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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

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Original poster

What does Child Maintenance cover?

190 replies

thisistheSEA · 20/02/2022 10:42

I’m trying to find a list of what Child Maintenance is supposed to cover? Can’t find anything helpful online, just vague statements about food, housing and clothes.

I’d like to ask my ExH for additional money to cover:
school uniform
school dinners
school trips
private tuition (for GCSEs)
music lessons
new laptop
phone (there are two - one for school I currently pay for and he pays for her smartphone)
glasses (we usually top up the voucher amount) pocket money
gifts for friends birthdays
a contribution to holidays to see family (my family all live overseas).

Which of these would be reasonable to ask for - on top of the Child maintenance of £350 a month?

Thanks

OP posts:
zighead · 20/02/2022 10:48

I ask for half of school uniform costs, school trips and also text books/revision guides. I pay for everything else out of the maintenance.
Occasionally we go halves on birthday and Christmas presents eg new phone, laptop, musical instrument.

FizzyBiscuits · 20/02/2022 10:53

Half of anything school related definitely.
Half for glasses/medical/dental

I see CM as being for living expenses such as food, fuel bills, general clothing unless he buys her separate clothing for his house.

I don't think it's fair to ask for contributions to holidays regardless of if it's to visit your family. He may want want take her on his own holiday.

ItsReallyOnlyMe · 20/02/2022 11:01

If you're going to pay for driving lessons for your children before they're 18 I suggest you put that on the list too.

Also contributions to university expenses are very welcome.

PennyFleck · 20/02/2022 11:01

It's wonderful that the previous posters have normal exh.
Mine refuses to pay a single cent extra over CM each month. It would be a dream to get help with the above list.
Still, I don't stop asking him Wink
Good luck.

FairyCakeWings · 20/02/2022 11:07

If he agrees to schools trips, music lessons and extra tuition, then it’s fair to ask him to pay for half of those. But if he doesn’t see them as essential then it’s fine for him not to pay. If the school uniform set up for secondary is expensive then you could ask him to contribute, same for glasses. But you do get a fair amount so I don’t think you can rightly expect any more. Asking for him to pay for your trips to visit family and gifts for friends is taking the piss.

vivainsomnia · 20/02/2022 11:10

You an ask and he can say no, that's it.

Your best argument is to work out how much the children cost per month, everything included. Whatever is above £700 can be shared. That is of course if he agrees that the extra is reasonable.

Louisa4987 · 20/02/2022 11:14

Asking him to contribute towards holidays oversees to see your family is royally taking the mickHmm

bringthesummer · 20/02/2022 11:14

Isn't £700 per month enough to raise a child? It's nice if NRP will help with some of the one off extras - like a school trip, but I think CM is supposed cover everything without extra payments

Original poster
thisistheSEA · 20/02/2022 11:21

I don’t understand where you got £700 from @vivainsomnia
We have one child and I get £350 maintenance
Am I missing something?

OP posts:
Soontobe60 · 20/02/2022 11:22

Why would he pay for you to take her in holiday? He already pays for a smartphone, so why ask for more? Also with gifts for friends birthdays. My dds had to buy their friends gifts out of their pocket money once they were in Secondary school.
Me and my ex always went half with uniform, winter coats and shoes, and school trips. For driving lessons, I paid one, he paid one and she paid one, so we went thirds. However I didn’t get any maintenance as she lived 50/50 with us.

Positivelyhopeful1 · 20/02/2022 11:22

I don't get anything above the CMS rate. I think some ex's are more willing to contribute to school trips etc... whenever I ask I just get told that he can't afford it and I should be taking it out of the CMS money. It's frustrating, but unless they are willing, you can't do anything about it. I think it's a real indication about the type of person/parent they are.

Idontgiveagriffindamn · 20/02/2022 11:23

£350 is your ex’s contribution, it is assumed that you will also contribute £350 a month as well. So £700.

Soontobe60 · 20/02/2022 11:23

@thisistheSEA

I don’t understand where you got £700 from *@vivainsomnia* We have one child and I get £350 maintenance Am I missing something?
Then other £350 is your contribution to her costs.
Original poster
thisistheSEA · 20/02/2022 11:23

@FairyCakeWings he doesn’t agree with all the lessons - we’ve argued about that. There’s music school on Saturdays and he moans about it because he can’t collect her on Fridays for a whole weekend. In the past he’s said he won’t pay for music lessons. And then reluctantly sent me half.

OP posts:
babytum · 20/02/2022 11:24

@thisistheSEA

I don’t understand where you got £700 from *@vivainsomnia* We have one child and I get £350 maintenance Am I missing something?
You pay 50% of your child’s costs. £350x 2 is £700
FairyCakeWings · 20/02/2022 11:27

If you want music lessons then it’s up to you to pay for them. They aren’t an essential that a good parent is obliged to pay for.

Agree that the £700 is including your contribution to your daughters direct expenses.

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 20/02/2022 11:28

I'm not sure you can ask for money on top if he's paying what he's due to pay according to CMS calculations. Of course you can ask and if he's decent he'll contribute but he doesn't have to.

snowdropsanddaffodils · 20/02/2022 11:28

In my mind
Contribution towards living cost ie house/food
Clothing
Childcare costs
Major overhead like laptop needed for school
Activities unless it's one specifically a parent wanted the child to do

And this assumes that both parents work full time ie the parent in receipt of CM is working to the best of their ability and CM isn't used to subside them being able to work part time

Soontobe60 · 20/02/2022 11:29

[quote thisistheSEA]@FairyCakeWings he doesn’t agree with all the lessons - we’ve argued about that. There’s music school on Saturdays and he moans about it because he can’t collect her on Fridays for a whole weekend. In the past he’s said he won’t pay for music lessons. And then reluctantly sent me half.[/quote]
So she has music lessons when it’s his contact time, against his wishes? I would say you need to look at getting her lessons at a different time in that case. Would you also expect other tuition to take place during his time?

Original poster
thisistheSEA · 20/02/2022 11:31

What about the school dinners?

Are they included in the CM food?

I pay for them as part of the school costs which I want to split 50/50

OP posts:
RedCandyApple · 20/02/2022 11:32

Cms is meant to cover everything from his side. You can ask for more but he doesn’t have to pay any more legally. My ex only had to pay £7 a week for 4 children, that was for “everything” 🤣

Thierryhenryneedisaymore · 20/02/2022 11:36

You expect him to pay towards a holiday for you to tke your child overseas? Are you for real? Unbelieveably cheeky. Says a lot really. He gives you £350, you seriously don't think he is already contributing to that? And the phone? He already pays gor it and you pay for the other, presumably also possibly covered by the money he gives you? You are being very grabby.

FairyCakeWings · 20/02/2022 11:38

I would say school dinners should come out of CMS.

Child maintenance is supposed to cover the NRP’s contribution towards the basic things a child needs. Eating is a pretty basic need.

You talked about the possibility of GSCE tutoring, so presumably there’s no reason you can’t be working full time to pay for the extras you want yourself.

Idontgiveagriffindamn · 20/02/2022 11:39

I’m confused about some of the things you’re asking for:

  • why would he contribute towards a second phone when he already pays for a smart phone?
  • why would he contribute towards your holidays?
Also when you say ‘cover’ I assume you contribute and not solely pay for.
CloseYourEyesAndSee · 20/02/2022 11:40

I don't think you get what child maintenance is
It's his share of the costs of raising a child. It is calculated by how much he can afford to contribute. You are expected to pay the rest from wages or benefits. Once he's handed over that money it's up to you how you spend it, but he's not obliged to give you anything on top.