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Divorce/separation

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Original poster

What does Child Maintenance cover?

190 replies

thisistheSEA · 20/02/2022 10:42

I’m trying to find a list of what Child Maintenance is supposed to cover? Can’t find anything helpful online, just vague statements about food, housing and clothes.

I’d like to ask my ExH for additional money to cover:
school uniform
school dinners
school trips
private tuition (for GCSEs)
music lessons
new laptop
phone (there are two - one for school I currently pay for and he pays for her smartphone)
glasses (we usually top up the voucher amount) pocket money
gifts for friends birthdays
a contribution to holidays to see family (my family all live overseas).

Which of these would be reasonable to ask for - on top of the Child maintenance of £350 a month?

Thanks

OP posts:
OnceUponAThread · 20/02/2022 12:38

@thisistheSEA

I don’t understand where you got £700 from *@vivainsomnia* We have one child and I get £350 maintenance Am I missing something?
Yes. You are missing your own contribution towards your child.

If your ex is paying £350, the expectation is that you will also be paying £350, which is £700 in total to raise the child.

Itsalmostanaccessory · 20/02/2022 12:40

@thisistheSEA

Seriously OP. You need to listen.

You earn basically the same. Why would you get spousal maintenance?

You can waste your money dragging him back to court if you want but I guarantee you that you are not getting any more money.

He needs to pay for things for her from him. He might want to take her on holiday with him. He cannot afford to pay for your holidays and the his. You are living in cloud fucking cuckoo land. Wake up.

What he pays is all he needs to give you. Child maintenance have told him £350. That's it. You get nothing else.

You have no mortgage. You earn almost the same as him. He contributes £350 a month. That's fucking plenty. Pay the rest yourself.

Imdonna · 20/02/2022 12:41

[quote thisistheSEA]@RetireReady Can a court order be amended if it was the ‘clean break’ he insisted on in court though? I might look into it though.[/quote]
Hmm his CMS will probably be recaluated and go down. Revisiting it would not work in your favour.

You had a clean break. But CMS is changeable depending on what he earns. That doesn't mean the settlement of martial assets would be revalued.

RetireReady · 20/02/2022 12:41

@thisistheSEA might depend on how the order is worded but in my case yes after a year it went down and the next year as he started to work out how to reduce his income without really reducing his income (eg salary sacrifice) as he got promoted but seemingly did not earn any more money.

RetireReady · 20/02/2022 12:42

I have a very devious ex though

millymolls · 20/02/2022 12:44

No a court order fir clean break cannot be amended.
You are in cloud cuckoo land
Want more money? Get a better paid job

Svara · 20/02/2022 12:44

[quote Itsalmostanaccessory]@Svara

Sorry, I thought that was kind of obvious but then again... maybe the OP wouldnt actually think about that.[/quote]
I've read posts on here about parents with more than EOW who refuse to buy uniform or contribute anything on top of CM towards shared costs.

millymolls · 20/02/2022 12:45

Cms can be amended. A clean break consent order cannot.

Bonkerz · 20/02/2022 12:45

You can ask but he doesn't need to pay.

RetireReady · 20/02/2022 12:45

Yes sorry my comments only relate to CM re the court order

OnceUponAThread · 20/02/2022 12:48

[quote thisistheSEA]@RetireReady Can a court order be amended if it was the ‘clean break’ he insisted on in court though? I might look into it though.[/quote]
Yes - he can amend to pay CMS minimums. The calculator tells me this will be significantly less. So you will get less.

You can't amend it to get spousal from him. That's the point of a clean break. You also can't amend it to get more than CMS minimums.

To be honest, you sound outrageous. If he is already paying for the more expensive smartphone, why on Earth would you expect cash towards the basic phone you cover. If anything I'd expect you to contribute more towards the more expensive phone.

You can't possibly expect him to fund your holidays. You pay for those yourself.

You got the majority of the assets and housed outright. You are expected to find your child out of your own income and the CM. You keep saying £350 doesn't cover the whole list but it shouldn't - just his share. You are also expected to fund your child.

Prepare yourself for a shock if he reverts to CMS calculations.

autienotnaughty · 20/02/2022 12:51

[quote thisistheSEA]@autienotnaughty I don’t think so as it’s over £23,000 - in any case I don’t feel comfortable about claiming benefits.[/quote]
Then people are roughly correct if his contribution is 350 yours would be 300 so that's 650 pm for child's upbringing. I personally think it's reasonable to ask for half of uniform/lessons/tutoring/glasses but you would both have a say in budget etc. Big items like laptops maybe share cost again in you both agree it's needed. Other things like holidays definitely not. But he doesn't have to pay extra you may have to adjust your budget.

Also you would get some UC on 25k not sure why you are uncomfortable claiming a benefit your entitled to but deem your exh supporting you acceptable!

Classicblunder · 20/02/2022 12:55

@millymolls

Cms can be amended. A clean break consent order cannot.
It's almost like that's why they call it a clean break!
DockOTheBay · 20/02/2022 12:55

£350 a month just doesn’t cover all the lessons etc.
Its only supposed to cover half, you pay the other half.
If you can't afford it between his maintenence and your contributions, you can ask him for more but he isn't obliged to give it. Unfortunately in that case your child would just have to cut back on luxuries like GCSE tuition and music lessons. Many families can't afford these things.

