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Original poster

How much rent do you charge your adult children?

250 replies

Redandpinkstripes · 27/07/2023 09:43

My daughter is 26 and earns more than me. She pays £200 a month. She has 2 showers a day. Dinner cooked and washing and ironing done. I feel bad but with everything going up I am considering asking her to pay £100 a month more as we are struggling financially.
I just feel guilty that I can't provide for her.
How much is fair to ask her to pay?
Thank you x

OP posts:
KeepSmiling89 · 27/07/2023 09:47

Doesn't sound unreasonable to me. You could ask her to contribute to food costs as well...or would you be including this in the extra £100 a month?

Why is she taking 2 showers a day?

Twiglets1 · 27/07/2023 09:50

Redandpinkstripes · 27/07/2023 09:43

My daughter is 26 and earns more than me. She pays £200 a month. She has 2 showers a day. Dinner cooked and washing and ironing done. I feel bad but with everything going up I am considering asking her to pay £100 a month more as we are struggling financially.
I just feel guilty that I can't provide for her.
How much is fair to ask her to pay?
Thank you x

It depends how much she earns. My son earns 28k and we charge him £400 a month, he is 25.

He still has a good amount left over each month and we pay for all his food etc. plus his alcohol. We always have beers/wine etc in the fridge and he helps himself freely!

LadyDanburysHat · 27/07/2023 09:58

My eldest is about to turn 20. He pays less than your DD and I think he should pay more. But he also doesn't have a maid service like your DD. He does his own laundry, and he only eats a few meals a week with us as he works late, so often buys his own food.

Your DD is a full adult, it would cost her a lot more to live elsewhere. She should be paying more and she should be responsible for her own laundry and cleaning.

otherwayup · 27/07/2023 09:59

My dd pays £200 a month. We worked out what she costs us 'extra' to live here.
So stuff like the mortgage, insurance, water rates etc remain the same whoever lives here, the food & gas/electric bill fluctuates!

She has quite expensive taste in food but is generally quite good at not wasting electricity etc
We feel like £200 more than covers her expenses and it's good practice for her for the future world of bill paying!

GoneWithTheWin · 27/07/2023 10:05

Why do you do her laundry and ironing?

FatCatatPaddingtonStation · 27/07/2023 10:10

Blimey! Given that she earns more than you, and you are struggling, I would charge her more rent.
The mantra when I was young was that they paid a third in rent, a third to spend and a third to save. Given that rent covers food/ bills etc I think that’s a pretty good deal.
I would also get her to take over some of the cooking and do her own washing and ironing otherwise she’ll never want to move out!
I know it’s much harder for this generation and I fully expect mine to live at home in their twenties, but you don’t want to be running around after a 40 year old who is wealthier than you!

Spacecowboys · 27/07/2023 10:15

Personally I wouldn’t because at 26 I’d be advising my dc to save as much as possible to get on the property ladder. Plus they will move out eventually. Is the two showers a day and the fact they are still living there costing you at least £300 a month more then if they weren’t? Because if the answer is not really, how will you budget without that £300 when they’ve moved out.

FrenchandSaunders · 27/07/2023 10:17

DD is 22 and pays £160 a month. She often stays with BF/friends overnight and her job involves a lot of travel. She mostly does her own washing, I sometimes put some on for her. Occasionally eats with us, but otherwise buys her own and cooks her own.

FrenchandSaunders · 27/07/2023 10:17

She also showers at least twice a day when she's here.

Loz2323 · 27/07/2023 10:38

Redandpinkstripes · 27/07/2023 09:43

My daughter is 26 and earns more than me. She pays £200 a month. She has 2 showers a day. Dinner cooked and washing and ironing done. I feel bad but with everything going up I am considering asking her to pay £100 a month more as we are struggling financially.
I just feel guilty that I can't provide for her.
How much is fair to ask her to pay?
Thank you x

I have to ask, why on earth are you doing a 26yr olds washing and ironing!? I don't do my kids and one is 16yr and the other 22. Plus yes she should be paying more rent, that amount barely covers cost of water let alone food, electric, gas etc. .

AmIbeingTreasonable · 27/07/2023 10:41

She's 26, it's not your job to provide for her anymore, she needs to pay her way.

