What are we doing here?

[MrHeadlessMan]

Hi guys...

Recently came off a thread with some really ugly man-bashing. Not pleasant.

It got me thinking: really, when it comes down to it, this is a site for women by women. Its even in the name Yes we are allowed to hang around but it I get the idea it is a tolerance thing. Yes you can muck around on chat but on many of the other topics you have to watch what you say, and your opinion is a bit suspect to many. Certain posters seem to even accuse apparently female posters of being a man in what seems to be a way to discredit them. I love some of the really great threads and posters but it kind of adds up to maybe thinking we are gate-crashing.

Question: should we really be hanging out here? Or do we 'really' belong over on some other more general board?

< polite cough >

we can still see you

Oi! Look at the sign on the door! Who said you were allowed in?

< looks around >

Not exactly buzzin' is it ?

Plenty of elbow room here

Yeah, as the estate agent would say it has great potential

Really? I looked for a previous thread but couldnt find one.

But, being a man, its probably right on the top of active convos

Oh.

I thought this was a thread about existentialism.

I'm sure the lads will come charging in with responses any day now.

While we're waiting for some replies... I did something very brave yesterday. Took the sides off the cots for my 2 year olds. Nothing like waking up to find your toddler's face inches away... about 20 times in one night. They really have the 'give Dad a heart attack' thing down.

Teth: in a way, it is. Question is why we exist for you on this site ?

Are you sure that's the question?

Only it sort of doesn't make sense- who are 'we'? Who are 'you'? Why on this site?

I don't think that this is the kind of scintillating debate Kierkegaard envisioned, TBH.

Hahaha, yes DS has done that to DP a couple of times.

I don't think it's that male opinion is suspect to many. I think it's that it's annoying when male posters appear on a thread announcing "To offer a male perspective..." as though it's something special and rare, when really, just offer your opinion. As a person. No need to announce that you are male! Generally it doesn't change anything about your opinion.

(I have no idea if you do this but I thought I would mention it anyway, as it does seem to happen fairly often, and it grates.)

I suppose the only other example is when a male poster comes and posts on a thread which focuses on something to which male and female experiences tend to differ greatly, especially those which for men are mainly neutral or positive, and female negative. Rape, perhaps, or porn, or strip clubs, or breastfeeding in public, and then post away merrily with little to no acknowledgement of their male privilege on this subject. Perhaps you're unaware, I don't know, or you think that you don't need to be sensitive because you personally aren't the kind of man who would rape, or use particularly degrading porn, or make lewd comments about breastfeeding. Just think about these things! And be aware of your privilege. I think that's fair to ask.

And I've just realised you didn't ask for an explanation at all, so perhaps I shouldn't have bothered giving one. But I'm feeling nice so I'll post it anyway.

Oops. Sorry. Maybe not then.

What I want to know is, why didn't they to it to DW? They were on my side. Every. Single. Time.

Thanks for your comments Bertie.

Your DW has a cattle prod hidden under her pillow, that is why

Dontcha know anything ?

What sort of parent are you ?

I think a lot of women find the man-bashing which sometimes happens on here just as offensive as you do. I keep telling myself that next time I'll call the poster on it, but actually I just hide those threads. [hblush]

In answer to your other question, sorry I don't know why. If it's any help, our cat has shat indoors twice in the last 3 years - both times on DH's pillow. Perhaps she just loves him more? [hgrin]

Headless I'll be sticking around for a while.

I joined to get a female perspective on life in general. Given that I'll probably be living with the Mrs for many years to come and that some of our childrean are grils, I think I'll be needing to stay tuned in to that other perspective for a while yet. An open mind is a healthy mind and all that............

cattle prod. I have so much to learn

What you doing here AF ? We don't have the pleasure of your company in this dark and dingy corner that often.

You betcha do

GMSS! good heavens, a man in Dadsnet!

How do you deal with some of the less man-friendly stuff I was mentioning earlier?

I do foray into here sometimes, GMSS

I like men, contrary to popular belief

I like having men on Mumsnet, unless they are stupid men

Sometimes a post catches my eye in Active Convos and I am bored

Hmmm... betcha ... you're not really Sarah Palin, are you?

I too thought this was going to be an existentialist, philosophical thread. But as it is not:

The question is not "why are we here?", but "why am I here?" MrHeadlessMan. What need do you have that is being fulfilled by being a member of mumsnet?

I do have a bit of a mad look in my eyes, but I am not Sarah Palin

< hides shot gun behind back >

Otter - if there's one thing in life that's a waste of time and energy, it's challenging someone with a closed mind. Closed minds very rarely open up