What is the best way to have a dig at a private school parent?

[UrbanDad]

"No am I being unreasonable?" here. I am totally reasonable to have a go at an otherwise liberal mate who eschews a perfectly good state secondary school to send his DD to a private school miles away. He makes all kinds of rubbish excuses about how his DD needs nurturing, the local secondary is composed entirely of the Bash Street Kids and it doesn't have enough sporting or cultural activities. It's all a load of Horlicks and he knows it - it's just about allowing his DD (and him TBH) to mix with the "right kind of people". I cannot afford private school and even if I could or my DKs could get a scholarship I wouldn't send them there - I just think social apartheid for children is wrong and it's poison for social mobility.

He says "everyone wants the best for their kids". I agree, but my point is this - even for purely selfish reasons - I also want the best for everyone's kids (after a couple of generations I suspect I will be blood-related to quite a few of them as well) rather than to purchase a privileged status for my own. That will be poison chalice for my DKs as well - what? After all I spent on you, you can't even get a decent job? - and it inculcates them with a terrible ethos of "every man for himself" and "beggar my neighbour".

Does anyone have any other suggestions how I can humiliate, lampoon and pour scorn upon him for being a sell-out, please?

Sorry about that Pag.
I can't help being faster than a speeding bullet

...and that last post was indeed about liberal parents who do care about their children's education enough to be involved in it (rather than working themselves to the bone to purchase it from a third party contractor). Principles are about (and never "above") one's own children - but if they are only about your own children and in disregard of everyone else's children, what does that say about those principles?

Blahblahblah

It's none of your business. Would you be happy about your patenting being criticised by a so called friend? It's not like he's indoctrinating him with BNP policies FFS.

Sorry OP but you do sound jealous.

What makes you think that private school parents do not do all those things you list?

It's not either/or in terms of providing enrichment outside school. But, depending on the exact schools you are comparing, what is on offer during the school day can vary sharply.

Listen urban.

Your mate won't give a shiney shite what you think .

By all means try to bore him witless if it makes you feel warm and happy at night, but don't expect him a. to care or b. not to refer to you as a twat to his wife.

This is really useful because if I want a lecture on fairness and morality I would obviously ask a man who wants to shit on his friend, and if I want a lesson about education it would be from someone who is also too stupid to know how.

I really don't see what his choice has to do with you at all. You sound jealous and with a huge chip on your shoulder. I am state school educated and now sent my boys to private boarding schools. I had the experience myself and wouldn't want it for my children.

WHOOOAA!! Just a darn pickin' minute..

60 posts in Dadsnet? In one evening??!! No Dadsnet can live at that speed.

Just slow a tad, while you? You'll get this place a name.

You can rib me I don't mind. As a liberal parent who said private schools are wrong throughout my life I am now sending mine to one.

The thing is I am not at all aspirational, not doing it for that reason and it really is a very 'normal' private school with a very strong charitable ethos so very ethnically and socio-economically diverse.

If we couldn't afford it I would still be pedalling private schools are divisive because they are !!

I don't care where my friends send their children to school. I have a friend with three children, two of whom are at private school with fees in excess of 12,500 pa. The third child will go there when he is 11.

I don't judge her, she wants the best for her children, and I want the best for my child (who goes to a very good state comprehensive).

and some people are recklessly posting more than once. On the same thread. In the same year! And a deletion.

My Mum went to a private school, her father had pulled himself up by the bootstraps until he was able to afford the best education he could for his child. What do you propose he should have done with it, drink it? We don't live in a communist state and people can spend their money as they like. Of all the things to spend your money on your children's education is by no means the worst.

God sorry Panthingies.
I got a bit giddy there.

KatieKaye - you're dead right. You should never blame children for their parents' choices and the whole point is - children should integrate and not see themselves as different, which is by the way what comprehensive co-education is all about.

I reserve the right, on the other hand, to tease a grown-up for being a slippery backslider!

Me thinks the OP is a tad it probably isn't your best side.

jealousy belongs in the playground, as does 'having a dig'.

live your own life.

Urbandad, I think I luffs you. Utterly utterly agree. One of our lovely 'liberal' friends sent their DC private, only to swiftly pull them out and send them to state when they realised how little their money was getting them and how awesome the local state school is. We are lucky, we live in a part of the country with excellent state schools, but I am with you all the way on this. Our local school is good and improving, I am a parent governor and DH is on the PTA, and I am so proud of the diversity of kids and how well they ALL achieve.

IMO the personal is political and there is no point holding a principle if you then do a 180 turn once your own precious DC are involved.

I think you are missing the point, UrbanDad - you should never blame children for parroting their parents' views, but you should most definitely blame the child that deliberately picks on a child they perceive as different from themand bully them, spit on them etc.

It is a two-way street. integration takes effort on both sides, not just one.

I hope that as well as talking to your children about how integrated schooling is best you also talk to them about how everyone has freedom of choice and how they should respect other people views. You sound like you want your children to be well-rounded members of an inclusive society that does not prejudice against anyone - regardless of where they went to school.

I'm as liberal as they come and my dcs are all at state school.

But we're lucky and our choice of state schools so far has been good, our experiences positive. if we had a major problem I'd have no qualms at all about exploring private options. I would never judge another parent's choices for their child - our dcs only get one shot at education, we all want the best for them.

You sound pretty nasty OP.

For "it's his own business", "it's their choice" or "I want the best for my child", remember it's all about the choice of individuals who can afford it. Now share nicely, please.