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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

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Original poster

What does Child Maintenance cover?

190 replies

thisistheSEA · 20/02/2022 10:42

I’m trying to find a list of what Child Maintenance is supposed to cover? Can’t find anything helpful online, just vague statements about food, housing and clothes.

I’d like to ask my ExH for additional money to cover:
school uniform
school dinners
school trips
private tuition (for GCSEs)
music lessons
new laptop
phone (there are two - one for school I currently pay for and he pays for her smartphone)
glasses (we usually top up the voucher amount) pocket money
gifts for friends birthdays
a contribution to holidays to see family (my family all live overseas).

Which of these would be reasonable to ask for - on top of the Child maintenance of £350 a month?

Thanks

OP posts:
MyDcAreMarvel · 20/02/2022 11:40

I can’t see how you need to spend more than £700 on one child. And that includes uniforms etc.

Fuuuuuckit · 20/02/2022 11:41

My ex never paid a single penny over cms. Despite his salary being 2.5 times mine. I stopped asking in the end as I was too humiliated by him each time - he used it as control, to make me jump through hoops and still contributed nothing.

Let the dc know why you can't afford stuff.

Though I think 2 phones is personal choice (and ludicrous) and trips abroad to see your family is totally up to you to fund. Many many kids with together parents can't afford trips, pocket money, new laptops, music lessons or gcse tuition.

TheDoveFromAboveCooCoo · 20/02/2022 11:41

So basically you want the £350 for general household things but ask for extra for the things that CM is meant to cover? I can see if you get an unusual big expense (eg school trips) that he should contribute a little more but not for the majority of the things in your list.

Half towards holidays that he will not be going on sounds like CF territory to be honest.

I agree that one DC should not be costing more than £700 a month.

Original poster
thisistheSEA · 20/02/2022 11:42

@FairyCakeWings I do work full time but I only earn 25K

OP posts:
pinkprettyroses · 20/02/2022 11:44

I can't possibly see why you need more than £700 a month to go towards a child? Obviously the occasional school trip etc is reasonable but funding overseas holidays and 2 phones is down to you.

Wintersbone · 20/02/2022 11:45

There's no should OP. He's obliged to only pay you CMS. Anything above he can agree to or not. Asking here won't really help you as only he can decide if he's willing to pay for additional costs.

Original poster
thisistheSEA · 20/02/2022 11:45

@TheDoveFromAboveCooCoo what is CF?

OP posts:
Svara · 20/02/2022 11:46

Depends how much he sees them. If he has 5/14 for example I'd expect that he covers 5/14 of all things shared between households (or buys separate uniform and so on for his house) as CM will be reduced by him having them. If he sees them so infrequently that CM is not reduced then I would accept CM as his full contribution.

clpsmum · 20/02/2022 11:47

@thisistheSEA

I’m trying to find a list of what Child Maintenance is supposed to cover? Can’t find anything helpful online, just vague statements about food, housing and clothes.

I’d like to ask my ExH for additional money to cover:
school uniform
school dinners
school trips
private tuition (for GCSEs)
music lessons
new laptop
phone (there are two - one for school I currently pay for and he pays for her smartphone)
glasses (we usually top up the voucher amount) pocket money
gifts for friends birthdays
a contribution to holidays to see family (my family all live overseas).

Which of these would be reasonable to ask for - on top of the Child maintenance of £350 a month?

Thanks

My solicitor told me it covers all of the above!! It's worth asking him though because I'm sure he doesn't give you nearly enough, mine certainly doesn't. Good luck
Original poster
thisistheSEA · 20/02/2022 11:48

With the phones there’s a basic non smart phone required by school. So she can just text and make calls. It’s school rules.

The smartphone is for outside of school and everyone has them these days. I don’t see why it’s an issue having two phones.

OP posts:
TheDoveFromAboveCooCoo · 20/02/2022 11:48

@thisistheSEA I'm guessing you are new here?

CF is a Cheeky Fucker.

Original poster
thisistheSEA · 20/02/2022 11:51

@clpsmum I get £350 a month - which doesn’t cover all those things I have listed. This is for one child. How much do you get, if you don’t mind me asking? x

OP posts:
autienotnaughty · 20/02/2022 11:56

I think half each for school stuff is reasonable. One offs such as laptops (unless birthday/Xmas gift) and driving lessons. I would say you pay rest. Also anything he's paying half of he would get a say in.

