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Original poster

What are we doing here?

115 replies

MrHeadlessMan · 17/10/2011 20:44

Hi guys...

Recently came off a thread with some really ugly man-bashing. Not pleasant.

It got me thinking: really, when it comes down to it, this is a site for women by women. Its even in the name Yes we are allowed to hang around but it I get the idea it is a tolerance thing. Yes you can muck around on chat but on many of the other topics you have to watch what you say, and your opinion is a bit suspect to many. Certain posters seem to even accuse apparently female posters of being a man in what seems to be a way to discredit them. I love some of the really great threads and posters but it kind of adds up to maybe thinking we are gate-crashing.

Question: should we really be hanging out here? Or do we 'really' belong over on some other more general board?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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MangoMonster · 17/10/2011 21:52

Ignore the man bashers! I for one would love to have more male opinion on the site. It's not just man bashing, it can be general bashing, ignore it! :)

Original poster
MrHeadlessMan · 17/10/2011 21:56

OK, OK... I get it. It would have been a lot more popular to have the exicistentialialist (even spellcheck gives up) thread.

As for my needs... This is the closest thing I get to real human, adult conversation in most of the little breaks of my day. Which is a bit sad really when I see it written down.

OP posts:
Hungrydragon · 17/10/2011 21:59

There are a few gentlemen about on here who are regularly assumed to be female, they give opinions and mix. That's a nice thing about Mnet you can just be judged on your post.

I think part of the problem is if you only read AIBU and relationships than you end of with a distorted view of men.

I have no qualms about ranting about the OHs acts that incite mild murderous ragefallibleness but not start a major thread about it, as ultimately I am just as bad Grin

I would assume therefore that most women who are fairly happy in their relationships with men in general and in particular their partners would be the same. So when a desperate woman comes along for help, people will say this isn't normal and try to help. Someone immersed only in these threads could well come away thinking they are in a minority and that they have the only good man/relationship...hence any man posting from a male viewpoint on Mnet openly becomes fair game Confused, or that's what it seems like.

In another guise I was told to contact womans aid, and that I was being abused but wouldn't admit to it.
The Reason?

My dh was a higher earner than me but we did not have a joint bank account Hmm

In answer to you're question then ....erm, I dunno?
Grin

AnyPhantomFucker · 17/10/2011 22:01

GMSS, for example, I did not realise was a man

DioneTheDiabolist · 17/10/2011 22:03

Well then MrHeadlessMan, your needs are similar to a lot of posters on MN. Is that sad? Yeah. Is it true? Yeah. So embrace it. Hang around the threads that you like. Hide the ones you don't. Customise your Mumsnet. Make it work for you. Enjoy it.

I doubt there is a single member who loves all of it.
I doubt there is a single member for whom a precious part of them isn't challenged or insulted here. Use such threads as an opportunity for self reflection or avoid them.

Whatever, try to enjoy your time here.

GiveMeSomeSpace · 17/10/2011 22:05

Agreed Mango . It's bashing anyone with a different opinion.

Headless How do I deal with it? Hmmmm........ by not getting sucked in to the vortex. I've wasted too much energy in my life trying to "debate" with closed minded people, whether they be religious zealots, political fanatics, nationalist nutters, socialist extremists. They've all got so much in common - mainly their unquestionable belief that they are 100% correct and their inability to consider another perspective.

TethHearseEnd · 17/10/2011 22:06

Closed minds, open cots.

TethHearseEnd · 17/10/2011 22:07

I think that's a lesson for us all.

GiveMeSomeSpace · 17/10/2011 22:07

Only on weekdays AF , only on weekdays

Hungrydragon · 17/10/2011 22:08

A lesson in what though?

Original poster
MrHeadlessMan · 17/10/2011 22:08

Is that an existenatlist (damn! How do you spell it?) thought there, Teth?

OP posts:
MangoMonster · 17/10/2011 22:10

Agree with Dione, enjoy the bits you can, ignore the rest, works for me. There's lots of good stuff, just takes time to figure out what is worth getting involved in and what isn't. Stick around, we need more balance! Wink

OtterBjitch · 17/10/2011 22:10

Surely that should be 'open cots, disturbed sleep'?

Original poster
MrHeadlessMan · 17/10/2011 22:11

Thanks for that GMSS. Food for thought.

OP posts:
Original poster
MrHeadlessMan · 17/10/2011 22:13

Thanks Mango. Smile

OP posts:
DioneTheDiabolist · 17/10/2011 22:17

That's Exist with Ential and Ist at the end. You've got a superfluous T in there. Don't worry about it MrHeadless, the spelling and grammar police will be along in a minute to explain where you are going wrong.[hgrin]

DioneTheDiabolist · 17/10/2011 22:19

Or maybe where I got it wrong. I no longer know.

Original poster
MrHeadlessMan · 17/10/2011 22:40

While you guys are here and being nice, please spare a thought for my DW next week when she is having some surgery. Bit of a risky op so if you have a faith/lucky charm/good luck vibe please put them to use.

OP posts:
AnyPhantomFucker · 17/10/2011 22:43

Aw, that sounds a bit shit, MHM.

Hope she comes through it as well as she can, but I have a lot of faith in the NHS so am sure they will do their best with her.

AnyPhantomFucker · 17/10/2011 22:44

And if you were to post that when we aren't being so nice, you would get the same response

OtterBjitch · 17/10/2011 22:46

Good luck, MrsHeadlessMan (MrsHeadlessWoman? MsHeadlessPerson?). Hope it all goes smoothly, and wishing you a speedy recovery.

GiveMeSomeSpace · 17/10/2011 22:53

Hope everything goes well Headless

Hungrydragon · 17/10/2011 23:00

Good luck Mr and Mrs headless, don't forget this is a good place to fret on too if you need to worry, without worrying anyone in RL

Pan · 17/10/2011 23:13

oh just ignore the tiresome little feckers, MrHeadless.

TethHearseEnd · 17/10/2011 23:31

Now Pan, that's no way to talk about MrHeadless' cherished offspring.

Perhaps he should just put the sides back on the cot?