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Coming Clean by Liz Fraser

1000 replies

RhinoRhino · 25/06/2023 12:13

A couple of threads that I had posted on relating to the Memoir ‘Coming Clean’ by Liz Fraser have been deleted from the MN site, apparently due to non-compliance of the MN guidelines from the posters. MN are obviously well within their rights to delete threads if they demonstrably fail to comply with their guidelines, nevertheless I feel strongly that MN posters are given a platform to critique this book, and also any other public ventures by this author. It would be neither fair nor right that posters are completely silenced in this particular matter.

As such, and in line with Mumsnet not seeing “anything wrong with honest feedback” I would like to make the comment that Coming Clean as a Memoir falls short due to the shaky and not entirely truthful narrative. There are certain facts contained within this memoir that are easily disprovable (for example, relating to the marital status of both author and her partner when they started their ill-fated affair), which leaves a massive question mark over the rest of the book. Is it entirely reasonable to make money from something that is promoted as truthful when it is, in fact, not entirely true?

I think there are people whose lives have been negatively impacted by the book and its subject matter, and I hope that MN will agree that these people should have a voice, as should anybody who wants to comment on a published piece of work.

As long as posters align their comments with the MN guidelines, this is a topic that people may wish to keep discussing, and also keep in the public domain. And if MN wants to provide a set of rules particular to this thread – certainly if they are arbitrary and differ from the general guidelines - I am sure it would be very helpful.

Mumsnet, please help us to help each other by keeping in the public domain something that us silenced mums feel should be out there.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
48
SplatPancake · 11/07/2023 22:59

She is incapable of not being public. I think she made her Twitter private for a few days — that’s it 🤷‍♀️

TomatoSoupkitchen · 12/07/2023 13:23

Tortiemiaw · 11/07/2023 21:57

The way she keeps going on about it all makes me think she's actually a bit pissed off at the lack of attention 😄 I've certainly never followed her nor wish to; it's all horribly public anyway!

Nope. I’ve not followed her. Her social media is wide open to the world. What she posts is a serious threat to her safety and home security. It's alarming. I genuinely care. If a friend of mine did the same, I'd speak up without hesitation. But here's the sad truth, if I dared to bring it up, with her I'd likely be labeled the villain. Trying to ruin her business.

RhinoRhino · 12/07/2023 20:15

Just a bit more honest feedback. Not only honest, but also free of charge ….

If Ms Fraser does take a year off from work to write a novel, I hope she has considered arranging interim cover to make sure somebody keeps on top of her work and business while she is otherwise engaged, including managing the following:

Writing travel articles – although these could poss be deferred for a year tbh;
Running Edgeway Press – although is there anything further to do now the paper has been chosen and the launch party has taken place?
Writing the Submissions Guidelines – see above;
Podcasting – could maybe just keep the ‘coming soon’ message on the website for another year;
Unsilencing women – see above re EP, and in any case if these women have been silent thus far would it really harm them to shut up for another 365 days?
NCDV Ambassadorship – genuinely cannot fathom what this entails, so can’t advise on this one.

Talking about finding things unfathomable, still puzzled by the trolling allegations made by LF on SM. I’m wondering who she is talking about. It’s not the lovely Cleaning Ladies of Mumsnet because we only search for truth whilst maintaining our right to remain unsilenced. (REMAIN unsilenced Mumsnet).

The trolls, whoever they may be, have had many accusations hurled at them. The accusation about putting out LF’s private address into the public domain is easy to assess – if anybody put anything out there prior to the incorporation of EP it might be an issue. Anything following that date, not so much. Ms Fraser put it there herself. Getting cross about it on SM won’t change the facts on this one.

Other accusations are a bit more vague, including ‘damaging her family’, or damaging her ‘as a mother ‘etc. No specifics, but I can sympathise. I’ve suffered damage to me and my family through threats of violence, narrowly escaping being sprung on a dark lane by 2 threatening men, having seven tyre punctures within 3 or 4 months, most of which were caused by a lovely long nail. Never found out if it was sabotage, but if it was, whoever did it had wilfull disregard for the safety of me and my children. And on the day I was attending a family funeral, my bullies started digging up the retaining banking at the bottom of my garden with a mechanical digger. Just as I was about to set off.

Yet I never publicly called these people effing morons, cockroaches or any such slur. I mean, privately we had names for them all, including ‘Gadaffi’, ‘Shxt-for-brains’, ‘Colonel Pomparse’, ‘the Pope’, ‘Fork Handles’, ‘Farmergeddon’ and ‘Leering Half Wit’ (Red-Indian handle!) In public, I called them by their given names.