Talapia · 27/07/2023 10:41

We ask for a sixth of their take home pay and that they save at least another sixth.

It's fine to ask her for more if you are struggling.

BoohooWoohoo · 27/07/2023 10:42

I think that you should stop the laundry. Madness that a 26 year old is having it done as if she's 6.

mycatsanutter · 27/07/2023 10:45

My son paid that 2 years ago and looking back I should have asked for more .

Magenta65 · 27/07/2023 10:46

I paid £200 5 years ago as a student and working part time. Stayed the same when I graduated as was paid low but I did increase my contribution as my wage went up. I would put it up to £300 explain your struggling with bills etc. if it’s proportionate to what she uses at home then it’s tough and needs to be paid. At 26 she should be in a position to help you out more. If she doesn’t like it then it’s down to 1 shower a day, maid service ends. Although I paid rent I never ever made my mother do my ironing etc.

ThoseDays · 27/07/2023 10:53

We don’t charge anything but if we were struggling, we’d have to. You need to work out how much she is adding to bills and how much you need.

Why are you doing her washing and ironing? I do sometimes do it for my adult child but he also sometimes does ours too. He also cooks a few times a week, gives lifts to younger siblings, walks the dogs, puts the bins out etc.

Floralnomad · 27/07/2023 10:53

Well if you need the money then you need the money . Sit down and work out what extra she actually costs .

ZairWazAnOldLady · 27/07/2023 10:57

We’ll surely you add up all your bills and food costs and divide by however many people are in the house, then take a bit off if their salary won’t cover it?

ZairWazAnOldLady · 27/07/2023 10:58

I would charge her at least £100pw and she should do her own laundry and share the cleaning.

SpaceRaiders · 27/07/2023 10:59

If you’d struggle without the £300 dc contributes perhaps it’s better to figure out how you’ll manage when she finally moves out?

As long as they were being responsible, respectful and contributing to the household in other ways, I don’t think I could bring myself to charge dc for living at home but that’s just me.

caringcarer · 27/07/2023 11:02

If you are on a water meter and she's having 2 showers a day then that adds up. £300 is not unreasonable. What is unreasonable is that you are treating her like a baby at 26, doing all her laundry and ironing. She needs to learn how to care for herself. My 2 DS's did their own laundry from 17 or 18. Whilst working long full time hours they also cooked a meal for the whole family at least once a week each. They also did a few other chores like emptying the kitchen bin, recycling for family, emptying the dishwasher and sometimes loading it, vacuuming up their flight of stairs and bedrooms and cleaning the bathroom they shared. They took it in turns so only once a fortnight each. Also changed their own sheets/duvets every week and washed and dried those too. Your DD sounds lazy and you are encouraging it.

Catspyjamas17 · 27/07/2023 11:04

My mum lives with us and gives us £350 a month towards food and bills.

Hungryfrogs23 · 27/07/2023 11:05

SpaceRaiders · 27/07/2023 10:59

If you’d struggle without the £300 dc contributes perhaps it’s better to figure out how you’ll manage when she finally moves out?

As long as they were being responsible, respectful and contributing to the household in other ways, I don’t think I could bring myself to charge dc for living at home but that’s just me.

This.
I couldn't imagine charging my child to live in their home.
But if you really need it then I agree with the PP, work out what she costs you by being there eg water, electricity, food and base it on that.

Catspyjamas17 · 27/07/2023 11:05

BoohooWoohoo · 27/07/2023 10:42

I think that you should stop the laundry. Madness that a 26 year old is having it done as if she's 6.

There would still be an electricity cost in doing it and drying separately if a dryer is used- probably more.

Notwiththebullshizz · 27/07/2023 11:09

That's not alot at all. When I still lived at home (left when I was 20) my mum divided the amount of people in the house and I paid my exact portion as I was working full time and an adult. There were 4 of us in the house (one my younger brother who was still in education) so I paid a quarter of the house hold out goings. We split all the chores too depending on the shifts worked. So If i was home early I'd start the cooking etc and vice versa same with washing clothes, cleaning etc. I didnt feel annoyed or anything and it really put me in a good position to transition from living at home to living alone.