I am a full-time mum to a 4-year-old and a 1-year-old.
I previously ran my own business for several years, mostly from home, and earned well. I was able to contribute significantly to our household — paying for family holidays and other family expenses. However, after Brexit the business became difficult to sustain, so I closed it. I am planning to start working again once our youngest begins nursery.
Currently, we rely on monthly rental income of £1,800. We have direct debits totalling around £1,200 each month (bills, car finance, kids’ classes, insurance, etc.). The largest expense is car finance, but we plan to return one car this winter, which will reduce costs by about £300.
After direct debits, we have around £600 left for the month, and my husband tops it up — not as a fixed amount, but little by little, asking me to keep spending to a minimum.
Our typical spending looks like this:
Groceries: £600–£700
Amazon: £150–£200
Dining out: £150–£200 (mostly my husband’s lunches and coffees; family meals out are about 2–3 times a month)
After these basics, there is very little left at the end of the month. If my husband doesn’t think something is necessary, then he simply don’t budget for it.
I don’t buy my clothes or basics from our joint funds at all — even children’s basics like clothes and shoes, I pay for from my previous personal savings. I also avoid ordering food delivery because my husband considers it wasteful, so if I really need a break or want something special, I use my own savings.
Despite this, my husband often tells me I need to reduce spending, only looking at the total figure.
While he is securing a pension and future for himself and the children, I also worry that if I don’t work soon, I won’t have any financial security of my own. He doesn’t push me to work, but he also doesn’t support sending our youngest to nursery yet, which would give me time to work or rebuild my career.
I do not know if I am spending a lot as he says.
It would be great if any advice is given.