This is the first time I've posted here but I have been dealing with this for a long time and need advice on what to do.
My ex was always messy. The entire time we were together I was the person who did all the cleaning and tidying. The details would make you sick but there is too much to go into now.
We split some time ago and my two kids live with her during the week and see me every second weekend (although they do come to me a couple of evenings during the week too).
However, since we sold the house and moved to separate places, her place is almost never in a fit state for human habitation. It's filthy, clothes all over the floor, bins overflowing, dog treats on the floor, week's worth of washing up piling up, and you are barely able to walk through the living room without stepping on something or tripping over something. The toilet is filthy, and there is mould in the bathroom. She never opens a window or the curtains.
She has been diagnosed with a couple of mental health conditions and I'm pretty certain she is autistic. For this reason, I have been hesitant to raise this subject as I know it will lead to a meltdown.
Despite all this, I know she loves the kids and her way of showing love is to plan as many fun days out as possible for them. The kids also love her.
I'm at the point, however, that I don't think I can let this continue. I need your advice for the next steps.