Liz is free to insult and slur these never-named individuals, but there are other ways to deal with these issues (especially if they are real). For example, when one of my bullies got in my face, called me a ‘f@cking crackpot’ and held a camera to film my reaction I gave him a smile and asked him if he was OK. It can be done, Liz. You can maintain the moral high ground. Calling people bitches and witches, effing morons, and liking a comment by somebody calling the ‘trolls’ (whoever they may be) ‘cockroaches’ is pretty cringey. Imho.

Wonder if there will ever be any specifics about the trolling, or if it will remain vague and unsubstantiated. It will be interesting to see.

OP posts:
LolaKent14 · 12/07/2023 21:07

@RhinoRhino
remember also when she became a tutor? Whatever happened to that? I remember how she gushed at the joy of being able to tutor someone and I even considered asking her for lessons as I thought she might be able to help me jazz up my work presentations.
Plus the meetings with TV execs who quoted Netflix last year.
All on the back burner now. Got to get that novel written.

Tortiemiaw · 12/07/2023 21:27

Don't forget the SLANDER.

Intriguedbythis · 13/07/2023 07:28

@RhinoRhino - I have got the giggles now.

can you please apply to go on her podcast? Although, somehow, I sincerely doubt you’ll get your train fare reimbursed or a free tote bag. Those donations are ring-fenced for coffees dontyaknow

Waverleyst · 13/07/2023 11:42

RhinoRhino · 12/07/2023 20:15

Just a bit more honest feedback. Not only honest, but also free of charge ….

If Ms Fraser does take a year off from work to write a novel, I hope she has considered arranging interim cover to make sure somebody keeps on top of her work and business while she is otherwise engaged, including managing the following:

Writing travel articles – although these could poss be deferred for a year tbh;
Running Edgeway Press – although is there anything further to do now the paper has been chosen and the launch party has taken place?
Writing the Submissions Guidelines – see above;
Podcasting – could maybe just keep the ‘coming soon’ message on the website for another year;
Unsilencing women – see above re EP, and in any case if these women have been silent thus far would it really harm them to shut up for another 365 days?
NCDV Ambassadorship – genuinely cannot fathom what this entails, so can’t advise on this one.

Talking about finding things unfathomable, still puzzled by the trolling allegations made by LF on SM. I’m wondering who she is talking about. It’s not the lovely Cleaning Ladies of Mumsnet because we only search for truth whilst maintaining our right to remain unsilenced. (REMAIN unsilenced Mumsnet).

The trolls, whoever they may be, have had many accusations hurled at them. The accusation about putting out LF’s private address into the public domain is easy to assess – if anybody put anything out there prior to the incorporation of EP it might be an issue. Anything following that date, not so much. Ms Fraser put it there herself. Getting cross about it on SM won’t change the facts on this one.

Other accusations are a bit more vague, including ‘damaging her family’, or damaging her ‘as a mother ‘etc. No specifics, but I can sympathise. I’ve suffered damage to me and my family through threats of violence, narrowly escaping being sprung on a dark lane by 2 threatening men, having seven tyre punctures within 3 or 4 months, most of which were caused by a lovely long nail. Never found out if it was sabotage, but if it was, whoever did it had wilfull disregard for the safety of me and my children. And on the day I was attending a family funeral, my bullies started digging up the retaining banking at the bottom of my garden with a mechanical digger. Just as I was about to set off.

Yet I never publicly called these people effing morons, cockroaches or any such slur. I mean, privately we had names for them all, including ‘Gadaffi’, ‘Shxt-for-brains’, ‘Colonel Pomparse’, ‘the Pope’, ‘Fork Handles’, ‘Farmergeddon’ and ‘Leering Half Wit’ (Red-Indian handle!) In public, I called them by their given names.

Liz is free to insult and slur these never-named individuals, but there are other ways to deal with these issues (especially if they are real). For example, when one of my bullies got in my face, called me a ‘f@cking crackpot’ and held a camera to film my reaction I gave him a smile and asked him if he was OK. It can be done, Liz. You can maintain the moral high ground. Calling people bitches and witches, effing morons, and liking a comment by somebody calling the ‘trolls’ (whoever they may be) ‘cockroaches’ is pretty cringey. Imho.

Wonder if there will ever be any specifics about the trolling, or if it will remain vague and unsubstantiated. It will be interesting to see.

