Thank you all for the welcome. No, I haven't told anyone what's been going on, though I think family members on my side may suspect the truth. I'm the soldiering-on type who usually holds everyone and everything else together but lately I've just shrugged and told them they need to sort their own stuff out.
H always claimed to be a 'private' person, which is why I've never discussed any aspect of our relationship or his behaviour with anyone else and in spite of everything I didn't want to betray him by discussing our problems with outsiders. However I have come to realise that he isn't 'private' so much as he's just anti-social and simply doesn't want the truth about him coming out.
We had a spectacular scene last night when he furiously tore up the form I had printed out and hurled the pieces toward me, then jumped up and literally roared at me to get out. He was so angry I thought for a moment he was going to hit me, which he's never done, and I know it solves nothing but if he had laid a hand on me, he would have come off worse. I've changed in ways I never imagined I could or would and he knows that this time I will not back down. I think that scares him. I think that like many men (not all) he's afraid of being left to manage himself and his own life and he needs a maid and someone to blame when things go wrong. I just printed off another form 
I can tell he is not liking the fact that I'm just going about my business as usual, uncaring whether he speaks to me or not, and actually enjoying my own company. I think it's all making him feel off-kilter.
I removed my rings today with no intention of putting them back on. As far as I'm concerned, their removal is symbolic to me of removing the shackles that have held me bound these past years. I know there's a long road ahead and that the journey will not be an easy one but nevertheless I am already free in my heart and mind and that is making a huge difference.
Heads up, ladies. We're strong. We can do this. All of us.