Lalala1 · 20/02/2022 12:57

The OPs financial contribution isn’t just whatever he pays so it isn’t £700. CM is calculated on NRPs income so in theory RPs should be calculated on her income( which is in this case less) you can’t just say a RP is to match the NRPs cm amount so it’s £700 and that’s enough for a child anyway. What about the NRPs who only pay £30 a month does that mean the RPs then match that £30 n that’s it Hmm.

OP cm is the legal minimum but there’s no legal responsibility for your ex to pay more( although he should) but things like school uniform, school dinners, clothes, childcare should be provided for your child by him on his days.
The cm he pays is for the child when she is in your care.

You could show him a breakdown of costs and try come to an agreement but there’s no guarantee he should pay(unless it’s for his contact days)

SleepingStandingUp · 20/02/2022 12:58

[quote thisistheSEA]@autienotnaughty I earn 25K and he earns about 30K (he used to earn more before he lost his job due to pandemic). I still don’t quite understand where the £700 calculation is from.[/quote]
Because his contribution should cover half her living costs.

So what is, monthly
1/2 mortgage / rent £400?
1/2 utilities £80
1/2 food bill £70
school uniform £40
school dinners £60
money for friends presents £10
Money towards glasses £10
Money for school trips £10
Clothing allowance £20

That's £700. He pays £350. You pay £350.

school trips - I'd ask him to pay half incidentally
private tuition (for GCSEs) - I'd ask for half but if it's YOUR CHOICE then he may not agree
music lessons - as above
new laptop - present unless vital
a contribution to holidays to see family (my family all live overseas). - no

Original poster
thisistheSEA · 20/02/2022 12:58

@titchy I have never posted on here about spousal maintenance before!

Also the court order already says the CM figure (it doesn’t specify an amount but he makes the payment direct to me). He used to earn more before he lost his job during the pandemic. I think CMS use the previous years figures?
What I was getting at was that I don’t think I can return to court once a clean break had been decided, to get a figure agreed, rather than the CM calculation?

OP posts:
TheBigDilemma · 20/02/2022 13:00

Op, I have not RTFT but wanted to point this out before you embark on a expensive legal battle at court for child maintenance:

Whatever extra maintenance you get as per court mandate can be reverted to the minimum maintenance specified by the CSA after just one year.

That means either you or him can open a case with the CSA to have maintenance reviewed a year from the court order. The CSA won’t chase him for a penny more than what their own calculation based on salary says.

TheBigDilemma · 20/02/2022 13:01

CMS sorry, the CSA no longer exist.

Starlightstarbright1 · 20/02/2022 13:01

Honesty you sound money grabbing.

You got 70% of everything was able to buy flat outright and have 25k income.

He earns approximately 5k more, pays £4,200 a year maintenance so you have the same income but he needs to pay rent of mortgage...

He doesn't agree with music lessons but has still payed part.

You seem very angry at him.

Its time to move on from your current situation.

ChoiceMummy · 20/02/2022 13:02

[quote thisistheSEA]@RetireReady Can a court order be amended if it was the ‘clean break’ he insisted on in court though? I might look into it though.[/quote]
Yes it can if over a year since ordered and if his financial situation has changed significantly since the order.

Ultimately, everything should be paid for out of yours and the child maintenance for the time your child is with you. That includes any payments for the days and nights she is with you. So if she is with you Monday to Friday then school dinners are your expense.
Music lessons if your instigation are all your responsibility, if his, he pays, but your daughter is the one who will miss out if you quibble over it.

With regards these, you can ask but no obligation :
school uniform
school trips
private tuition (for GCSEs)
glasses

new laptop - I'd have thought this was a birthday or Christmas present and your child should navigate this one.

phone (there are two - one for school I currently pay for and he pays for her smartphone) - why can't one sim be taken out of the school phone and put I to second so two contracts aren't required?

gifts for friends birthdays - she needs to get a job or use any pocket money she gets. Unless you want to pay. Ot she can navigate this directly with her father.

a contribution to holidays to see family (my family all live overseas). That's your expense. Your choice to have lived overseas and your expense to visit them.

milkysmum · 20/02/2022 13:03

I think CM covers everything doesn't it? I didn't realise it was a thing to ask for money on top of this.

ABCeasyasdohrayme · 20/02/2022 13:05

CMS is supposed to cover half of everything (although most of the time it doesn't).

Anything you get over and above that is not required.

You can't make decisions by yourself and expect him to contribute half. If you choose to go to clubs or get a tutor he needs to be involved in the decision making process not just issued a bill afterwards.

rainbowandglitter · 20/02/2022 13:05

As if this is real! You sound like like Sallysm (I think that was the username).

SleepingStandingUp · 20/02/2022 13:06

Bloody hell I missed you own a property out right

So what is, monthly:
1/2 utilities £80
1/2 food bill £70
school uniform £40
school dinners £60
money for friends presents £10
Money towards glasses £10
Money for school trips £10
Clothing allowance £20

So her living costs are £300. He's paying you £350. You're paying nothing towards her upkeep apart from extra curricular stuff you choose.

Why should he pay you MORW?

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