Ladies, Sorry for radio silence, it's been a a challenging few days. Saturday night H stayed up all night drinking and watching boxing, went to bed at 8:00am which was now Father's day. I'd hoped to be civil, had arranged a meal out, presents, cards for children etc,. He refused to get up, I cancelled the meal and rather than stick around for the inevitable argument I ended up taking youngest daughter to the V&A as an alternative. She is struggling the most with this. On our return at about 8pm, we turned into our street as my son was walking towards us, looking worried. He said he was worried about his dad and was going to look for him. I suggested he didn't and we'd try calling him instead, but he didn't want that. I let him go, but warned him his dsd may not like or agree to this. About 50mins later he called and said he was on his way back with his father. H was very drunk, staggering and slurring after drinking all day. He started to tell me I was the only one for him, he'd never love anyone else, why won't I give up everything and stop resisting his need to leave London and move back north, pleading with me saying it would be fun. If I ever have any doubts I will recall the madness of this conversation. I switched off and went to bed. He stayed up drinking what little alcohol was in the house. Needless to say he spent most of Monday in bed.
Today I met a solicitor who outlined my options. He felt I would definitely have grounds for unreasonable behavior but he felt I should let things calm down first, let H move out and give myself some breathing space as he's had a lot longer to come to terms about it than I have. I was seriously p'd off to hear that even though I have been the main wage earner for years and for the last 3years have had sole responsibility for the mortgage and bills he will still be entitled to half of our assets.
The good news is that he is finally moving out next Monday. Had the cheek to ask me if he could take the car to move some stuff I said no of course, why should he 600 miles wear and tear to my car, just because its bigger. Told him to get a van. I'm more concerned about how he plans to say goodbye to the children on Monday. He said he'd say goodbye before they go to school/college. My youngest has prize-giving on Tuesday evening but he'll be moving into his new house so won't be there. I hope this isn't an indication of future behavior towards her. She's very clear about having no intention of visiting him in his new house.
I do have a slight confession... I couldn't help myself when I noticed he'd left his mobile phone charging next to me earlier today, I had to take a peak. Let's just say there's plenty to use if I need to, I have photos. He's putting on a show of reasonableness to friends and relatives, blaming me for malicious communications with everyone including his sister, which weren't malicious at all and admitting to having planned this for months but getting the children on side is harder than he thought.
Thank you for helping me to believe in myself. The stories here give me hope in desperate times. I know it won't be easy for us but we'll adjust and make it work.
Roll on Monday and the start of the rest of my life! Mx