Does it get better?

[Mambot]

Is been seven weeks since my partner walked out on me and our nearly two year old son in the most horrible way. He blames me for everything, has turned mutual friends and his family against me and is all full of himself arguing 'its time to concentrate on me'.

I don't really get any sleep, am working full time to try and get some money together and my poor mum is looking after my son while I'm there and is also exhausted.

I have nightmares every night about whatever trollop he has gone off with and him smugly telling me why she's better, I have huge amounts of anxiety and chest pain and am finding it very difficult to 'forgive and move on' as all the literature tells me to do. I spend a lot of time hoping he will suffer for the pain he caused all of us.

Please tell me it gets easier. Some days are so hard and I'm crying in work while writing this.

layniboggs hope you have a lovely evening with ds. I had a little moment like that a few week ago ago, instinct was to give her a hug and kiss but had to mentally slap myself as a reminder we aren’t together anymore

@newtonml64 so sorry you are having a hard time! You have done the right thing to block him on social media! You don’t need that flaunted in your face! @LizaJane85 is right it’s not worth the torture!

It baffles me how these people have absolutely no respect for the people they once loved and cherished! We are all here although unfortunately in the same boat, at least we have somewhere to go where we no people understand! Big hugs things can only get better! Hope you are feeling abit better tonight xxxx

@sunflowers4 - I am so glad I have here too. Love to everyone tonight xxx

@sunflowers4 thanks for your caring. It is good to know we have each other to talk to and understand what we are all going through. I think the frustration I had with my sisters this week was that they don’t understand and try and tell you what you should be doing/thinking and I just snapped. But I’m feeling a bit better and determined to move on and try and get him and his b*h out of my head. I don’t know how long the determination will last but one day at a time.

Another weekend is here. What are you all up to? I’ve filled mine to the brim so Im not alone, I’ll be burnt out by Sunday.

@wellyboots86 I hope the party goes well and don’t forget a picture of the cake.

Taking the boys to see Paddington 2 this morning as a solo birthday treat (no stbxw allowed!). Making the cake either this afternoon when they nap or else tonight when she’s picked them up.

Center Parcs for ds1 birthday tomorrow then Christmas market (just me no kids) on Sunday

Glad everyone has exciting weekends planned. Hope your DS has a fab birthday wellyboots.

I’m at the same point as you newton, trying to think of stbxh and his new gf. It’s mad, I have no idea what their relationship is like but I imagine them having a wonderful time, laughing and joking, when in reality it could be anything but!

I’ve started to dip my toes in the murky waters of online dating, don’t know why really. Just to remind myself there are other men out there? I just can’t get used to being a single lady, I still feel like I’m tied to a relationship. I guess that will go in time.

Happy Friday, everyone.

That should be trying not to think of stbxh and gf!

@newtonl64 completely understand where you are coming from - I have amazing family and friends who are so supportive, but i think sometimes they just don't get how i am feeling or why i feel certain things. Sometimes when you are an outsider on a situation it is easy to tell people how and what they should be feeling/ doing etc However when you are emotionally involved its completely different. I think when you are an outsider sometimes its difficult to understand why people do certain things and feel certain things. At the end of the day they just want us to be OK and take the hurt away because they love us :)

Glad you are feeling more positive - try and keep yourself busy so as to not let your mind wonder. I no its hard, sometimes when i'm in work i find myself trying to understand why he has done what he has done and how the last 6 months of my life have been a complete and utter lie! But its happened and i have just got to learnt to deal with it and move on :) @Lizajane85 When i think of their relationship i also think of them being so in love and happy and going out, doing things as a couple. But as previously said that is what the beginning of all relationships are like - its exciting-but they are not living in reality, worrying about bills, childcare, jobs, they basically have no responsibilities - and it is not until those responsibilities come that the problems can begin and cracks begin to appear. But you are right their relationship could be anything but - they have basically jumped from 1 relationship to another without having time to think what they really want out of life!
Goodluck with the online dating - if that is what you feel like doing
then why not!!!! No harm in it and it will give your confidence a boost! I am not ready for that world just yet - want to remain single for a while so i can sort my head out and enjoy time with my DS :)

Happy Friday Ladies and Gents - heres to a good and positive weekend ahead!! xxxx

Well film went ok, bit of wandering toddler syndrome but less than I was expecting!

