Can my husband force house sale in divorce?

[skaw15]

Hi.
I'm currently going through a divorce with my husband. We have a 13yo daughter together, I also have a 19yo son and a 17yo daughter from a previous relationship. My 13yo and my 19yo both live with me in a 4 bedroom house. I have a joint mortgage with my husband, he has moved out and is privately renting a 2bed flat and I currently pay the full mortgage and bills. My husband has our daughter overnight one night a week and once in the week for dinner. He does pay child maintenance.
We have 165k equity in our property, however we purchased it for a low price with no deposit from my family. Could I be forced to sell if I won't buy him out?
Thanks :)

Have you name changed?

Good idea. You may be able to extend the mortgage and buy him out. Or he may accept an offer if all you raise is 60k as an example

Not yet as I feel what his asking for isn't fair. He's expecting around 42% of the equity, I have offered him 12.5%

I was trying to change my setting and username has changed yes. I'm new to this 🙃

A friend of mine had a messy divorce. They owned a 4 bedroom house with no mortgage. The husband had a really good job in finance and she worked really hard as a part time hairdresser as the kids were 8 and 10. She had to sell the house and she brought a 3 bedroom house and he had enough for a flat. That’s what a judge awarded them x She has a bit of a mortgage now but she’s really happy x he still didn’t walk off with half the money she got the bulk of it because of the children x

Is 12.5% fair op?
We don't know the numbers.
How much lower than market value did your family sell it to you for?
How long have you lived there?

12.5% seems very low can you share how you came to that figure?

Can you remortgage on your own and try and get a lump some closer to &50k he might accept?

The ages of the children make a big difference here. Your friend had an 8 yr old and a 10 yr old - for the op, she has 1 dependent teenager.

You say that for a time you were a SAHM - do remember that his pension is also a marital asset - if he gets a chunk of the equity you should get a chunk of his pension. Make sure he realises that.

You should have purchased at market value with your family gifting your deposit which you could have ringfenced. Now you'll most likely get half of equity and half of joint pensions. If his pension is more than yours you could try to trade a larger share of equity for less pension. It's hard and I know 19 is still young but with a 13 and 17 year old if they are of different sex you'd still need 3 bedrooms. Your eldest DS could share a room with one of his siblings of the same sex. I know it's not ideal but better than having to ask the 19 year old to leave.

Have lived in the property around 4 years. Married for over 10.
We bought the property for around 90k cheaper then it was valued. Have since had work done to the property.

Based on the fact we haven't had to pay a deposit, paid less for it and also that I'm the parent who has our daughter most I think that's a fair offer. I also have 2 other children to think about too.

Yes he can force the sale. And I think quite rightly given that he is renting at the moment. It only seems fair you split the equity and buy something you can each afford on your own.

You only have one dependent living with you it doesn’t matter than your 19 yo is young for his age. He is an adult.

13yo and 17yo are both female.
19yo is male.
17yo is currently not living with me but that could change.

We have equal amounts in our pensions.
I have a better car but it isn't fully paid.

12.5 is insanely low given that the standard is 50%. Your ex needs to be able to afford a suitable home for himself and your daughter too.

You don't have two other children to think about. One of your two offspring is adult, and one isn't living with you. Your 13 year old is the only child relevant.

Why does paying less reduce the percentage? Genuine question. By the sound of it, he paid for it if you weren't working, regardless of whose name it's in?

I'd tread very carefully OP. Starting point is 50% and both of you have one child to house...

OP

It doesn't matter that your family sold it to you cheaply if it was in joint names when you bought it. You each own it equally.

So you now have an asset worth let's say £500k on which you have a mortgage of £335k, giving the £165k equity.

There are not many marriages that have enough alternative assets for the marital home not to be sold, unfortunately. Though PP is right about the pension.

I have been advised that as we bought it lower from my family that would be favourable to me.
I wasn't working for 2 years of having the house but I was studying and also being a full time parent

He’s not responsible for your adult children - how you choose to house them is up to you and at your expense (they could get jobs and help you buy him out, to be fair), but he is responsible for adequately housing his daughter when she’s with him and in order to do that he will need half the proceeds from your joint home to give him a deposit for a suitable new home. I don’t think he’s being unreasonable here.

Are you offering 12.5% because that's what you have to give?
If so, it might be worth thinking of every conceivable thing you could offer him to help keep you in the house, but also allow him to get a new home. What about 12.5 % now and x% in x years time?

Your 17 year old is also currently not living with you - if she wants to move back, she may have to share with the 13 year old.

Yes it was what I could raise at the time. Also we wouldn't of had to go through solicitors etc and incur extra costs as we have now.
The older children may not be his responsibility I appreciate but I feel the money in the house is for them too not just me.

Problem with divorce is that our view on what is fair is often skewed by the emotional entanglement of the reasons why we are divorcing. Hurt, anger, feeling like things are not just etc, all mean that many people end up having very messy divorces that cost a shed load of money. You have to learn to look at it more clinically and separate yourself from your feelings.
What he's asking for sounds reasonable, you don't need a 4 bed for you and one dependant teen. He has a right to house himself and be able to get a mortgage too.
Maybe get legal advice on the matter of buying the house for cheap, but unfortunately the reality is that in a long marriage (classed as 10 years plus), everything is an asset and a judge will look to start at 50/50 anyway. Pensions, houses, cars, savings. All in the pot. We just have to accept that reality. You are better off trying to reason between you than waste money on court.

So you think your ex should not take his fair share of the equity so that you have a nice home so your daughter who
lives with him might move back to live with you?

@skaw15 your replies since your name change are not highlighted as being the OP (original poster), so will be easily missed by anyone clicking 'view all' on your original post, or scrolling quickly to see the colour highlighted OPs replies.

Incorrect.

OP has two DDs, the older one (17) currently lives with her dad who is not the ex in question on this thread.