Can my husband force house sale in divorce?

[skaw15]

Hi.
I'm currently going through a divorce with my husband. We have a 13yo daughter together, I also have a 19yo son and a 17yo daughter from a previous relationship. My 13yo and my 19yo both live with me in a 4 bedroom house. I have a joint mortgage with my husband, he has moved out and is privately renting a 2bed flat and I currently pay the full mortgage and bills. My husband has our daughter overnight one night a week and once in the week for dinner. He does pay child maintenance.
We have 165k equity in our property, however we purchased it for a low price with no deposit from my family. Could I be forced to sell if I won't buy him out?
Thanks :)

How much has he actually put into the property over the years in terms of mortgage and renovations, its that where the 12.5% comes from?

Unfortunately you did not ringfence your inheritance/gift from your family, so he is going after it. I expect the low price meant you paid less stamp duty too so I would be careful about sharing too much on that transaction. And its likely that despite it being a family property it will have to be sold unless you can pay him out.

You say he is not contributing to the mortgage, or property at all, and paying rent instead so that probably equals out.

You have a needs case, and a medium length marriage. So there wont be much departure from 50/50.

The OP can ask for a 7:1 split as a starting point, but she won't get it with just one dependent. As I said earlier, I got a 3:1 split with 3 dependents, youngest aged 9 and that was unusually generous.

I think you need to look at it differently. Be prepared for the house to be sold. Work out what that would look like eg what you could afford/where you would go. Think of it as a fresh start.

I couldn’t keep my 4 bed detached house and neither could my exh even though we both wanted to. And yes, the house sale was ordered by the courts as we couldn’t agree on a single thing.

You might indeed not be able to provide the same for your children. That's often the outcome. I'd stop spending on solicitors and book much cheaper mediation and work out how to split by either buying him out or selling. This is the outcome if you jointly own assets and split up. I was not married and had a joint property. It is finally sold and the proceeds split. My child left at school will have a bus journey as I cannot afford to live in the area I lived in before.

You really need to see things from his POV:

• the house belongs to both of you equally
• your DC from a previous relationship have nothing to do with your divorce, their own dad should be contributing to your housing needs. In the context of this divorce only your one joint child is taken into account.
• he also needs a place to live and host his daughter

His offer of taking 40% is more than fair here.

You've been there 4 years but didn't work due to having children? Since your youngest is 13 you could have worked part time but chose not to, its not like you were priced our of work due to nursery fees. And I presume he covered the cost of that with the mortgage during this period.

Your other children's inheritance is not his concern, they have their own father for that consideration and in reality, a lot of property is being sold to pay for care fees nowadays so that argument is null and void.

You having the 13 Yr old the majority of the time is a null and void argument if he is paying child maintenance in line with the cms calculations.

I'm afraid that you are being grossly unreasonable here and if it goes to court you will be told so.

@llj13 with my previous post it’s the numbers you need to focus on for a new home NOT what’s fair or inheritance. None of that’s relevant, what’s relevant is the price of a house in your area and knowing you have somewhere nice to live.

Would 99k get you a 2bed home no mortgage? If not and say 105k would for example suggest 35% and then increase by 1% per refusal.

But he doesn’t have to take into account an inheritance you leave for 3 children or their future, why should he take less equity because of that? If you bought it jointly fair is 50/50 and if you want to leave an inheritance you have to do that with your share not take from his share. He is being quite reasonable to you asking for around 40-42%.

You need to reassess OP. Whilst you might love to stay in your house that’s not the reality for most people who divorce nowadays.

You need to look at the total value of the pot of assets - so equity in the house, any other assets and value of each of your pensions. The starting point is 50/50 unless there is strong reasons otherwise. You have one older child of the marriage and work full time. I can’t see a compelling reason why you should stay in a 4 bed house.

I got divorced from a v high earning partner. Whilst I and my kids would have loved to stay in the FH it wasn’t possible in order for both of us to meet our housing needs. You need to look at both of your housing needs - a two bed flat each and work from that.

the fact that you bought at a discount is irrelevant and will benefit you both upon sale of the house.

As others say if you can get 40/60 in your favour out of this you’ll be going well. If you go to court you’ll end up with huge legal fees and the amounts you’re talking about are just not worth court costs on. You’re also risking getting “just” 50/50 too if you go down that route.

But he doesn't have another two children to think about. If you want someone to subsidise the life they want, speak to their father. You're making a big play about how your family sold it to you cheaper, but that was their choice; and since you weren't working at the time of the purchase, presumably he was the one paying the bills at that time? Marriage is swings and roundabouts.

Like others, if you continue in this vein then you will both end up with very little other than a solicitors bill each.