Cake is baked and now cooling so I’ll know in about an hour if it’s filled the mould properly (risen like crazy so bit worried). Plus side so far is it tastes really good!

Aww wellyboots86 sounds great we're gonna see it tomorrow. N I'm sure cake will be amazing

It’s all finished, now the fear of transporting it tomorrow can begin!

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Wow Wellyboots86 that is amazing... the kids should love it. Good luck for tomorrow, hope it all goes well. One things for certain the cake will disappear quickly

@Wellyboots86 - Wow!

@Wellyboots86 that looks amazing!!!!! Very talented! Your little boy will love it! Have a lovely day tomorrow

See my post getting over it OP i just put it on

Sorry just need to vent! Don’t get me wrong, yesterday was lovely, little boy had a great birthday and there was no awkwardness.

However....

Getting really sick of noticing little things of om at her house and the kind of stuff they get up to! I’ve had a real fml kind of evening and all of today. I just absolutely hate how in my head they are, I know the best thing for me is to probably go nc with her but I just can’t seem to do so without feeling guilty towards my boys.

Everywhere I look, other people seem happy in relationships or sleeping around care free and all the while I feel totally heartbroken and craving my old life. How does she do it? What’s the secret to emotionlessly giving up your ex and moving on to a split life of 50 shades/happy families?

Wow wellyboots86 that looks amazing !

I know what you mean I feel same he's treating ow like I always wanted and now cosy nights in playing board games with her and her kids. He never did this with us and just went to pub.

But then looking back he treat me like this 16 year ago so maybe that it's all new and trying to impress. ! It just feels like he never cared at all has no respect for my feelings at all. I just wish he will feel some hurt and know how if feels xx

@Wellyboots86 I no exactly how you feel! I’ve felt similar on and off over the past week. Even spoke to my ML about and she is just as baffled as me and says he still doesn’t seem to happy?? I feel like I have spent a lot of my days this week trying to understand how he can do this guilt free and also wishing for my old life back! I just wish I could stop questioning and trying to understand it and just get on With living my new life!

I wish I could give you the answers and make you feel better but I am feeling the same - so you are not alone! X x

spot on layniboggs! It’s been feeling like the start of our relationship but with the kids as well. It’s how I always wanted/imagined we would be. That’s what makes it hard as we seem to be so in tune with each other again but or course it’s a facade!

It also rubs me up the wrong way still that she’s with someone who isn’t interested in our kids and so it’s always doomed to fail, seems like a waste of time but it could’ve been anyone she cheated with I guess so that’s not really a factor in her head, just wanted an escape

sunflowers she’s been at her parents today with the boys and keeps texting me complaining about how critical her mum is being as toddler is being mischievous.

I know her mum can be frustrating but she seems to treat our new relationship as family fun/therapy and it’s starting to feel more and more like she’s not as happy as she makes out and that I’m being used

@Wellyboots86 & @sunflowers4 and @Layniboggs - I'm feeling the same sending love and hugs xxx

It seems we are all feeling the same this weekend. From trying to be strong and move on I’ve hit rock bottom again. I was out with couple friends last night, I was in two minds whether to go but decided to give it a go. Everywhere I looked there seemed to be couples happily together.. it’s made me yearn what I had and missing him so much... I seem to forget what he’s putting me through, how he’s acted and what he’s said. I think about him with his b*h and how he must be taking her out, treating her, laughing and having a good time whilst I’m feeling sad and lonely! I physically hurt today and feel heartbroken all over again. I worry that I’ll be on my own and won’t meet anyone to love like he had. I wish I could fast forward to my future 😢

We all seem to be feeling the same - i keep telling myself that this is normal for now. I'm not going mad & I just have to get through a few more hours then I can go to bed! Love to everyone xxx