where you stand.

To clear up some simple legal points -

• The fact that you purchased the house at a reduced price due to family connection is irrelevant and will have no bearing on the eventual equity split that is awarded. As a PP has said, only if the discount was given by way of a deposit contribution that could be ringfenced could that be the case. Ultimately you have a joint mortgage and have contributed equally throughout, therefore are equally entitled to the equity.

• In the eyes of the law you only have 1 dependant, as does he. Your 17 yo doesn’t live with you and your 19 yo is an adult. Therefore you have equal dependant responsibility.

• Given that you only have 1 dependant, you are over housed in a 4 bed property. Consideration will be given to how much a 2 bed property would be in the school area, but likely would be very affordable for you given the amount of equity.

• He has as much right, and need, to a mortgaged property as you do as you have equal dependants.

• You have your dependant the majority of the time so are obviously entitled to support financially with that. That’s what child maintenance is for and he is fulfilling his obligation there. It has no bearing on the equity from the property.

Ultimately OP, if I was acting on behalf for your ExH I would absolutely be advising him to take it to court to force you to sell. If I was acting on behalf of you I would advise you to seriously try and see where you could raise the money to buy him out should you insist on staying in the property.

I will caveat all of this with - it is shit. Morally, it probably isn’t fair. But very little about divorce is ever morally fair. I would strongly recommend you go and see a decent family lawyer specialising in this area if you do want to fight it. Good luck.

Edited to add - the fact that he is currently paying rent on a property will be considered a joint expense until the divorce is finalised, as it will be argued he is being forced to do so due to your unwillingness to release the equity from the property to allow him to buy/pay down a mortgage.

Edited

" the fact that he is currently paying rent on a property will be considered a joint expense until the divorce is finalised, as it will be argued he is being forced to do so due to your unwillingness to release the equity from the property to allow him to buy/pay down a mortgage"

BRAVOOOOO

llj13 · 06/12/2023 13:25

He has actually invited me to mediation. His not asking for 50%, around 40-42% and a clean break. I just don't think it's fair as I didn't work due to having children and then studying and this is also about my childrens inheritance and future. I think no more then 20% is more than fair!

NosamUK · 06/12/2023 13:26

Morewineplease10 · 06/12/2023 13:22

It can't go to court until you've attempted mediation anyway.

Tell the stubborn arse that!

If he is the illness being inflexible and unwilling to discuss he will be viewed unfavourably in court.

"Tell the stubborn arse that!"

If you think the OP isn't the stubborn one for not realising that 12.5% is shit and unfair and refusing to sell or buy out, you def have had too much wine like your username suggests.

SheilaFentiman · 06/12/2023 13:28

llj13 · 06/12/2023 13:25

He has actually invited me to mediation. His not asking for 50%, around 40-42% and a clean break. I just don't think it's fair as I didn't work due to having children and then studying and this is also about my childrens inheritance and future. I think no more then 20% is more than fair!

OK - you didn't work for your whole marriage but in that time, he presumably paid all or most of the mortgage?

Tbry · 06/12/2023 13:28

llj13 · 06/12/2023 13:25

He has actually invited me to mediation. His not asking for 50%, around 40-42% and a clean break. I just don't think it's fair as I didn't work due to having children and then studying and this is also about my childrens inheritance and future. I think no more then 20% is more than fair!

Agree to the 40%. You then get 60% of the equity to house yourself and start afresh. Far better than 50/50 you will get 99k equity compared to £82k so will make the world of difference to you being able to find somewhere nice.

How much is a 2bed flat in your town?

SheilaFentiman · 06/12/2023 13:29

And the inheritance of your children is neither here nor there, I'm afraid (plus your joint DD will inherit from both of you and your other kids will inherit from their dad too)