Yes. The specifics are always missing.

Waverleyst · 13/07/2023 11:48

LolaKent14 · 12/07/2023 21:07

@RhinoRhino
remember also when she became a tutor? Whatever happened to that? I remember how she gushed at the joy of being able to tutor someone and I even considered asking her for lessons as I thought she might be able to help me jazz up my work presentations.
Plus the meetings with TV execs who quoted Netflix last year.
All on the back burner now. Got to get that novel written.

I missed the Netflix flex. Now that Netflix has dropped the ‘other’ storyteller, maybe they’ve established there’s no audience for those who tell the ‘truth’!

Umbrella99 · 14/07/2023 22:58

I’m genuinely curious as to why not only does she put up post after post essentially saying the same things over and over but then she retweets or reposts those posts again and again too. It’s desperate

Shortbread49 · 15/07/2023 07:59

She is desperate for attention and a man hence all the semi-naked (and naked ! Shots very odd behaviour I think she could do with a few large dinners) it is repetitive you could predict what she is going to post next. Sad to be her age and living your whole life through instagram

Shortbread49 · 15/07/2023 08:55

And I would t be happy if I had been in the pub with her and then my picture was on her instagram too wonder if she asks them if they mind first ? And the comments are a touch patronising

Burgundybrin · 15/07/2023 09:04

I thought the body language of all the members of "Liz's Village WhatsApp group" in these latest photos say it all. There are a lot of surprised eye rolls there.

LolaKent14 · 15/07/2023 09:21

I don’t know what to say about the latest post. None of the ladies in the pics are tagged, no names mentioned. Are they part of ‘the village’. Did they consent to this all being posted? I am going through some very troublesome times this year but the last thing I want to do is post continuously on social media about my life. I am one of those people that bought into the woe is me storyline. Donated, bought books to support someone I thought was really struggling in life. I was also struggling but wanted to help someone out. Watching everything now I feel quite concerned for her well being. It’s just all too much living your life on social media is not s good thing at all.

AppleBlossomTimeNow · 15/07/2023 10:07

'Liz's Village' the name of the Whatsapp group...putting herself at the centre again. I wonder how many mums she's helped out. I also despise the way she thinks being a single/solo/lone parent entitles you to lean on other parents. I'm a single mum & would hate to use my friends in that way. And the photos of a night out...I'd be mortified.

LolaKent14 · 15/07/2023 10:14

And my last words on this today as it’s in my head. From all these highs come a low and when you put your entire life and I mean ‘entire’ life on social media; you have to be prepared that people will discuss, dissect and have an opinion. That’s not trolling, that’s life on MSM.

HouseofHolbein · 15/07/2023 12:13

I went out last night with some of my village 😉 had a whale of a time. Didn't spend half the night posing for arty photos of me having fun I just got on with having fun 😊

There are a few fairly blurry shots which I won't be sharing on social media but I will keep them as a fantastic memory of a brilliant night out.

I think my version of a night out is a lot more normal than the insta version.

And I'm always up for shots 🤣🤣

Shortbread49 · 15/07/2023 12:19

The lady on the left is thinking ‘oh no here is this woman who goes on about herself and spends the whole time taking photos of herself, Hope can I escape out to the ladies’

RhinoRhino · 15/07/2023 16:16

@Beanchops comment over on TL has got me thinking. What is old Chief Constable Jason Dogshooter waiting for? What is holding him up? Surely he’s got the ‘The Moron and the Personal Address’ case cracked by now? Even Morse with his pub visits, classical music, sardonic comments to Lewis and doomed romances with the glamorous yet strangely tragic chief suspect got the thing solved within a couple of hours.

If it helps Dogshooter, the moron (or MORON, if you prefer) who put Ms Fraser’s address into the public domain could still be in the area. Best to start at the centre of the mystery and work outwards. This way the case could be cracked in a few minutes, leaving plenty of time for boozing, a theatre trip for the Magic Flute, and at least 16 sarcastic comments to Lewis. Oh, and a bit of unlikely action with some posh bird who may or may not have done the crime!

Thank you @Beanchops for the reminder that this case remains unsolved, and happy to split the reward!😂(Could be a start-up fund for the Tote bags ........)

OP posts:
Beanchops · 15/07/2023 20:58

Funnily enough I was thinking about you today @RhinoRhino and the lack of sausage based comments on TL. When are you going to trot your little hooves over to TL( no pressure honestly!🤣)
Maybe this detective work isn’t as easy as it looks on the telly, but I think Rhino and Chops could crack the case , like Cagney and Lacey but with tote bags and sausages.

