Coming Clean by Liz Fraser

[RhinoRhino]

A couple of threads that I had posted on relating to the Memoir ‘Coming Clean’ by Liz Fraser have been deleted from the MN site, apparently due to non-compliance of the MN guidelines from the posters. MN are obviously well within their rights to delete threads if they demonstrably fail to comply with their guidelines, nevertheless I feel strongly that MN posters are given a platform to critique this book, and also any other public ventures by this author. It would be neither fair nor right that posters are completely silenced in this particular matter.

As such, and in line with Mumsnet not seeing “anything wrong with honest feedback” I would like to make the comment that Coming Clean as a Memoir falls short due to the shaky and not entirely truthful narrative. There are certain facts contained within this memoir that are easily disprovable (for example, relating to the marital status of both author and her partner when they started their ill-fated affair), which leaves a massive question mark over the rest of the book. Is it entirely reasonable to make money from something that is promoted as truthful when it is, in fact, not entirely true?

I think there are people whose lives have been negatively impacted by the book and its subject matter, and I hope that MN will agree that these people should have a voice, as should anybody who wants to comment on a published piece of work.

As long as posters align their comments with the MN guidelines, this is a topic that people may wish to keep discussing, and also keep in the public domain. And if MN wants to provide a set of rules particular to this thread – certainly if they are arbitrary and differ from the general guidelines - I am sure it would be very helpful.

Mumsnet, please help us to help each other by keeping in the public domain something that us silenced mums feel should be out there.

Oh, apparently she was offered a FOURTH job yesterday. Isn't that something? Not taking it because she has to take care of the scuff marks of her life having been truly DECIMATED. She claims she talks to 'very many women' and helps them - I'm sure this is bollocks. Signs are not looking good. I think some kind of meltdown is imminent and almost feel bad posting this. But FFS - please stop lying - a fourth job offer. This is delusional behaviour aimed to wind someone up. It's not working hence all the frenzied 'when you've been DECIMATED' statements. She needs to calm down and go home.

Fucks sake 'scuff marks'? My 'scuff marks' were bloody huge holes in the sodding brick walls of my life and I've just about come through the other side (56 years later. Won't go into it as its dull and unpleasant and I'm not HER!) but really?
Really??? She understands and talks to women about their 'scuff marks'. I'm amazed she's not a highly in demand consultant psychologist with all her experience and knowledge

Wonder if she thinks about the decimation she caused to her childrens lives and other wives

I’m currently looking for work and I can assure you the interview process is far more rigorous than this. Actually getting an interview is tough and I’ve got a solid work history.

I can only assume she’s securing a different kind of work to me. I don’t have to strip down to a torn bikini.

but do you get shots of your head from behind during your interviews? Or wear converse? The Marriott is a global chain does she take us for fools?

I've never seen anyone happen so many coincidences so bloody often. Can you believe it? This time she met an old lady on the bus who spontaneously revealed that she's also a victim of domestic abuse. What are the odds of that happening? 🤷‍♀️ Next to zero I’d say. Especially sharing with a tourist.

I rarely share with anyone that I suffered DA since sharing hasn't brought about any positive outcomes unless I really know the person. Anyway, I view myself as do much more than a victim, so if I decide to share, it will be about my accomplishments and experiences. I guess you have to have some to be able to share them 🤷‍♀️

Is it me, or is it a bit odd to take a photo of coffee being served up by someone you've just met. If I invited someone in for coffee and they whipped out their phone to photograph me carrying it through I'd find it odd. The other day she took a photo of her plate when she was having a business lunch in London .I wouldn't dare do that during a business lunch, and if someone I was was working with did it strangely unprofessional.

Oh, and has Liz ever mentioned she doesn't dye her hair? Her desperation to let people know how youthful she is at 48 is also....odd.

Liz's behaviour definitely suggests she has experienced trauma. But I've noticed people who have experienced trauma behave as an adult at the stage the trauma occurred. I would suspect Liz experienced trauma as a young teen, because that is how she behaves now, as an adult.

That is quite true. I look back at my behaviour before I 'got well' (the only term I can think of to describe it) and I was acting like a child, even though I was a professional mother of 3! Not in the same way as her but it is a good point.

However, I was still compassionate and kind, didn't tell bizarre and outrageous lies, accepted that I could be in the wrong at times, and certainly didn't dance in black and white!~

Noone is saying anything about the scuzz in her teeth in her business meeting rictus grin shots yesterday?!?

