Would you read a novel that started off like this?

[DameIfYouDo]

The pain was excruciating but the humiliation was worse. My brother had told on me. I guess it took the heat off him if he could focus it on me.

I sat sobbing quietly at the table when Dad arrived home from work. I hadn't been allowed to move from the table since the beating. I knew better than to tell him why I was crying as she was hovering; listening - all powerful, totally in control. I guess he knew why I was crying.

I knew I wouldn't be allowed to sit on his knee that day, so I choked down my dinner. I don't recall what dinner was. It might have been nice.

The following day I woke up and was driven to school by my mother. Every stride up to the school gates was painful and a reminder that I was different.

I had been doing handstands the previous day with a short pleated skirt. In front of the boys. That was the mortal sin. I had done it in front of the boys. Showing off my knickers apparently. I was 8. I still remember what the items of clothing were but not what that dinner had been. I hid those clothes in my wardrobe and they were never worn again. In my innocence I thought they were at fault. They were now the reason for the beating; my clothes.

Apparently was used to describe how the mother thought of her. Not how she thought of herself.

I'm a complete beginner here, so I haven't a clue how to write. I hope I'm not wasting peoples' time.

Writing is subjective though. Different people like different things. I have a friend who’s a poet. I personally don’t like her writing, but she’s happy and enjoys writing.

Write for yourself. Write what makes you happy.

I actually thought your story sounded interesting. I’d persevere with it. See where you end up.

@DameIfYouDo

It's not crap.
Just imagine it was art? Ok, so you're in the sketching stage. You've put it out there, the basic outlines and some of the shading, but you need some help with some of the depth perception and we don't know where you're going yet, so not sure of the colour scheme (continued story line). Its not a work of art yet, it needs fine tuning. Writers are the people who write most importantly, but also know that you need to keep rewriting and building on it, and getting some feedback, some Fresh eyes sometimes. And yes, editing constantly. That's how you get from a sketch, to a work of art, so to speak.

What I do is write the whole thing down to get the story out, and then worry about the style and details after. Sometimes the details come to me and I note them down but don't add them in yet, because at the time they come to me they seem to fit, bit often don't in the end. So I build a story, and I build an "imagery bank" to embellish it later. Some people have perfect punctuation, but most of us edit it. I read mine out loud to see how it flows.

Kudos though honestly, I would not be brave enough to post on here so that's a big step. It can be difficult to have something you've created put under the microscope. Its also the best way to hone your skill.

Thanks Angela.
But should I just stop writing? I delude myself that I can write. I don't think I can though. Would I be better off just taking up a class to amuse myself? Or trying to write professionally and failing.

You can write, it shows suspense and emotion which is what will get readers. However you maybe need to change your genre, a child being abused by a parent isn’t going to get you a positive reaction as a first time author. So maybe spin it and go into a fantasy realm instead, your writing style is good. Show something less upsetting to the real world by putting it in a different age or land. What you wrote is maybe too real life and upsetting for people to want to read as enjoyment

Why don't you take some writing classes? They are very informative and you get a lot of constructive criticism from classmates and tutor, even in online classes.

I don't leave the house which is why I don't take up classes.

The rest of the book isn't like that. It's why she has chosen a career she has.

You have talent OP, but you don’t need to shock people to achieve it

No you should write more
I liked it. You had started to build a setting, a character, a picture, a story. It was emotive and interesting.

Writing is incredibly competitive, so a professional career as a writer is unattainable for most people. You only have to look at the level of self publishing. And basically the writing that sells is what is popular
True life/trauma/misery etc. Are not very marketable. Unfortunately people would rather read romance or thrillers.
Even if you decide to write a different genre ultimately, though, the skills are pretty transferable from one genre to another.

Writing for pleasure and writing for profit are very different things. Some people do manage to do both. That's the dream!

From the feedback, it wouldn't be an opening chapter. I have other chapters.

Personally, no. But do keep up the writing :) Passion is important and if you have a story inside you, then it should be told.

You're all very kind. Thanks.

Most books are rewritten multiple times before ready for publication, stick with it until you feel it’s ready. Not everyone will love it, personal choice in books is varied. Self publishing now helps :)

I write anyway. If that could make me money, hell yes.

Think I'll just write for myself. I'm not strong enough to take a bollocking or rejection. It's a good way to get shit out of your head.

Think carefully about your structure -
If you want nobody to believe the mother did it, including the reader, then you can’t open the book with her doing it.

Also have a think about narrative voice - you talk about language being as the child would use, then as the mother would but both are part of the narrative, not reported speech and coming 2 paragraphs apart that’s a jolt in the reading tone. Also, you ask about use of 1st person or 3rd person - whose story are you telling? That’s what you need to consider.

Fenella, I will try to read that again a few times as there is a lot in there. I'm too tired right now. Thanks for commenting.

As for the mother doing/not doing it, I want everyone to like the mother character without and despite knowing what she does. If that makes sense.

I want the reader to like the mother character.

I took a writing class online, OP. It was very informative.
If you want the mother to be liked, you probably don't want our first impression of her to be a person who soundly beats her child for some spurious reason...

Think I'll just write for myself.

That's the best advice of all! Never write the story you think other people want to read, write what you want to, from the heart.

Don't give up!

@IvanaPee It was about the death of a young woman.

Ok, now you're all being nice lol. I assume that's because I can't write.