What is the best way to have a dig at a private school parent?

[UrbanDad]

"No am I being unreasonable?" here. I am totally reasonable to have a go at an otherwise liberal mate who eschews a perfectly good state secondary school to send his DD to a private school miles away. He makes all kinds of rubbish excuses about how his DD needs nurturing, the local secondary is composed entirely of the Bash Street Kids and it doesn't have enough sporting or cultural activities. It's all a load of Horlicks and he knows it - it's just about allowing his DD (and him TBH) to mix with the "right kind of people". I cannot afford private school and even if I could or my DKs could get a scholarship I wouldn't send them there - I just think social apartheid for children is wrong and it's poison for social mobility.

He says "everyone wants the best for their kids". I agree, but my point is this - even for purely selfish reasons - I also want the best for everyone's kids (after a couple of generations I suspect I will be blood-related to quite a few of them as well) rather than to purchase a privileged status for my own. That will be poison chalice for my DKs as well - what? After all I spent on you, you can't even get a decent job? - and it inculcates them with a terrible ethos of "every man for himself" and "beggar my neighbour".

Does anyone have any other suggestions how I can humiliate, lampoon and pour scorn upon him for being a sell-out, please?

i don't think it'd anything to do with his kids education, i reckon he's just trying to find new mates amongst the parents... can't say i blame him given his current ones.

My DD goes to a private school, yet I do all of the things you say a parent should do to supplement a child's education- volunteer at school - check (oh I work full time and am just finishing a masters degree too, but I find time to help), Private music lesson? - Check, Sports facilites? We go to water polo and swim squad training locally as well as at school. Behaviour - of course it starts at home. Culture - we go to the theatre (Sydney Opera House anyone?) and museums and holiday workshops in our spare time.

The reasons I chose a private school are numerous, but they are my business and not yours. DD mixes with people with money but also mixes with people who don't care about it. We have friends from the local school - good friends and friends from the private school. We all mix together and there is no social apartheid. I think DD is getting a good education that all people are different, that money is distinct from manners and class and that it is who you are as a person that counts.

Your attitude suggests that perhaps you haven't learned this lesson yet?

More power to your mate.

The traditional thing us to blurt out phrases like 'scholarship boy' and 'new money' or to ask if he's sure he'll be able to keep up with the clarity of thought and entitlement they will develop. . but then you would be actively undermining and seeking to damage your friend's relationship with his kids and it will make you look like a bitter arse. Wear some joules if you feel weakened but tbh that's the same sell-out deal as it is.

Poor OP, not allowed to show the natural envy/annoyance/irriatation that privileged schooling produces in those not subscribing to it.

It's a bit like someone saying I'm a much better parent than you, I am doing / paying all this to get my DCs the best education there is.
Therefore I feel well entitled to go around telling people this, my fellow private school parents will heartily agree and list all their sacrifices, those that don't go to these schools make me a wee bit uncomfortable as it is obviously giving my DCs an advantage therefore I can't help justifying it to them/looking smug. Rather than being tactful enough not to discuss something that we don't have in common.

The other parent is in the wrong. But you have to avoid him / let it go.

knotsrapper

The reasons I chose a private school are numerous but mainly a better education and mixing with those that can afford that, let's face it or why bother.

that it is who you are as a person that counts then why pay for an expensive education, it is who your daughter is that counts after all

Why can't people just say I want my DCs to have an advantage over others and more success in life by giving them the best education available.

Just be honest FGS.