Coming Clean by Liz Fraser

[RhinoRhino]

A couple of threads that I had posted on relating to the Memoir ‘Coming Clean’ by Liz Fraser have been deleted from the MN site, apparently due to non-compliance of the MN guidelines from the posters. MN are obviously well within their rights to delete threads if they demonstrably fail to comply with their guidelines, nevertheless I feel strongly that MN posters are given a platform to critique this book, and also any other public ventures by this author. It would be neither fair nor right that posters are completely silenced in this particular matter.

As such, and in line with Mumsnet not seeing “anything wrong with honest feedback” I would like to make the comment that Coming Clean as a Memoir falls short due to the shaky and not entirely truthful narrative. There are certain facts contained within this memoir that are easily disprovable (for example, relating to the marital status of both author and her partner when they started their ill-fated affair), which leaves a massive question mark over the rest of the book. Is it entirely reasonable to make money from something that is promoted as truthful when it is, in fact, not entirely true?

I think there are people whose lives have been negatively impacted by the book and its subject matter, and I hope that MN will agree that these people should have a voice, as should anybody who wants to comment on a published piece of work.

As long as posters align their comments with the MN guidelines, this is a topic that people may wish to keep discussing, and also keep in the public domain. And if MN wants to provide a set of rules particular to this thread – certainly if they are arbitrary and differ from the general guidelines - I am sure it would be very helpful.

Mumsnet, please help us to help each other by keeping in the public domain something that us silenced mums feel should be out there.

I think everyone has nailed this on the head. She posts about how happy she is and having ME time. Able to do everything she needs to do. But when you have free time that’s when you see if any of your friends want to do something. Meet up, have lunch, dinner etc. go see a movie, do a spa day together if you are lucky enough to be able to afford all of this of course. With adult children she should have these friends but it’s clear she doesn’t and all the people she meets up with are acquaintances not friends.
I am going through some personal issues right now and have had invites from friends to go stay with them. I’ve been out to dinner, lunches etc.
The fact she has none of this leads me to believe she has very few real friends. She posts lots of happy pictures and arty things to give that insta life glow. But behind the scenes it’s very different I’d think.
We should feel blessed that we live authentically and pity those who can’t or won’t.

Another 'look at me' post among trillions. Does she ever post about the news? Nope. Politics? Nope. Other current affairs? Nope. Foreign affairs? Nope. Most people on Twitter talk about what's going on in the world or closer to home.

She has to be the most self obsessed person on the planet. It's Radio Liz 24/7. Look at me! Look at me! Doesn't she get embarrassed that people might be sick of her utter self absorption. It's frightening. And those silly pool shots '8am, an hour's swimming', designed to make people feel like lesser mortals for not behaving like crazed body-obsessed freaks that must brutally burn off every calorie the moment it's digested.

And Oh!! What a surprise - one of her children took this photo (probably to remind them what she looked like.

It would be novel to see her show some of the great work she’s doing as ambassador of the National Centre for Domestic Violence rather than her gym honed body. Oh? She’s not done any? 😜

Yes does she not realise that being an ambassador means doing some actual ambassadoring?

These 'terrible things' that broke Liz's heartbeat and stopped her eating cheese and biscuits (!) for years - they can't be connected to Mike. If they were, why has he been given shared custody of their daughter? She has tried to smear him over and over and it seems to be slipping back into her posts - along with all the 'I nearly died due to abuse' drama. But no judge is going to give custody to a monster. You can't have it both ways, Liz. Skipping around Europe proclaiming how happy you are solo without Scout on your freedom breaks, then hinting at darks things, past violence and near death once again when you realise Mike really is NOT paying you one iota of attention.

Perhaps the lack of response from M (thank god) means she really is reaching further back into her murky past to smear others, I.e. He Who Cannot Be Named. But I doubt HWCBN is paying any attention and she can’t name him anyway so it’s all a bit pointless.

she’s just tedious …

Well it's all very sad. Finally Liz socialises. She couldn't socialise for years, ultimately as a result of her own poor choices, and I think she does realise that. It's a shame she hasn't been able to talk easily and calmly and her heart wasn't beating to a rhythm she liked when she socialised earlier in the year. But Liz is obviously still finding herself, in a way that most people do before they get marry and have children.

Socialising sounds pretty positive to me. After all, having one 'favourite person' to buffer all her emotions and respond to all her needs went catastrophically wrong. For both of them. (And the child.) If she's socialising now, maybe all the anger and negativity associated with being left by the favourite person may finally start to subside.

Here's hoping.

And in any case, why is she still so fixated on the doomed relationship with Mike? If that was me, I would be cringing with embarrassment and trying to write it off as some sort of mid-life crisis. What on earth persuaded Ms Fraser that Mike was a catch? Did he ever take her out on a date? Did he ever do anything nice for her? Was he a responsible partner and father? Was he ever reliable? Or did he just 'bang' her against the kitchen cabinets, get bladdered, sulk, lose jobs, break phones, go skateboarding and take dismal photographs of drain covers and old men with tattoos? He wasn't even expert in hiding his booze bottles, since Liz would regularly find them. For all the obsession that LF still has with Mike, there has never been one single obvious redeeming feature of the bloke.

As I said, it's just embarrassing to be so hooked for so many years on this average (and even that's being generous) man. With no sign of let up on the obsession.

All the stuff about Mike is public domain info, taken from Coming Clean. Other relationships are not and are subject to injunction. Breaching the injunction, in however mild a form, risks having the thread closed.