LunaLights · 20/02/2022 11:57

Well, I get £18 a month for 1 ds……

MyDcAreMarvel · 20/02/2022 11:57

@thisistheSEA I get £350 a month - which doesn’t cover all those things I have listed do you understand that it’s not supposed to, it’s supposed to cover half. And nothing towards your holiday.

autienotnaughty · 20/02/2022 11:58

[quote thisistheSEA]@FairyCakeWings I do work full time but I only earn 25K[/quote]
Are u entitled to UC ?

autienotnaughty · 20/02/2022 12:01

@FairyCakeWings

If you want music lessons then it’s up to you to pay for them. They aren’t an essential that a good parent is obliged to pay for.

Agree that the £700 is including your contribution to your daughters direct expenses.

Wouldn't necessarily be £700 if he earns 50k and she earns 25k it would be £525
Original poster
thisistheSEA · 20/02/2022 12:05

@autienotnaughty I don’t think so as it’s over £23,000 - in any case I don’t feel comfortable about claiming benefits.

OP posts:
Original poster
thisistheSEA · 20/02/2022 12:07

@autienotnaughty I earn 25K and he earns about 30K (he used to earn more before he lost his job due to pandemic). I still don’t quite understand where the £700 calculation is from.

OP posts:
Classicblunder · 20/02/2022 12:07

Half of all the school stuff and then other jointly agreed expenses - i.e. if he doesn't want them to have music lessons, it's up to you to fund or not if you can't afford it.

arethereanyleftatall · 20/02/2022 12:10

@MyDcAreMarvel

I can’t see how you need to spend more than £700 on one child. And that includes uniforms etc.
Depends entirely on the couples financial circumstances doesn't it? Some families will spend far more than that, some far less. There isn't one fixed cost applicable to every single child.

Op, we did ours through mediation. We worked out how much the girls cost. A different column to show how much we each had incoming through salaries. Used the entitled to calculator for child maintenance figure. My column was in the negative still. So, I offered my ex that I would either ask him for 50% every time they needed new ballet shoes or whatever, or he could pay me the remainder in spousal maintenance and I would cover everything. He bit my hand off to pay spousal and not have to think about it.

Original poster
thisistheSEA · 20/02/2022 12:17

@arethereanyleftatall We’ve been divorced for nearly a year and mediation wasn’t at all good. Lots if arguing. He wouldn’t agree to paying £550 a month and he wanted to go through CMS. He took me to court, which was horrible. In the end I got 70% of everything (so I could buy a flat outright for me and my daughter) but he got a ‘clean break’ and a court order, which means that apparently I can’t expect any more money over the CM amount - hence this post. I’m trying to find out what CM includes. £350 a month just doesn’t cover all the lessons etc.

OP posts:
MintJulia · 20/02/2022 12:18

Without going to court, my ex and I agreed that we would pay half each for all DS' costs.

I document all the costs for the month, mail them to him and he pays half. If there is anything expensive and optional, like a school trip, I tell him in advance.

At first he kept moaning about the price of childcare, asking why he was contributing a quarter to my electricity bill (ds lives with me full time), and the cost of school uniform, until I suggested we go through the courts instead. Ex is a high earner and I showed him the on-line CM calculator. Grin

Now he pays without whining. I haven't had to suggest it again.

clpsmum · 20/02/2022 12:18

[quote thisistheSEA]@clpsmum I get £350 a month - which doesn’t cover all those things I have listed. This is for one child. How much do you get, if you don’t mind me asking? x[/quote]
My situation is shit tbh. I also get £350 a month but for three children one of whom is severely disabled. The minimum requirement he is supposed to pay according to website is £750 but I cannot afford to be without the £350 he gives me at the moment while I open a case which he will no doubt dispute. It's absolutely shit. Everything seems to go in the fathers favour in my experience it's ridiculous

Original poster
thisistheSEA · 20/02/2022 12:18

@arethereanyleftatall I asked for spousal maintenance in court and didn’t get it. He refused.

OP posts: