Does It Get Better Thread 2

[scotgal2017]

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/divorce_separation/3009364-Does-it-get-better?pg=40

Can't post anymore on orginal thread so started a new one!!

Wellyboots its hard, but the more they are together, I think the sooner the fighting starts for them....maybe its just wishful thinking on my part lol. I think that's when the honeymoon period stops, and hopefully they get their eyes open.

Good luck with your viewings tomorrow, at least its one place she wont have any control or say over....your own home. I feel for your ds, its not easy on them, but it doesn't seem to worry the stbex's!

Joining a gym today, need my head to be somewhere else right now, and hoping that's going to help.

Viewings today even!

Afternoon chaps, how are we all today? Wellyboots, how did your viewings go, any luck? I hope you found something suitable for you all.

And how is everyone else, there seems to be only a few of us sticking around long term, although intermittently, hopefully that means everyone is moving on okay.

i saw my therapist this week and it is going well. i'll actually miss our sessions when we move and will have to hunt for a new one. We've started clearing stuff out for the move, trying to find somewhere that does a car boot (it's not a typical Spanish thing a car boot lol) as we have lots of stuff that could sell and make a bit of cash to pa for the tunnel or tolls through France at least! Dogs are all sorted out for travelling (200 Euros later ), parrot will be finding a new home here as it is far too complicated to get her to UK!!

Feeling good but frustrated if anything as I want to be there and getting on with life. I have a dream of owning my own boarding kennels but too expensive. I now want to buy a pet shop I have seen but again I have no money!! Hindsight is a wonderful thing isn't it? If I had known that this was on the cards I would have saved in a separate account for myself, but when you believe that your marriage vows actually meant "for better, for worse etc" you don't tend to think you need to save independently to start your life over. It's even more frustrating as having been out of UK for nearly 7 years I have no credit. We had no assets, no property, no ties at all in UK. I still have a UK bank account with my overseas address but it hasn't been used for about 5 years so nothing much in it and I doubt that would have any clout on getting a loan/mortgage etc.

Ah well, onwards and upwards, and if anyone knows the winning lottery numbers let me know!

Hope it all goes well scotsgal. How's the house hunting wellyboots? Weewheels I must join gym or something, it's amazing that even now my head is full of it when I'm on my own, the thoughts won't go away unless I'm with people. That's what I'd most like to stop, to switch off my thoughts just for a short time. It's torture isn't it? Be good to hear from some of the others just to see what's going on. How are you Viking, autumnskies etc I think I only come on now when I'm particularly miserable! Sorting house out for selling makes me so sad . So many happy memories. And so bitter towards him and her. So selfish , she could have had anyone , why go for a man in a long relationship? Ah well . I'll never get the answers . Happy Sunday night everyone 👍 X

Hi everyone, hope you’re all ok.

I’d found somewhere two weeks ago and lost it then yesterday found another one but two other people want to buy it so waiting to see what vendors decide.

House hunting is such a pain!

Good luck with house hunting Welly, I've got that to look forward to... Hope you find one soon .👍

Im confused! My stbxh texted me late last night, when he was staying with her, texted.....sometimes life is not how you expect 😞.......then half hour later another one saying I wish I could just sleep. I texted this morning asking what was wrong, but he said he was ok, and sorry for the random message. He wouldnt say what that meant. Its annoying me not knowing! Any thoughts? Wish he just wouldnt text!!!

Not been on here for a while cos I'm finally ok happy on my own and loving spending time with ds family and friends. Then last night herd stbxh in tears cos been dumped by OW 😂 even had cheek to message me to tell me they had split and all his fault . Karma is finally working maybe now he may feel a fragment of what he put me through for a cheap 8 months .. xx

Don't you just love karma Layniboggs lol

@Layniboggs123 so lovely to hear you are in a good place! What goes around comes around

Layniboggs123 let’s hope he feels as much pain as he put you through. I’m not normally a hurtful person but I’m happy to see that Karma has made an appearance in your life! I hope it’s not too long before it visits me! Stay strong and try not to succumb to his shows of emotion as I’m sure they will start surfacing.

@newtonml64 I am not a hateful person either very much the opposite! But after what they have put us through I hope karma comes to visit us soon too! Even for them to just feel an ounce of what they have put us through. Hope you are doing well! X x

@Layniboggs123 that is beautiful to hear both from a how your are feeling point of view and karma.

As yet karma has yet to visit my stbxh. I try to be at peace with knowing I will never find out about it however x

layniboggs glad you got some good karma at his expense, wish mine would hurry up and arrive.

Still waiting to hear if my offer is the one that wins on the house I want, should hear a bit more tomorrow

Thanks everyone i think they will end up working it out if I'm honest but the cracks are deffinatly showing . I'm not gonna lie felt smug seeing her crying on corridor at work x either way I feel so happy regardless he's her problem now if the make a go of it again and that is karma for her in itself .. Good luck with the house wellyboots86

Victory for karma X so pleased for you Layni, let's hope it's the start of a run of it for all of us ! X hello everyone 😊

Hi how is everyone? I’m on a low today and can’t seem to stop thinking about stbxh! My daughter got engaged 2 weeks ago and we are busy wedding planning. I’m so happy for her but with it comes sadness! This was a time we looked forward to and now it’s here he isn’t. I don’t have him to talk plans through never mind thinking about the money. I know my daughter is feeling his absence although she is putting a brave face on. She has asked her brother to walk her down the aisle and give her away. She refuses to have stbxh there but I’m trying to talk her round, god knows why because he doesn’t deserve it. As much as I’m angry at him I don’t want her to regret her decision. I honestly don’t think he knows the damage he has done whilst he’s shacked up with the b*h. I know I’ll get through it but I feel so lonely.

Oh newton I’m sorry. It must be a very hard and confusing situation, I think you’re doing the right thing trying to still have stbxw walk her down the aisle as, like you said, she may regret it later.

I’m doing ok, still don’t like seeing stbxw and bf together with the kids but getting more used to it now which I guess is a positive (?) Still waiting to hear about house I want to buy, so frustrating

Newton I'm sorry you have to feel like this, its at these times it hits hard, I can only hope it is hitting him hard too. I agree, you are doing the right thing trying to have stbxw walk her down the aisle.

Wellyboots, I'm going glad I don't live in the same country, so I don't have to see him and his new family together....but it looks like he is giving up on our kids, and I find that so hurtful, seeing that they are old enough to understand, though they don't know he is living with anyone. Hope you get news on the house soon.

Absolutely fucking fuming tonight! Got a call this morning from estate agent confirming purchase details so they could chase up agency selling house. Then get call late afternoon saying that agency have screwed me over by selling to someone who jumped the queue by going direct rather than through the agent like everyone has been told to!

Cheeky fucker doesn’t even begin to cover it!!! I hate house hunting, I hate my ex for putting me through all this shit and frankly just hate the world right now!

Rant over, carry on about your day

Oh Wellyboots that's just not on!!! People shouldn't be able to do that! No wonder your so angry, I'm so sorry.

So sorry to hear that Wellyboots86. As if you’re not going through enough! Remember you have your beautiful children and you are a wonderful Father. That house wasn’t meant to be and your family Home is waiting for you out there

@newtonml64 that must be really hard for you, you are doing the right thing about walking her down the aisle! Although I no exactly what you mean - he really doesn't deserve it but you no what, you are doing this for your daughter not him! And what I have learnt through this is, any negative feelings don't hurt anyone else but me- not sure if anyone else has felt the same but it's really helped me stay positive (sometimes)and civil for the sake of my own sanity and my son!

@WeeWheels72 For him to give up on his own kids shows what type of man he is!! Hope you are ok, at least your kids have you

@Wellyboots86 It must be so hard seeing him with your kids! I am dreading all that to come but trying not to think about it as nothing I can do! Sorry about the house but as Newton has said it wasn't meant to be, and something better will come along soon and will make you realise why this one has fell through!

Big hugs to all x x

Lovely to hear from you Sunflowers how are you? The ironic thing is that neither me nor the kids have seen stbxh since he moved out 10 months ago!!! So really he doesn’t deserve to be part of the celebrations but like you have all said I’m doing it for my daughter and not him! There’s time for her to see reason, time is a great healer and she may decide to let him back in yours life. There’s always something lurking round the corner to knock us back.. I wonder if they have knockbacks in their perfect lives. I certainly hope they do!!

Spoke to solicitor today and absolute has been applied for so in a few days time stbxw will be xw. Feel strange