I think she's still obsessed with Mike because he left her. Nobody leaves Liz Fraser - she's does the leaving, thank you very much. Look how fabulous she thinks she is (on the outside) from all her posts. She can't countenance for one second that he rejected her. I expect he is the only man who has ever walked out on her. Harry ended their marriage, yes, but she was in love with Mike at the time, and had him to fall back on. And look how she'd treated Harry anyway. Years of affairs.

Was she in love with Mike? In love with the idea of love? Flattered to have the attention of a much younger man, age and aging being her Achilles Heel, albeit through beer goggles?

@Diamondstars possibly in love, but also loving the fact that she had taken him from his lovely wife - that, in her mind, she was the chosen one (not really, she just overpowered him I think, he did as he was told). I think she enjoyed the fact that another woman was suffering. That she had 'won'. Same with the wife of the previous affair that can't be named. Such cruelty. And look how badly she treated Harry. But you don't get away with it. She's learning this now. The chickens have come home to roost.

The level of self-obsession is just unbelievable. And very unhealthy. How is this woman going to be able to deliver printable copy to travel mags (if that’s what she’s supposed to be doing) if her only topic of interest is herself. Does she expect the editors / readers to find her as endlessly fascinating as she does?
Also, if I were the owner of a small business (like that coffee shop) who had given her money to “sponsor” her Edgeway podcast, I think I’d be asking for my money back. (Because it’s not happening is it). If I were them, I think I’d be feeling pretty ripped off watching her living her best life in fancy locations all over Europe. You can’t exploit the goodwill of small businesses like that, they can’t afford to write things off like, say, a big chain could.

"As I return to my professional working life after YEARS on hold 🎉✍🏻🧡 it would help me to have some testimonials from people whose lives I have helped or influenced in some way, through my writings and photos here.

MANY of you have already written to me over the years to tell me how much I've helped, inspired, encouraged, influenced, changed your lives for the better in some way, made you go and travel to a new place etc, but they are all in DMs and messages so far back I will never find them again - and that makes me so sad, as I value them all!"

Un-fucking-believable

I really really want to know where we are with Edgeway Press. It's like it just never existed. I find it all so bizarre. She was so excited and over the top.
Not a mention for weeks...

I’m really not belittling anyone’s mental health struggles… but she’s bonkers isn’t she?

@SplatPancake 😁

I love the 'gosh, well I HAVE to block everyone who doesn't praise me because EVIL TROLLS' comment she's put in reply to someone suggesting she may not get much engagement as she deletes everyone who doesn't tell her she is amazing, brave and talented. 😁

I just saw that...bloody hell, what codswallop! And how long I wonder before that comment is removed?

She really is the absolute pits!

Re today’s fishing for compliments: How much has Ms Fraser helped me?

She’s made me realise that in comparison to her life, mine is absolutely wonderful! Thank you Liz. You’ve made me realise I have great relationships with friends (old and new), family, food and exercise; that I am emotionally pretty stable, content, appreciative, grateful; that my work life is mostly satisfying and rewarding (utilizing my degree and professional qualifications); that my social life is fun and makes me happy; and that when I am enjoying time with other people and laughing my head off I could not give one shit how I look; in fact most of the time I could not give a shit how I look although I know how to make an effort when necessary; that I am very lucky to have great adult kids whose company I enjoy and whose wellbeing I have always prioritized above any short-term self-interest of mine; that I have a mostly lovely, mostly happy home; and that any setbacks that appear on the horizon will not destroy me because I am resourceful, resilient and have a great support system around me; and that any previous setbacks have been weathered (and I have managed to continue to work during life-traumas) and life has moved onwards and upwards. I compare my life to Liz’s and there is nothing in hers which makes me envious! Even running. She is an amazing runner, and should feel justifiably proud. I run (slowly) when I want to, and I enjoy it when it goes right. Running does not rule me, and if I’m not feeling it then I walk home and do it again another day. Liz is much more aesthetically pleasing than me, but there is absolutely not a cat in hell’s chance I would trade my life for her looks, privilege, addictions, emotional instability and mental health issues.

Also, Coming Clean is now my sort of permanent - slightly more up-market - Take A Break. I used to regularly buy the exploitative rag to amaze myself at the true-life stories in there, and to confirm to myself that my life-choices were probably comparatively pretty sound. Since Coming Clean I do not need a regular supply of real life stories of women whose search for Prince Charming gets derailed after 2 months. No more “He were gorgeous. He moved in after a week” accompanied by a photograph of a gormless tattooed toothless halfwit, whose conduct always fell somewhat short of expectations, often resulting in arson, fraud, GBH and a prison sentence. Nope, Liz provided the middle class Oxbridge/Venice version in Coming Clean, but in reality there’s little difference between her relationship experience with Mike and Kylie-Dawn’s with Jensen-Lee from Hartlepool. It’s actually quite gratifying to know that there is no class divide regarding gullible women falling for unworthy men. And that a top education does not preclude one from behaving like an absolute idiot.

Thank you so much Liz. I appreciate it.

I love the way Liz says she has to block people who disagree with her or take her to task on Instagram 'for my safety'.

I wonder, does she parade herself around half naked on Instagram as often she can for her own safety too? I mean, she's so indiscreet the world knows where she lives.

She blocks people for her own safety 🤣

@Raffington55 Blocking people who disagree with her probably IS for her own safety. Those uncontrollable rages cannot be healthy, so it probably is best for her to avoid debate and inconvenient questions! Anybody else could deal with differing viewpoints with a bit of humour and humility, but Liz absolutely cannot cope with dissenters. Sad really! What a waste of an education.

@RhinoRhino your last 2 posts are absolutely spot on!