I also agree. I carried childhood traumas forward with me. This resulted in marrying a man I shouldn’t have, who abused me. I think I was almost “asking for it” if this makes sense? I’ve recently gone back to professional, medical counselling. I could feel the wheels coming off my bus. I can see traits of myself in Liz. Most of all wanting to be and to feel loved and to have a reason and a purpose. Having a child didn’t fill the gap I needed filling. I think this is the same for Liz. Perhaps why it was so easy for her to leave her 3 children. I have to take long breaks from looking at her posts because I can see so much of me in her. Granted, I’ve not had affairs or abandoned spouses and children, quite the opposite in fact. However, the need to be loved and to feel loved is an aching chasm. I’m not sure it will ever be filled for me, however loved I might be. Childhood trauma and abandonment cuts very deep. I’m well into my 50s and still yearn to be hoisted on to an adults lap and feel safe. My brothers and I were left to emotionally mind ourselves. Our parents, in their late 80s now, were war children. Both only children. Both with fathers in the military. I don’t think they learned how to love and we were the sorry results of this.

@Physicsrevision ❤️❤️😘

@Physicsrevision I'm not sure what to say other than thank you for sharing your story. You obviously have awareness as to what it is in your past which affects your present, and I hope the counselling helps. Massive kudos to you.😘

I love the way she says 'I very rarely post DIY of my life in Venice', as if this is a treat. We've clearly been missing out, big time, and should be extremely grateful to watch her holding a paintbrush 😆

I leave the road, let alone the house, when My H starts doing anything DIY -y. Why do I want to watch her and her simpering pep (as in all about meeeeee) chat as well?

Does he also wear a torn bikini?!

Oh God....that's given my day a most unwanted turn.

😂

My thoughts. Unless that glass is very very big, that’s not so much a bottle of Prosecco as a mini one person serving. Not really a big deal then. My second thought is that for someone who doesn’t drink she seems to spend a lot of time glamorising alcohol on the ‘gram. All the odder given her vitriol against her ex and his battle with alcohol. For someone who has talked often about his she never eats our it’s odd how often she eats out. For someone who can’t abide coffee snobbery (hmm why might that be???!) there are a lot of pretentious shots of … coffee. The IG at the moment is an odd mix of gurning and condescending travel stuff. Odd

The glamourising of alcohol is very odd. But she doesn't seem to eat out that much. If she does, the food is photographed so she can show Mike that her food photography is just as good as his (it isn't). I bet he's not looking at her Insta account though

That prosecco post: I've been here, I've been there. I, I, I. Me, Me, Me. All about Liz. The whole summer. What about poor Scout? How many play dates has she had? How many friends round for tea? She has had only her selfish, exercise- and ex-obsessed mother for company. Poor thing. And FFS Liz, you can tell us you've been 'seduced' 36,000 times - no one believes you. And Mike doesn't give a toss. Try and harness the energy you expend hating him thinking more about giving your 5 year old a normal childhood. Stop cramming her into a pushchair and making her take what you consider to be sexy shots of you all day.

@Umbrellaisback “For someone who has talked often about his she never eats our it’s odd how often she eats out. For someone who can’t abide coffee snobbery (hmm why might that be???!) there are a lot of pretentious shots of … coffee”.

Absolutely

And for someone who has talked often about truth, there have been lots of falsehoods, for someone who talks about love there has been lots of hate, for someone who talks about work there’s rarely anything to show for it, for someone who talks about her publishing company it’s never gone anywhere, for somebody who sells themselves as a parenting expert there have been some very dubious parenting choices etc etc.

Think there’s a bit of a theme here.

SM veers very much towards fantasy for this one.

Solo to single to solo to single to 🤔

She had a day or two for ME among the parenting she had a whole trip to Copenhagen and a writers retreat . For a parenting expert she writes as though she doesn’t like parenting and finds it hard work. I hope her ex husband found time for me when being an independent parent of 3

For a parenting expert she writes as though she doesn’t like parenting and finds it hard work.

Exactly!!!!!!

She obviously really doesn't like parenting.

And the crumpled morning face - which is looking so smooth thanks to a filter It's all "this is what you could be waking up to men....I am SINGLE you know..." Although with Liz, it wouldn't make a difference if she were single or not.