Coming Clean by Liz Fraser

[RhinoRhino]

A couple of threads that I had posted on relating to the Memoir ‘Coming Clean’ by Liz Fraser have been deleted from the MN site, apparently due to non-compliance of the MN guidelines from the posters. MN are obviously well within their rights to delete threads if they demonstrably fail to comply with their guidelines, nevertheless I feel strongly that MN posters are given a platform to critique this book, and also any other public ventures by this author. It would be neither fair nor right that posters are completely silenced in this particular matter.

As such, and in line with Mumsnet not seeing “anything wrong with honest feedback” I would like to make the comment that Coming Clean as a Memoir falls short due to the shaky and not entirely truthful narrative. There are certain facts contained within this memoir that are easily disprovable (for example, relating to the marital status of both author and her partner when they started their ill-fated affair), which leaves a massive question mark over the rest of the book. Is it entirely reasonable to make money from something that is promoted as truthful when it is, in fact, not entirely true?

I think there are people whose lives have been negatively impacted by the book and its subject matter, and I hope that MN will agree that these people should have a voice, as should anybody who wants to comment on a published piece of work.

As long as posters align their comments with the MN guidelines, this is a topic that people may wish to keep discussing, and also keep in the public domain. And if MN wants to provide a set of rules particular to this thread – certainly if they are arbitrary and differ from the general guidelines - I am sure it would be very helpful.

Mumsnet, please help us to help each other by keeping in the public domain something that us silenced mums feel should be out there.

I must confess I still remain in shock over all
of this. I am dissecting every post and look upon the fall as a way to get out of the run and therefore avoid the sponsorship question. Call me cynical, I don’t want to disbelieve her but there are too many flags now.

The fall is as bizarre as almost everything else she posts about. If it was that painful why didn't she get herself checked out by a medical professional? Her adult son was there at the time, she could have gone to A&E. She seems to crave sympathy. It's all about I'm having so much FUN right now, it's the best moment I've experienced in YEARS, but at the same time talking about something AWFUL that happened in the past. I'm waiting for a post in a years time that someone abused her and pushed her down the stairs.

It makes me wonder what else she has exaggerated, considering her life has been greatly shortened by "Things!"

The evil dad has now become the perfect babysitter. If I had felt the need to keep my child away from her father for two years, assuming he posed a serious risk to her well-being, I would be on edge and unable to relax whenever she is with him, not ‘avin it large or more relaxed than ever 🤷‍♀️🤯

What the actual fuck is that tripe about THE FIRST TIME IN 25 YEARS? Absolute bollocks. The woman is deranged

Thought I'd update myself with the progress of Edgeway Press, as I'm keen to hear what silenced women might have to say for themselves.

Still no submissions guidelines and the podcast is still 'coming soon'.

Still, there was a launch party in May, and that's the main thing!

It’s a shame about Edgeway Press’ lack of submissions guidelines, as I’ve been in possession of an outline story for a while.

A man I know got friendly with a younger woman (so friendly he and his family went to her wedding). It was well-known that the woman had a bit of a chocolate addiction – clues included chocolatey chops, handbag full of Dairy Milk wrappers, carrying quite a bit of timber, and sporting a ‘sponsored by Cadbury’ T-shirt. (The older man claimed to be oblivious of all these clues, and claims he had no idea what a chocolate addict even was.)

Despite knowing she was married, he sent her a text one night when he knew her husband was away ‘Hey dickhead. What goes? Fancy some company?’ and promptly arrived on the doorstep with a Lidl carrier bag full of Finn Carre fruit and nut bars. Needless to say, later in the evening - much to the puzzlement of the older man - the hapless younger woman collapsed. Possibly a diabetic coma.

Subsequently the couple left their respective partners, and on a whim (the man’s whim) moved to Brussels, the chocolate capital of the world, where our poor heroine – with no job, no friends and no purpose – spent her days wandering the streets, in and out of the fine chocolate shops. All funded by the older man. (Who occasionally hunted her down and physically threw her out of the shop with the order to ‘GO HOME. NOW!’)

The older man paid off all her debts in the chocolate shops of both Brussels and back home, yet in spite of this, the woman felt oppressed and controlled. After a few months to save herself she hurriedly moved back to the UK. This tactic only worked for a week or two, as the man quickly followed her (stopping en route at Ikea to buy a houseful of furniture for his speedily obtained new home). The younger woman was quickly invited to move back in with the older man, provided he could do a daily blood sugar prick test and chocolate check of her bag. On the crest of a sugar rush, she agreed to all terms, but it soon became apparent the relationship was going nowhere. To cut a long story short, the younger woman gave up chocolate and left.

