Rights of OW. Not married to my father. My parents not divorced.

[IdoHaveAName]

Last year, my grandmother died leaving her house to my father. He already owns the farm as his father signed it over to him before he died.

I had reason to need to stay at my grandmother's house last year for a few weeks. My father was happy with this.

Anyway, I invited my own mother to visit me and the OW (who has been with my father 20 years) went apeshit.

Anyway, facebook was involved later that day. Consequently OW drove out to the farm/house to tell me with outstretched arms that 'I OWN ALL THIS'.

I told her that she was as thick as shit and my father is still married to my mother. She owns nothing.

My parents are legally separated but not divorced. Am I correct in thinking OW owns nothing but the shit on her boots?

[Millipedewithherfeetup]

I would advise your mother to talk to a solicitor. Get divorced and claim half of everything he owns now !

[SerfTerf]

Okay so cunt doesn't have the same connotation. (I wish they'd make the board name bigger on the app. It came up in Active and I didn't notice.)

I know the situation is not great but this could drag on and get nasty is all I meant.

I hope someone comes along who knows Irish law.

[HorridHenryrule]

Pretty pissed but that is what she wants you have to play a fool to catch a fool. To get so dramatic over your mum visiting you shows her insecurities for her future inheritance.

[AvoidingCallenetics]

I'm with you OP. I think ow owed your mother common human decency and fucking a married man who has a family makes her a total skank.
But your dad is also a total skank for doing this to your family.
OW has no right to any more consideration in life from the OP than she herself gave to the OP in the first place.

My advice is to get your mother some good legal advice about protecting her share of any marital assets.

[NannyOggsKnickers]

I'd probably do something equally rash. I have no time for people who cheat. And, while both parties are equally to blame I feel that it is taking the piss to get the hump when the woman whose husband you stole goes to stay with her daughter at a family property. Desperate much.

[IdoHaveAName]

Serfterf - we're actually non contact since THE EVENT.

Until I came out of ICU where dp had to contact relatives as all my organs were failing and they thought I would die.

We were in brief contact after I came out but noticeably while he would have been on the farm during the day while he was free to call whoever he liked.

NC again as I tried to contact him during an evening (while she would have been there - I suspect she didn't want him contacting me) and he wouldn't answer.

There was about a year between the I OWN ALL THIS moment and me coming out of (or indeed going into) ICU. Dad's passport had expired so he couldn't get over to me.

[StinkPickle]

@itstoolateforthisbollox no not projecting. My parents are happily married with no affairs as am I. I've never dated anyone who has been married. I don't think it's that crazy to think someone who calls a woman a "walking cunt" is a misogynistic sounding person.

[HorridHenryrule]

What you may have to deal with is she may get something but she can't push you aside.

[WindowsSmindows]

The laws in Ireland changed a good few years ago, there was a referendum about it I think. But basically if they live together then she within a few years, has a claim to property. It's an opt out system so unless your dad has actively taken steps to prevent it, then yes she is going to inherit.

[HorridHenryrule]

Take woman away and think of them as a person who has the capabilities to hurt people and to love.

[IdoHaveAName]

She has no claim to anything. In any case, she hasn't ever declared she was living with him as she always claimed lone parents! As I said, she's a cunt.

[itstoolateforthisbollox]

I don't think it's that crazy to think someone who calls a woman a "walking cunt" is a misogynistic sounding person

Then you are clearly not familiar with swearing in Ireland.

. But basically if they live together then she within a few years, has a claim to property. It's an opt out system so unless your dad has actively taken steps to prevent it, then yes she is going to inherit

No, she's not. He will have willed it to his eldest son in his will, no question.
No Mayo man with a farm will let his girlfriend inherit it, I can assure you!

[PigletWasPoohsFriend]

he claims he doesn't need a will as there is no fear of him dying mwahahahaha

Wow

[Finola1step]

At this point in time, she may well.own nothing. As you have kindly pointed out to her. I think you should have a chat to your mum about what her legal position is.

[IdoHaveAName]

itstoolateforthisbollox thank you.

Unless you understand Mayo men, you wouldn't have a clue.

To Cavan, money is God.
To Mayo, land is God.

[IdoHaveAName]

I told my mother and she said 'sheesh, I'll expect the divorce papers - Is she that dopey?'

[HorridHenryrule]

When there's a war there is no such thing as exchanging pleasantries.

[HorridHenryrule]

Is your mum entitled to half of his things?

[itstoolateforthisbollox]

Is your mum entitled to half of his things?

A lot depends on the agreement and the deed of separation.

[IdoHaveAName]

My mother got the marital home plus child maintenance for my sister until she was 18 (she was 12 at the time). Myself and my brother were 18 and 20. This was agreed so that he wouldn't have to sell the farm to split the marital assets. My mother could have stung him to force him to sell the farm but she knew what the farm means in the family.

[AvoidingCallenetics]

She is nicer than me. I'd have made the fucker sell it!

[AppalachianWalzing]

Ok so there's a few different things.

First, the law changed a few years ago so people co-habiting have some rights in separation. Basically, if you've been living together two years with a child or five years without a child an you split (or, I assume, someone dies: it was mostly talked about at the one as a way to protect women who were SAHM but not legally married) you can go before a judge. It's not the same degree of right as marriage, and I think a judge would basically assess various claims, who was financially dependent on who, etc etc. If that did apply, it wouldn't result in her getting the whole farm and house but would probably result in her getting enough to set herself up somewhere if she's been supported all these years, but since it's a relatively new law I've heard v little about the kind of impact it's had.

When your parents separated, was it judicial - ie went to court - or did they agree between themselves with a solicitor? There was a way with judicial separations to basically extinguish the wife's future claims, but that may or may not have been done. If it wasn't, and your mum divorced him now, she'd be claiming on his current assets and whatever they agreed back then could be thrown out.

If the co-habiting law doesn't have an effect, and there was nothing in the separation order to the contrary it's 1/3 to the wife, 2/3 to the children. Disclaimer: not a solicitor, but think that's broadly right. I'd certainly say it's worth looking into, and if you're brother is working the farm with your dad maybe asking him to look into the co-habiting law and it's implications- there are ways to opt out of t but both parties have to agree.

[IdoHaveAName]

The farm was around my mothers house so my father and the yoke used to walk hand in hand around the land around the bottom of the garden. There is actually no apologising for either of their behaviours. Hence NC.

[AvoidingCallenetics]

Maybe your mum could ask a solicitor about a trust bring set up where the farm is protected for her children, thus setting inheritance isdue in advance.
Not wanting to criticise but she has been awfully passive about arrangements all these years. Don't ge thinking your dad was doing her a favour in paying child support - I would imagine he had a legal obligation to. Same with housing your sister, who was still a child. If I was your mum, I'd be applying some pressure now to protect my dc. The worst time to deal with this shit is when your dad dies and you've got the trouble of getting the ow out of his house!

[IdoHaveAName]

My elder brother is a doctor in Canada! He is in no way working the farm.
'She' has never been legally living with my father as she has been too busy claiming lone parents payment for her own two.

Would you believe, her husband and my father were best friends. My father was his supervisor at work and he plastered our house.

The level of betrayal was a bit much really. My mother has moved on but I haven't.