Help with false maintenance claims

[Mixedupparent]

I need help desperately. My ex has made a false claim to child maintenance. She made a phone call, told a lot of false information and they just believed what she said..no evidence or proof required. As I have a high paid job she did it purely to line her own pocket. I am my sons main care giver. My son spends most overnights with me. I am the one spends time with him. Feeds him, spends quality time with him. I have him xtra nights due his mothers busy schedule..I tried to tell CMS that the information she provided is false.. bt apparently this doesn't matter..I'm the one pays my sons childminding. School bills and all expenses related to his upbringing. I have to pay the money direct as the mother cannot be trusted to pay it if i send the money to her. Which I proved..I sent sooo much proof to back up my situation and trying to prove that my sons mother never has him..he is always with me. Bt they took no notice of this and told me I've to pay her money directly out of my wages. She is laughing as she wil spend that money and my sons bills will all go unpaid and I will have to pay them anyway..while she uses my money for her lifestyle. Please help me. What should I do..I love my son..I am a good father. I've always been a good father..I am not an absent father..I need help.. what can I do...

🤔how many nights or does he live with you?

Put in a counter claim. Claim for the child benefit, even if you'd have to pay it back, then claim cms yourself and they'll have to investigate.

Take it to court, then you have proof of how many nights you have him

You need the child benefit in your name. If she contests it you will need to provide your evidence to them.

If you are the main caregiver and he lives with you then she shouldn’t be able to claim child maintenance. How many nights does he live with you?
Is he is at private school or by school bills do you mean dinner money and school trips etc?

This is what you need to do

Are you coming back OP, or you just dropped and ran?

We tried to do this and they said we couldn't as she had put in she was the primary care given...

Well you contest it with your evidence, more overnights, you do medical appointments etc.

Last wk we was with us 5 nights out of 7. I pay his childminding direct to the childminder. I pay his school dinner money. After schools. Hobbies etc. Direct to the people as I can prove my ex can't be trusted to make the payments. Everything she said to them was untrue and they just took it as gospel. They r telling me to provide evidence but when I try to upload. Texts. Or receipts. Or emails or anything they say they don't accept it. They need a signed letter from both of us which I will never get as she won't admit she is lying as then she won't get the money she wants from me...

They rejected all my evidence. Everything. Sadly my evidence is texts from her asking my son to stay with me. Me agreeing. We have always had a private agreement between the 2 of us to split all his bills and then provide for him when he is with one of us.. which I have never faltered on. She saw this as a way of getting money to line her pocket and she lied through her teeth. Surely this can't be legal...

It varys every month as she won't set anything in stone because she knows it will affect her payments. So when my son isn't with me he is in around 6other houses when on her time. He won't be with her.. in the last 18days I have had him 11..

Yes he attends a childminder during the week for us to attend work..on our days and nights he is lifted at 5. On her nights he is either lifted by someone else or has extra nights with me. I have told the CMS I pay the childminding. The school dinners. Aftrschools ..his hobbies and have him stay over half the time. Bt they honestly didn't care.. she has put her claim in and they took her word for it. Just like that. No proof.. no evidence...nthing ..they just accepted it.. The only way I can prove what I'm saying is true is with all the correspondence back and 4ward. Bt they say they don't accept txt conversations. Or emails ..or anything. So she had to send nothing n they believed her word bt I'm being pulled over the coals

I tried to apply for CMS counterclaim but because they have already accepted her version of the story. I can't apply. Which again is unfair.

long term if you are the primary care giver - yes it will always be harder for a man to convince authorities- live to a less as hoc arrangement and start collecting more evidence - keep a diary and contest. Apply for CMS from her.

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/children-and-young-people/child-maintenance1/contacting-the-cms/complaining-about-the-child-maintenance-service/

@Mixedupparent
I have the exact same problem but the other way around, i am the parent my child lives with me 24/7 yet my ex husband told loads of lies that gets him out of paying me a penny, i’ve appealed, i’ve written complaints, i’ve asked for a mandatory reconsideration, so many times yet nobody listens.
it’s insane how these matters are not looked into thoroughly.
OP I would withhold the necessary monies and wait until you are taken to court, the judge will listen to each side fairly, CMS are a waste of time, they are worst than useless, i’ve been fighting them and my ex for nearly 10 years, arrears just build up from years ago yet are never paid to me, i’ve now given up, there is only so much fighting i can take, i feel exhausted and can’t take any more.

Our problem is we r the ones make sure all his bills are paid and up to date. Childminding. School. Aftr schools. Hobbies ..everything. if she gets the money lodged straight into her bank account she will spend it on herself and we still will end up paying all his bills anyway. CMS have sent the letter to his workplace and asked for the money to be withdrawn out of his wages. It is so unfair. She had to prove nothing .or send no evidence but all the evidence the father has isn't accepted or denied...lol it makes no sense. The world has gone mad. I thot father's and mother's world be equally thought of now...

We have been kping a diary from 2022 ..all for a solicitor. Keeping notes off everything so we have sooo much bt they haven't taken into account anything we have.. so we have to send her money and pay all the bills and also care for him 5nights out of 7...

I would go to court for a custody arrangement to be honest. If it's court ordered it can't be denied.

I would apply for full residency. Then apply to CMS for her to pay maintenance. CMS is great when it works well but otherwise, it’s an absolute shitshow. Please contact your MP and ask them to intervene. Make a formal complaint, go to the CAB. They are amazing in situations like this.

Do you have a court order stating your custody arrangements? If not that needs to be done including cms arrangements for the first year, after that you will need a long term plan. You definitely need legal advice

We would be so afraid that the court will believe her.. honestly she is the best liar I have ever met.. We have txt messages between us and the mother arranging us to have him for the night. Or extra nights but they wouldn't accept this as evidence..

You’re being ridiculous. That’s not how court works. Make the C100 application.

Also, stop paying all the extra things. That comes out of maintenance. You need to grow a pair here, she’s walking all over you.