Seeing my kids just every other weekend

[Happylittlebluebird]

I have decided to drop protracted court preceedings as it is getting us nowhere.

Any other mums out there that just see their kids every other weekend? My boys are 11 and 13.

I am heartbroken but it's the price you pay for leaving an abusive narcissist.

Please be kind as obviously I'm feeling devastated right now as it is.

Do you know something I've been following this thread from the very first comment and posted replies a few times.. Not once have I seen you mention your boys with real believable empathy and that your heart has been completely ripped out by how the court will make you accept EOW.. I understand that impact of the family court, but where is your gumption, where is your sense of "my boys need their mother"
All I can see you talk about is how you feel and nothing else. Your Barrister will tell you whatever you want to hear as long as their invoice is cleared... They aren't miracle makers.

@Pebbledashery Of course they do. But it is a battle I cannot win. Google Baroness Meyer.

Started off feeling sorry for the OP.. but I've never read anything as toxic in my life.. just wow, those poor kids!

I'm going to say this.. And I have never once uttered these words on any kind of court related thread..
But they are better off with their dad.. If this is how you conduct yourself in day to day life with people you know vs a bunch of strangers on the Internet.. Your kids don't deserve the toxicity in their lives.

@Pebbledashery Thank you darling xx

Hi Op,
I have read many of your threads over the years and completely sympathise with the situation you are in. I know its took so much out you mentally, emotionally and financially to keep fighting over the years against your ex..I think you are doing the right thing. I hope things work out for you. Sorry you are getting so much abuse but having read your threads multiple times, I think you couldn't carry on the way you are and hope you have a bit more peace in your life and your ex can lose his control he tries to hold over you.

Parental Alienation.
Baroness Meyer.
Match Mothers.

I'm pleased most of you have no idea what it is or how it manifests.

Are any of ops other threads live still or do they all just get deleted?

@Scbchl Thank you. The abuse on here is nothing compared to what I've had to face. But you are right - it wasn't fair on anybody to carry on. It's been a year of agony this time around and there is relief a decision has been finally made x

@Happylittlebluebird

Parental Alienation. Baroness Meyer. Match Mothers.

I'm pleased most of you have no idea what it is or how it manifests.

Baroness Meyer's children were abducted.

She fought tooth & nail for a decade via the courts.

They were kept by her German ex-H and not returned to her. She was awarded custody by British courts; it was an awful scenario where on a visit to their father they were not returned to her.

Nothing at all similar to the situation you describe OP.

My brothers and me all chose ourselves to move in with our dad (one by one, not all at same time). There was absolutely no abuse like you have faced though or manipulation of us by my dad. My mum did also have a new baby sibling ith my stepdad. We never went and stayed at all really after that. Id stay the odd occasion.

However, the reason I'm telling you is to assure you I am still close to her and we do have a relationship and moving out never affected that.

@LunchBoxPolice what age are you? Sound very immature and lacking in any empathy to be spouting such nonsense to someone who suffered domestic violence and was still being controlled through her children by said abuser. Hopefully your nasty comment made you feel good about yourself tho eh.

@Scbchl Thank you so much. May I ask why you moved in with your dad then at that point? Was it because of the new baby sibling?

Eldest brother was due to him and my mum failing out all the time. Second brother was because the neighbour kept him awake all night playing his music when he was studying for exams. I then moved into my brothers room and left at the same age whilst studying for exams for that reason and because one night my mum said something really pretty spiteful that I never had to put up with at my dads.

Do you even hear the words coming out of your mouth?
You're losing your children and talking about having a glass of wine and watching a film. You feel relief that it's all over instead of grief at losing them.

I've read some of your previous threads and it's pretty clear you're not willing to put your sons happiness before your own. Your barrister has no way of knowing what your children will make of your actions in time to come or the damage you're doing to them.
To be Frank I believe she's encouraging you to do this as she believes it's best for the boys.

Just on the off chance you actually take anything away from this thread... going back to your earlier posts, why not complete the Freedom Programme online? At least you could work through it right now rather than waiting for an in person course (potentially tricky in a pandemic).

I wonder if the boys have said they want EOW because ....they want EOW?! From what I can understand, OP can offer them one room to share in a small rented property along with a one year old half sister and a incapacitated step father. I also wonder how effective OP’s parenting is at the moment - she says herself she is not in a good place. It may be that their father is the person with whom they want to be. In which case, the right thing appears to be happening now....

@Scbchl That's really reassuring, thank you. They love their sister - my middle son spends ages on the floor with her playing and my eldest is very protective of her. My middle son was messing around the other day and threw a puzzle piece across the room and my eldest was like "Don't do that, it could hit her." Then I heard him go over to her and say "I'd take being hit by a thousand puzzle pieces for you." That's the real him.
I'm so pleased you've still got a good relationship with your mum. Thank you for sharing x

Well that's a change OP. Eldest son was saying pretty vile stuff about his sister (promoted by his DF) in other threads.

Another amazing change.

@Checkingout811

So on your thread from Sunday you state you’re married again? And that your sons won’t attend your funeral? I’m also confused as to why you spoke past tense “when they were teenagers” I am doubting this is even real tbh and your sons are now grown up. Pathetic.

Evening, everyone. It looks like the OP has had a lot of varying advice here, but the thread seems to be going off the rails a little now. We're going to close it to new posts now.

OP - we've dropped you mail if you want to have a look in your inbox.