Glad this thread is still going… 🧹🍌🌭

RhinoRhino · 16/07/2023 10:31

Well, there is another ongoing police investigation – allegedly – @Beanchops , so maybe us meddling kids could get in there first and solve it for Dogshooter.

Alleged Victim “I want to report a crime of nastiness towards a single parent”
Chops & Rhino “OK. Let’s take down some notes”
AV “Bitches and witches and morons and cockroaches …….”
Chops & Rhino “Is that what they have been calling you?”
AV “No. That’s what I have been calling them. And that’s without the effing effs…….”
Chops & Rhino “Oh. And who are ‘they’?”
AV “They’re bitches and witches and morons and cockroaches. And they can’t run as fast as me”
Chops & Rhino “OK, so what have they said?”
AV “Among other things, that I abandoned my family”
Chops & Rhino “And why would they have said that?”
AV “Because I wrote a book”
Chops & Rhino “A book? About abandoning your family?”
AV “No. About falling in love”
Chops & Rhino “So, why would they claim you abandoned your family?”
AV “Because they are bitches and witches and morons and cockroaches”

Chops and Rhino do a quick speed-read of Coming Clean ….

Chops & Rhino “Who moved to the 2-bedroomed flat in Venice?”
AV “Me, the love of my life, and some alcoholic I stole from his wife”
Chops & Rhino “But not your teenage children?”
AV “They were already in their 30’s and had left home”
Chops & Rhino “Are you SURE about that? Are you SURE they weren’t still teenagers and two of them still at school?”
AV “I’m certain they were in their 30’s”
Chops & Rhino “And how old were you when you moved to Venice?”
AV “Early 40’s”
Chops & Rhino “And how old were you when you had your eldest?”
AV “23. And gorgeous. And a really fast runner. But what about the bitches and witches and morons and cockroaches?”
Chops & Rhino “Well, if what they say is accurate, and if the information was already in the public domain – put there by you, in fact - then there is nothing we can do about it. Even if you have a protected characteristic we don't think the truth could possibly be deemed hate speech …..”
Victim “But yes. YES, I have a protected characteristic. I am one of a teeny weeny minority”
Chops & Rhino “And what is this minority?”
AV “Privileged women who have no financial requirement to work”
Chops & Rhino “Yes, indeed. You are in a very small minority. But such privilege is not a protected characteristic. I’m afraid there is no case here to answer. Goodbye, AV, and a word of advice. Though you are within your right to call people bitches and witches and morons and cockroaches, such language is inflammatory and uncalled for. It might make people think you are unkind. You wouldn’t want that, now, would you?”

OP posts:
Tortiemiaw · 16/07/2023 10:43

😄😄😄😄

LolaKent14 · 16/07/2023 11:12

This ☝️☝️☝️☝️
👏👏👏👏👏👏

Melszone · 16/07/2023 15:19

The UK’s foremost parenting expert shares today’s lesson IN THE PUBLIC DOMAIN. “While some label educating kids as “pushy,” I perceive it as opening up the world to them.”

I’m just ringing the bleeding obvious bell here!

However, she fails, the UK’s foremost parenting expert to explain the impact of abandoning teenage children and how it fulfils a lifelong passion. Can anyone help me out here?

As a teacher, parents often tell me about how they educate their children (which I consider as parenting, but hey 🤷‍♀️). However, they rarely tell me about how they abandoned their kids 😬. So, if any of you who have done this, please do let me know how this educates and benefits children.

This applies to mums as well. It's not just dads who abandon their family for a supposedly better life with a lover and new family, only to realise that the one they had was infinitely better :-)

You can never be lonely or bored if you love learning, I reckon. Oh, and learning shit is BLOODY GOOD FUN. You shoulda see my FACE when you tell be the benefits of being abandoned as a child 😮‍💨

Raffington55 · 16/07/2023 23:05

Burgundybrin · 15/07/2023 09:04

I thought the body language of all the members of "Liz's Village WhatsApp group" in these latest photos say it all. There are a lot of surprised eye rolls there.

These pics!!!!

Umbrella99 · 17/07/2023 10:31

I am curious as to whether there is an entire room in one of her homes to accommodate hundreds of identical black vest tops or whether, a la converse, she wears the same manky one for everything (I am a fairly frugal wardrobe person myself but not in the same league here)

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