Had to call ex DH to come over... what else could I have done?

[Churrotime]

Sat in tears as I feel like I'll never be able to function without him. We've been separated 4 months and I've done well so far. However whilst looking after our children this afternoon, I came over with crippling stomach cramps, rolling around on the floor. My 8 year old was crying and the pain was so debilitating I could barely speak and was sweating. I then had to swiftly get to a toilet and went all faint before almost passing out before passing diarrhoea.

I have zero family around me.

My daughter brought me my phone and I instantly called my ex as I genuinely thought I was about to collapse in pain. I already have a bowel condition and it appears I've come down with a stomach bug, so I do get intense, crippling stomach pains not dissimilar to child birth due to my already sensitive stomach. The pain is so similar to child birth infact that I didn't even realise that I was in labour during the early stages and almost gave birth in the car as I thought the pain would have been worse.

He came over within 15 minutes and he found me in the bathroom in a right state. My daughter crying next to me. He came in and held my hand whilst I'm sat there shitting, my torso draped over his shoulder! I then threw up in the sink! He had to help me to bed.

I'm so embarrassed.
But also how do I be ill in the future when he's not around to help/be there for our kids? He has since taken them for the evening and I'm able to rest but I'm just devastated that I had to rely on him. Luckily, he still has a key for our house. It's not like I could ever call on a friend to find me in such a state. My daughter was terrified when she found me in such a state.

Although he's helped me, he hasn't exactly understood why I called him saying "it's not like you haven't had pain like that before." I've had to explain to him that it's completely different when I'm solely responsible for our kids and in that level of pain. It is genuinely the worst pain I've ever had when my stomach is off.

Hate that I've had to rely on him.
And hate even more that he's had to come in the bathroom to me whilst having diarrhoea! 🤦‍♀️

Op asked her ex to come over to deal with her upset children while she was ill. Instead she asked him to sit withher in the bathroom whilst the kids were left, still upset 🤷🏻‍♀️

I see the miserable and bitter women are out in force in this thread. Sad really that the only way some people here get any enjoyment in life is to come online and kick others. I'd say shame on you but I doubt you have any.

The child was in the bathroom with her so he had to go in. And I don't think some comfort and help while she was sick and in pain was a terrible thing.

You do, but if the people in your life know that and never expect anything from you, at least you won't disappoint anyone.

You do you, Girl.

Thanks to those who've supported.
Had a good chat with my ex this morning who has said he would rather me call him then sit in agony worrying with the children worried about me. I also couldn't get eldest DD to leave me alone in the bathroom which wasn't helping and possibly made the pain worse as I was tense and stressed that she wouldn't leave me.

I'm going to push for further health care with regards to the gallbladder situation as that was the worst pain I've ever experienced with it and at child birth level. I'm feeling tender today and will need to watch what I eat to avoid an IBD flare up. I'm ignoring those who say that they experience this pain and manage to push through fine pretending all is well. A lot of gaslighters out there who, I assume, had support when going through this level of pain during childbirth... clearly clueless. A lot of "yeh, that happens to me" when no, it absolutely does not. Plenty of people here with similar physical issues who understand this level of agony.

I will call him over again if I need to. We're lucky that we are very civil and largely still friends, we don't have a lot of bitterness towards each other. I just hated that he saw me so vulnerable. I think if DD hadn't have been in the room with me he probably wouldn't have come in. He's come over to see how I am this morning and made me a cup of tea.

Thanks for the update, OP.
I wonder if the unpleasant posters are just jealous that you and your ex are able to be friends, and support one another still.
It's better for your children like this.

Brilliant update @Churrotime - you chose a decent man to build a relationship with/have children with and that will do them the world of good even now that you've split up.

Absolutely this.
Pleased you're feeling better op. 🌷

I hope that absolutely bonkers Marple poster realises that two separated parents being decent to each other is so much better for the kids than the alternative, seeing as she was so faux concerned about them yesterday.

I'm kind of intrigued by the posters who seem to think OP was trying some sort of underhanded seduction by shitting and puking. I can't say I've ever tried that approach but I guess they have? Is that what I was doing wrong during that dry spell in my 20s?

Anyway, if the child is distressed because Mum is ill, surely they'll be more reassured by other adults going to help her than just ignoring her?

I'm kind of intrigued by the posters who seem to think OP was trying some sort of underhanded seduction by shitting and puking. I can't say I've ever tried that approach but I guess they have?

Yes this, read between the lines and it's obvious many posters on MN are projecting their own behaviours and situations onto other women, especially when it comes to relationships.

OP seems have a very healthy 'teamwork' relationship with her ex, so it's probably jealousy behind the negativity.

My best friend and I had a bit of a laugh about these accusations over the phone this morning @ReneBumsWombats 😂. Perhaps a bit more shitting and puking might have avoided our separation in the first place?

In all honesty, we lived as housemates for three years and realised it was time to split as we had lost all intimacy and romance. We just never got that romantic connection back, but it has made me realise how lucky I am to still have him as a friend. I would be there for him in return. I'm colouring his hair for him later on. 😊

Didn't wanna read and run... not much to add regarding the relying on your ex. I think you have to do what you have to do in those circumstances. It can be quite scary feeling like your gonna faint with little ones in your care.
However, I did want to just mention that what you experienced sounded very similar to myself which turned out to be bowel endometriosis. Xx