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Original poster

Rights of OW. Not married to my father. My parents not divorced.

266 replies

IdoHaveAName · 03/08/2017 17:12

Last year, my grandmother died leaving her house to my father. He already owns the farm as his father signed it over to him before he died.

I had reason to need to stay at my grandmother's house last year for a few weeks. My father was happy with this.

Anyway, I invited my own mother to visit me and the OW (who has been with my father 20 years) went apeshit.

Anyway, facebook was involved later that day. Consequently OW drove out to the farm/house to tell me with outstretched arms that 'I OWN ALL THIS'.

I told her that she was as thick as shit and my father is still married to my mother. She owns nothing.

My parents are legally separated but not divorced. Am I correct in thinking OW owns nothing but the shit on her boots?

OP posts:
PigletWasPoohsFriend · 03/08/2017 18:43

If I was your mum, I'd be applying some pressure now to protect my dc

The DC are days and the DM from what the OP has said has the ex marital home.

EvelynWardrobe · 03/08/2017 18:46

So the yelling happened over a year ago and the ICU event was relatively recent? Does your father have a driving licence? They can be used in lieu of passports for airlines, can't they, even if his passport had expired.

Original poster
IdoHaveAName · 03/08/2017 18:50

I was fast asleep so I didn't know anything about the kerfuffle over the family being called in. I woke up and thought I had two babies - one I had rescued from the Mediterranean and one from a petrol station. I even told the doctors about this.

OP posts:
itstoolateforthisbollox · 03/08/2017 18:51

They can be used in lieu of passports for airlines, can't they, even if his passport had expired

No, of course they can't.

InvisibleKittenAttack · 03/08/2017 18:51

I hate this idea on MN that you can't think badly of the OW because "they don't owe you anything" or "they didn't make any legally binding promises" - basically people who say this seem to think it's ok to treat other human beings like shit on your shoe unless the law forces you to act decently. The idea that the default position is "cuntiness" - and "common decency" is for the minority is depressing as fuck.

Anyway, get some legal advice, land might be above all for your dad, but he could accidentally leave you and your DB in a shitty situation he doesn't want by inaction.

This woman has proved she's not prepared to act with common decency, be prepared she might make moves to nick your/your brothers inheritance. If she can act that way to her husband, do not assume she's not consider this beneath her.

Original poster
IdoHaveAName · 03/08/2017 18:54

I rang my mother and asked her about the baby. In my head, I had sent the baby over to be cared for in Ireland. Told the doctors I had two children. I have one. In fact while on my first phonecall with my daughter I was asking her about 'the baby'. ICU drugs really fuck with you. Thankfully my own dd wasn't traumatised about this new imagined sibling. I was so convinced. It was so real.

OP posts:
Original poster
IdoHaveAName · 03/08/2017 18:56

I can't seek legal advice on a situation I know nothing about. I know nothing about my father's arrangements.

OP posts:
viques · 03/08/2017 18:59

OMG, who do you take after with your dirty mouth and spiteful ways OP? if it is your mother I can understand why your da turned to someone else.

Original poster
IdoHaveAName · 03/08/2017 19:02

I don't think she has any claim to anything. She has always claimed lone parents so has never declared living with my father. My father appears to use his mother's house as his address for everything.

OP posts:
sweetbabboo · 03/08/2017 19:05

You can, or at least could, use a driving license flying between U.K. and Ireland. And it's allowed on the ferries too.

HorridHenryrule · 03/08/2017 19:06

Viques on my phone it wants to correct your name as a virus. Are you normally this nice to people you never met before or do you no something we don't know. The only spiteful post I have read is yours.

itstoolateforthisbollox · 03/08/2017 19:06

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

AvoidingCallenetics · 03/08/2017 19:06

Viques, that's a bit rich. Calling the OP spiteful while saying her dad was right to cheat. Does the irony of your post escape you?

itstoolateforthisbollox · 03/08/2017 19:07

You can, or at least could, use a driving license flying between U.K. and Ireland

A long time ago you could. Not for many years.

WhittlingIhopMonkey · 03/08/2017 19:12

Aer Lingus still allow you to fly on a driver's license. Ryanair insist on a passport.

You can also get the ferry without a passport.

ContinuingPrim · 03/08/2017 19:19

I have known a similar situation in England. The OW dumped a friend of mine to take up with a very much older man who was very wealthy. He told her she would get the house etc. His grown-up kids loathed her but she stuck it out because she was going to be taken care of, she asured everyone. Turned out the house wasn't his to will- it was one of those old estates that is subject to restrictions so that it always goes to the eldest son. Who gave her a week to clear out.

BrieAndChilli · 03/08/2017 19:25

DHs nan and grandad were seperated but never divorced. Otha went on to have 40 year long relationships and the grandad had another child with this woman.
DHs grandad died suddenly and as he didn't have a will everything went to DHs nan, she's not a spiteful or grabby woman so declined it and it was split between ALL of the grandad children including the one from the 2nd relationship.

lovemycatsanddog · 03/08/2017 19:29

Even if there is a will, your mother can contest it if she stays married to your father,not divorced, and even if divorced a first wife can contest it, here anyway, not sure about Irish laws though
So can the children

St01c · 03/08/2017 19:35

I;m Irish and I've never in my life called anybody a walking c*nt. So I agree it seems misogynist. It's not language I''m comfortable with. I do sympathise with the situation but I don't think you need to worry that she can take the farm from under you if your Dad dies. I am not the OW but I feel a bit sorry for her. She's foolishly invested 20 years in to a man and she has nothing to show for it. I hope she didn't play house and do wife work for him.

TroubleinDaFamily · 03/08/2017 19:39

My uncle and aunt separated acrimoniously, there was no divorce at the time.

They were separated a good twenty years when she died, the house went to him, she had never made a will

When the adult children tried to challenge it, his very Dublin and very to the point solicitor said, thing is dead is dead and the house is his. Grin

MissBabbs · 03/08/2017 19:55

Sounds like he will outlive you all anyway so there's nothing to argue about!

isadoradancing123 · 03/08/2017 20:46

If it had been me and I was your mum I would have made him sell the bloody land at the time

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 03/08/2017 20:58

If your mum passes away first, he'll get all the marital assetts. If he marries OW, she'll get all. Why won't your mum divorce him now and get half?

Original poster
IdoHaveAName · 03/08/2017 21:02

I think there was a lot of pressure on my mother to not force him to sell the land.
I'm pretty sure 'I OWN ALL THIS' hasn't a clod to stand on though.

OP posts:
Original poster
IdoHaveAName · 03/08/2017 21:03

I have no idea why they don't divorce. It's a sin lol?

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