My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Speak to new fathers on our Dads forum.

Dadsnet

Sexual technics

301 replies

EvansMr · 15/06/2008 20:43

share your sexual secrets
I lay her on her back with me on my side and flick the bean while goin at it like a jack hammer
seems to work every time

is there any technics you would like to share?

OP posts:
johnso · 15/06/2008 22:29

Poor cow

onepieceoflollipop · 15/06/2008 22:30

EvansMr, may I just ask one personal question?

If your personal life is so fab, what on earth are you doing on here at 10pm on a Sunday evening, haven't you got:

banjos to bang
beans in need of attention
page 936 of the Kama Sutra to consult?

Perhaps your dp has a sore bean?

dizzydixies · 15/06/2008 22:30

are we dealing with

a. a bored teenager
b. a bored middle aged perv
c. a daily mail troll
d. a split personality
e. someone who can't take decent advice here

answers ladies please - those without banjos and baps need not respond

umberella · 15/06/2008 22:30

yay, johnso! i love your posts.

have you got any advice for this lad guy?

DKMA · 15/06/2008 22:31

Mr Evans - do you have any other sexual secrets you want to share with us - or are you just a one trick pony?

YeahBut · 15/06/2008 22:31

Lordy me, it's amazing what you can do with a spare bit of plastic and a puncture repair kit isn't it? Does EvansMr have trouble finding the usual holes then?

notjustmom · 15/06/2008 22:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

YeahBut · 15/06/2008 22:34

Aha, the vehicle of choice for spotty yoofs. Otherwise known as an 'Acne Carriage.'

notjustmom · 15/06/2008 22:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

umberella · 15/06/2008 22:36

i'm channeling a perma-tanned essex boy with that odd fanjo-hair they all have, and one gold earring.

and a withered finger from too much bean-grinding.

johnso · 15/06/2008 22:37

Aw, thanks Umbrella
My only advice is to check you're on the right thread before you post

johnso · 15/06/2008 22:39

That was aimed at Nigella LOL!!

mummyhill · 15/06/2008 22:39

Right thread? Surely right forum. Mind you has made me laugh so can't be all bad!!!!

NigellaTheUndomesticGoddess · 15/06/2008 22:41

how cryptic Johnso - i haven't been here at all.

suwoo · 15/06/2008 22:42

My DH wanted to ask you EvansMr... as you're from Newport, doesn't the fleece get in the way when your 'partner' is lying on her back?

dizzydixies · 15/06/2008 22:43

PMSL suwoo

DKMA · 15/06/2008 22:43

Ah PMSL again now suwoo

ButterflyMcQueen · 15/06/2008 22:44

flicking the bean?

methinks mrevans is more of a ham shandy boy

suwoo · 15/06/2008 22:47

I can't take the credit, it was my witty fuckin smart arse DH!

DKMA · 15/06/2008 22:50

Right I'm going to bed now.

No bean flicking for me tonight though - DH is watching the golf



Do sheep have beans
YeahBut · 15/06/2008 22:54

EvansMr is obviously the man to ask!

YeahBut · 15/06/2008 22:56

Although how bad do you have to be to need sexual technic [sic] advice when your partner is a sheep?

suwoo · 15/06/2008 23:00

DH says...In light of new evidence it seems not, EvansMr has emailed him to say that last night he gave up the persistent flicking of the alleged bean as his 'partner' felt no waves of ecstacy, but EvansMR did inadvertently end up crocheting a rather small hanging basket

Tidgypuds · 15/06/2008 23:15

Whhoaa there boy your going to be getting yourself a fried bean.

justjules · 16/06/2008 06:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.