Seeing my kids just every other weekend

[Happylittlebluebird]

I have decided to drop protracted court preceedings as it is getting us nowhere.

Any other mums out there that just see their kids every other weekend? My boys are 11 and 13.

I am heartbroken but it's the price you pay for leaving an abusive narcissist.

Please be kind as obviously I'm feeling devastated right now as it is.

OP, I really hope you can get some support in real lie, because you keep posting on MN but I'm not sure anyone can actually tell you what you seem to want to hear.

How weird

On another thread Op has declared that her sons won’t want to attend her funeral because “my ex turned them against me when they were teenagers.”

The eldest is only 13 right now.

Anyone giving OP advice on these threads is pissing in the wind- she’s already decided these boys are out of her life. She’s fantasising about them not being there. It’s fucking sick.

OP, I really hope you can get some support in real lie, because you keep posting on MN but I'm not sure anyone can actually tell you what you seem to want to hear.

This. If there really are any children in this situation, I am genuinely concerned for them. And I feel for the posters who get emotionally drawn in to try and help the op on her multiple threads and many names.

@FeatheredHope

OP, I really hope you can get some support in real lie, because you keep posting on MN but I'm not sure anyone can actually tell you what you seem to want to hear.

This. If there really are any children in this situation, I am genuinely concerned for them. And I feel for the posters who get emotionally drawn in to try and help the op on her multiple threads and many names.

Yup, I have to admit I found the thread the other day hard to read. And now this one.

Whatever the OP gets out of continually arguing with randoms on the internet is beyond me. But she thinks it helps her.

Have you ever stopped to consider that the kids might actually want to stay with the ex because of how much hard work their mum is?

May I ask how many of you (I'm assuming women) are separated. How do you share custody with your ex if so?

@Happylittlebluebird

May I ask how many of you (I'm assuming women) are separated. How do you share custody with your ex if so?

Why? Why do you want to know this?

How do you share custody with your ex if so?

Why on earth is that even relevant? It has no bearing on your scenario. Everyone will have slightly different custody arrangements, court mandated or not.

@EarringsandLipstick Because obviously that will have a direct effect on your pov?
Or do you prefer not to answer?

@FeatheredHope I wonder how many of you don't allow dad to have contact? Or little contact?

Ahhh you're looking for a row now, or desperately trying to find someone who you can say is a worse parent to validate yourself.
Go pop the kettle on and count out how much dough you'll be saving now. This new tactic isn't going to get you anywhere.

@iforgotyourenotbono Fascinating it's a question nobody wants to answer!! 😁

No it’s just another attempt to get attention.

I'm married and live with my DH and 2 kids. I'd never stop them seeing him because he's amazing, and I'd rip my arms off before anyone told me I'd only see them EOW. Does that answer your question?

It’s frankly none of your business. I am not the one posting dozens of posts about the ins and outs of my family life. You are. You asked for input. We give it to you honestly and you don’t like it.

But just to make you happy, I am also a single mum who escaped a highly abusive relationship. And no. My children have no contact with their father. I left the relationship to protect them and I take that responsibility seriously.

@UhtredRagnarson Well my feeling is probably as I suspect - that your kids have little or no contact with dad. Correct?

[quote Happylittlebluebird]@EarringsandLipstick Because obviously that will have a direct effect on your pov?
Or do you prefer not to answer?[/quote]
Why would it? Posters are answering based on information you supply.

@FeatheredHope As I thought. Thank you for your honesty.

Christ you really are the lowest of the low.

It sounds like a tough situation.

Not the same situation at all, but DSS lives with us full time and only sees his mum occasionally. He’s now 17, and although it’s not that often any more, they still have a good relationship.

I feel like one of the ways she maintained the relationship was that she seemed to make a big effort when she did have him when he was younger e.g. making his favourite dinner, or doing something (cheap!) with him one on one. It was only a couple of hours a week most weeks, but I think it really helped.

@FeatheredHope I also left an abusive relationship. I'm pleased for you that your ex didn't seek contact in that case.

[quote Happylittlebluebird]@FeatheredHope As I thought. Thank you for your honesty.[/quote]
Such rubbish.

'As you thought' what?

Posters own situations, broadly, don't affect how they respond to you.

Other than that many of us have experienced abusive relationships & so absolutely do understand the issues at play.

Which makes what you write even less believable.

@EarringsandLipstick Rubbish. The posters that have had an abusive ex fighting for contact and being successful are few and far between.
Those that have get it.

I'm pleased for you that your ex didn't seek contact in that case.

You know nothing about what I’ve been through. But just so we’re clear, he did. Repeatedly and extensively and aggressively.
But like I said, my responsibility as a mother is to protect my children. I didn’t give up on them.
Unlike some.
And sometimes court decisions won’t always go in exactly the way you wanted, but I never fantasised about leaving them behind.

God, another day, another user name...

@iforgotyourenotbono So never separated then?

@FeatheredHope How did you prove the abuse? Was it physical?