The older man cried a lot, and waged a campaign of subtle cruelty by posting pictures of himself lying on his beautiful white sheets surrounded by Godiva hampers, but our plucky heroine remained steadfast in the face of such goading. She is now thriving, after 3 years without chocolate.

And one day – submission guidelines permitting – she wants to tell her story to the world! She’s running out of confidence that Edgeway Press is going to be the right platform for her unsilencing story. Can anybody advise?

What about the month she “performed” at the Edinburgh Festival? Pre baby four, but post children 1, 2 and 3? Few parents, solo, single or whatever get a month parenting free! Or the trip she took to Venice, let’s say, without HER husband or children? Or when in the b……

This is so similar to the story of Gretel, who has her submission ready too.

She stumbled upon a gingerbread house inhabited by a wicked (w)itch who lured her in with the intention of eating her. However, she outsmarted the witch and managed to escape from his clutches. Three years on, she’s created a home where she lives happily ever after with Hansel, who thus far, has not tried to eat her 🤷‍♀️

Well, once at school, kids become boring. Parents start to grieve the loss of the child that was (completely controllable). I read this once in a book and newspaper article by a parenting expert. Forget which one.There are so many.

‘I’m starting a publishing company to publish IMPORTANT work and to give a voice to silenced women’

snd today

‘I’ve always wanted to write novels and if it means taking a year off work to do so that’s what I’ll do’

equals ‘my books matter and f*^k the silenced women??’

And you can jolly well STOP saying the photos of my perfect NEARLY 50 YEAR OLD body are thirst shots!!
WOMEN support WOMEN, remember...erm...except when they want their husbands, obviously.
TROLLS!!!!

Edgeway press is over before it even began if I had been an aspiring writer who attended the launch event I would be fed up waiting now. Plus a hand typed anthology in a white cover is not going to be eye catching in a bookshop is it would look like a notebook

Not only has she listed her own address online by registering her company to her address, and videod her window locks, but now she has posted a clear photograph of her house keys, allowing them to be cloned. Does she actually want to compromise her own safety?

We probably made her do it, with our TROLLING and ABUSE 😁

Talking of not getting out EVER. DH and I went to the cinema in 1998, just after we'd met and then not until 2016. It's not special or brave or unusual- having little free time when you have kids!

Did you make her show them? 😝Seriously though, why?

We went out New Year's Eve 2022 just me and the husband.

Last time before that was New Year's Eve 1999 and we took our eldest out with us.

Thought this was fairly standard when you have kids and not many babysitting options 🤷‍♀️

I thought so too. I was also well aware of this BEFORE having children. I weighed up the pros and cons of having children. There are many in both columns.

What I did and have missed is it’s perfectly normal to take a year off (what?) to write a novel, on a whim. I must do this. Oh hold on, I’m a…. Parent, mortgage payer, mouth feeder, home heater, taxi driver….

Since I was a child, I've dreamed of writing a novel, publishing books and endlessly expressing my love for books.

However, only now have I discovered that being single is so incredibly enjoyable.

I'm going to share this new found joy with you so frequently that even I start to believe it. That the two wives whose marriages I wrecked believe it was their fault, not mine, for the brazen affairs I had while still to my married to my husband, but in flagrante delicto, for many years and crossing over, with theirs. Sheesh 🧌, we all make mistakes 🤷‍♀️

I know I may seem silly, especially for a little lady approaching 50, but that's just who I am. A viper in not so cutsy, not so girly wrappers.

She’s trolling me. I’ve had to block her. After months of nothing everyday I get a substack to my email telling me about her holidays no longer poor and needing money from real victims of poverty. The one today is the holiday she took just after I fell for her lies. I don’t need this my life is hard enough. Does she think these people want to have tourist photographing them while they try to make enough money to eat? She’s wharped is what she is cruel and wharped. What normal person says this out loud? Actually I rarely go and see The Sights at all. I have far more interest in wizened old men selling lemons in a backstreet than queuing to see a famous landmark.

Ugh, I'm so sorry

@ObservingToo she is ridiculous and will never be truly happy (the constant declarations of being the “happiest ever” are the clues to this) — while you are solidly rebuilding your life.

It will get easier and better for you, and knowing that you never lied or weasled money out of someone less fortunate than you will help you sleep better at night. You’re a strong amazing survivor, who inadvertently paid for someone’s holiday was just trying to help someone she felt sorry for. You have empathy, she’s a manipulative liar.

She’s (I’m naming no one here) now moaning on no specified social media channel that “the trolls” are no longer trolling or following her since she threatened police and civil action plus “contempt of court????” It’s impossible to win.

The way she keeps going on about it all makes me think she's actually a bit pissed off at the lack of attention 😄 I've certainly never followed her nor wish to; it's all horribly public anyway!