OP it's not about what YOU think is fair.

It's about what the law will consider reasonable. I am going through a divorce and was told that a 60/40 split in my favour would be considered reasonable but I have 2 primary aged dc and ex is dad to both so different circs.

You need to be realistic which at the moment you are not being. And get a shit hot solicitor who might be able to negotiate your ex getting say, 20% now and 20% when your dc reaches 18. However, remember that this percentage would be based on the house price at the time of valuation so if your house rose in price substantially in the next 5 years you could be in a tricky position.

I was able to buy my ex out of the house only because I had inheritance (my dad died a few years ago) and I earned enough to take over the mortgage in my sole name. Many, many people have to downsize due to divorce.

You don’t need a 4 bed house. A 2 bed will be deemed sufficient. Whether or not you agree with that is irrelevant really.

When I divorced my ExH we sold our detached house and were fortunate to live in an area where we could both afford a 3-bed semi each. It was a come down from the big detached FH but I was happy to sell and split 50:50 to make sure my teenage DCs had a decent home to stay in when they were at their Dads. I didn't want them spending weekends in a rubbish place in a rough area.

I was sad to leave the family home but the feeling of having my own home just in my name was wonderful.

my Ex was also a policeman and it was my dad who advised me to go after his pension and was awarded 40%. Best financial advice I ever got. It has meant I can retire comfortably and not rely on my DCs to support me.

OP - you need to look at the bigger picture here. Divorce is horrid but once you’re out the other side, life can be so much better.

Op considering that you want these extra bedrooms for your older kids - have you considered asking their dad or dad/s for money even a loan so you can settle this with him.
Re getting the house cheaper - maybe it helps if you think of this if you had of had an inheritance or won lotto while married to your ex he would have been entitled to half.
As much as this is frustrating you if you take a breathe as deep down you know that your ex is not responsible for housing your older kids which are not his. From what you are saying you were a SATM when you both took out a mortgage on this house and presumably he was paying for the full mortgage and all the other expenses and this was not an issue with him at the time that only one of the three children was his. Get a valuation and see what you think is fair for him to get.

So? That's what child maintainence is for. Split of assests is unrelated.
He can and should take you to court to force a sale. Nothing you have said gives any support as to why he doesn't deserve half or close to (I see he's not actually asking for half)

The short answer is yes, particularly if you need to buy him out.
Discuss with your solicitor what your options are and be prepared for negotiations.

Completely agree, you'll need to sell or buy him out. Why should be have to force you to do something that is reasonable to get his money?

As I wasn't working we wouldn't of been able to afford to buy if we hadn't of been sold the house at the price we got, the deposit was included from my family and that's how we paid the lower price as the deposit was the price difference.
I don't want my children to suffer and a 2 bedroom would not be ok with having other children. My Husband and me aren't ammicable, he pays me CM and our daughter pocket money but I still have to house her, feed her provide extras or clothes etc. that's why I feel a 50/50 fair isn't split.

We have had 2 different scenarios with me and my dp:

Me - Ex husband rented when he left the family home and still contributed enough to enable me and our 2 dc to stay in the family home for 3 years.
When we divorced, I bought him out of the house. Equity was around £100k and I gave him £30k and left him his pension. I had to re-mortgage and extend the term until I am 65 to be able to do so but I have 2 teenage dc and a 3 bedroom house so downsizing was not really an option.

My dp - Divorced his ex very quickly but didn't sort out finances/the family home at the time so now, 4/5 years later he is in the process of trying to get off the mortgage that she keeps accruing debt on, and getting her and her new husband (who moved in to the house) to buy him out for significantly less than half the equity but just wants done with it. She is being difficult and has said things like "but we like living here" as a reason to not buy him out and release him from the mortgage. Basically, she and her husband won't get the mortgage in their names so she is stalling. Her and dp's children are now 19 and 21 and it's a 4 bed detached house.
The solicitors fees are adding up and it will probably end up going to court, whereby the house will be sold and neither of them could end up with anything after costs.

Your ex owns half your house and also had a dc to house so I think you are being unreasonable based on your reasons given. You can down size to at least a 3 bed.

A 2bedroom house in the area I live which is a nice area is around £200k

Why isn't he doing 50/50?

So with half the equity that's 117k mortgage needed. Fine right?

Agree with this. It doesn't sound as though he's trying to scam you.

Most people have to downscale their standard of living when there is only one earner.

@SecondUsername4me because it's just how we decided to do it when we split. He works 6/7 days a week and also my daughter is a teenager who likes being out with her friends or at home in her bedroom at my house with all her things. She could go round more if she chose too. She has a bedroom at her dads but it's very basic.