How much rent do you charge your adult children?

[Redandpinkstripes]

My daughter is 26 and earns more than me. She pays £200 a month. She has 2 showers a day. Dinner cooked and washing and ironing done. I feel bad but with everything going up I am considering asking her to pay £100 a month more as we are struggling financially.
I just feel guilty that I can't provide for her.
How much is fair to ask her to pay?
Thank you x

You can earn up to £7500 p.a. tax free by renting just the room out. No maid and chef service included. Though whether someone will pay £625 per month will depend on where in the UK you are - in London that's very cheap.

Point being, if you can't afford £200 a month from your daughter you need to charge more to cover your costs. If she wasn't there you could potentially receive a lot more for the room.

My two living at home are 22 and 20. We don’t charge them anything at present. Both study full time and work part time.

Agree. I wash my 13yr olds stuff but my older kids do their own.

My son is 19, in an apprentiship. He pays €250 per month which is 15% of his take home pay. I plan to increase it to €400 in the new year.
He also does his own laundry.

For you daughter I would ask her to contribute at least 25% of her take home pay. She'll never leave if it's so cheap.

My daughter is 19 and until this month I was the only person in the house earning a full time wage (partner has been out of work for 14 years!) and was therefore really struggling with the cost of living. She was paying £100 to me per month out of her £260 universal credit, then increased that to £150 when she started a part time job. She is now working full time and about to get her first pay which is only a few hundred less than mine per month so I worked out all the costs of the household that were relevant to her in a spreadsheet and discussed it with her so she knew the whole picture financially. Her share of rent/food/bills worked out at around £480 per month so I was going to charge her £300 but she decided it wasn't fair on me as she would be able to enjoy life a lot more than me! She wanted to pay the full amount but I told her I'd only accept £400. She will still have around £600 more disposable income than I do every month which she plans on saving towards a deposit for a house. It feels wrong to charge her this much but it is better than building resentment that she can afford holidays and nights out when I am stuck at home counting every penny. If she does decide to move out at any point, at least she will be used to paying her way!

You feel guilty that you can’t provide for your 26 year old adult daughter who earns more than you?! AND you act as her housekeeper cooking, washing and ironing her clothes?! Why can’t she do her own washing? How will she ever learn to be independent?

£200 sounds very low so I think it’s fine to ask her to contribute more - even if you ask her to pay £300 it’s still less than half of what she’d pay to live in a house share in most big cities in the UK, so financially she’s getting a really good deal.

But you really need to stop mothering her and encourage her to start behaving like an adult and looking after herself. Assuming you’re all working full-time, cooking and household chores should be shared equally and I’m sure she is more than capable of doing her own washing. You do her no favours by running round after her!

I'm the adult who lived with parents until earlier this year.

I did £400 a month, which was essentially just covering costs. It covered 1/3 of all bills + £100 food because they did 95% of shopping. They viewed it as an 'at cost' arrangement, were happy doing that if I was making active steps for seriously saving for FTB. They were not in need of income and wouldn't otherwise have rented out my room.

My take home pay was £1600, I put £800-£1000 each month into savings, £400 to my parents, and the remaining £2-400 a month was for myself- of which about half went on the car, the rest other bits and bobs.

You could say they were 'making' on me to a v small extent as fixed charges like council tax, broadband, Netflix, tv licence, etc etc, were not dependent on the number of consumers. But I got to stay in a much nicer house than I could otherwise afford for less than half the cost of my one-bed rental from 4 years ago.

It worked out very happily for everyone. Especially now for my parents now i've finally left!

The implied judgement from the posters who "couldn't bring myself to charge my child for living in their own home" is quite sickening.

Sanctimonious gits

Aww that sounds like a great relationship you have - I agree total transparency is the way forward. I think you've got a great arrangement and the openness you have now will allow you to make changes if/when bills change going forward. Well done to your daughter on her new job too :)

About 15 years ago, I moved back in with my parents after finishing uni. I was working full time.

my parents charged me £600 rent per month, but that included all bills and food. An average flat would have cost around the same in the area plus bills on top.

They didn’t tell me at the time but they saved all the rent I had paid, plus the interest and gave it back to me to put towards a deposit on a house. It was very generous as the increased cost of me living there was met by them, plus it got me into the habit of not spending my entire wage on stuff that I didn’t really need.

had they not done this, or if I’d moved into a rented flat I don’t think I would ever have afforded to buy a house.

Paying you £200 per month is not really “good practice for her for the future world of bill paying!”

A basic house share, and the extra bills for food (especially as she has expensive taste), utilities, insurance etc. on top of that, would come to more than £200 per week. If you want her to get experience of how much it really costs to live, she would need to be paying you about £800 a month.

I’m not saying you charge her all this, but up her dig money to at least £500-£600 a month. You could then put the extra away for when she decides to get her own place to live. Putting £400 a month in the bank, would soon build into a nice little nest egg.

I don't like to think of it as 'rent,' but more as a contribution towards the bills and food costs.

My son and daughter give me £250 each. They still have about £1500 to £2000 per month to save for their own future, and as far as I know, both are aiming at doing that.

1. presumably DD has her own room. I’d feel weird going into her own space to look for laundry
2. no way would I want my mum going through my dirty laundry, sorting out darks from whites etc Inc. my dirty underwear
3. at 26y old this is an independent task she should be managing herself
4. I am not a skivvy. Always happy to lend a hand, but would want that reciprocated. Does OPs DD offer to do OPs ironing ever?

I agree it's not rent, it's a contribution to food costs, bills (elec, internet, gas) and council tax, also insurance. I think it's fine to ask for a contribution to those, you are a whole household and unless you are wealthy, the cost of living is hitting everyone. I don't charge my children til after uni though. Up til then I'm happy to cover costs, and for them to work p/t for clothes/extra/travelling money. After uni, everyone has to contribute.

Depends how much she earns. I'd say 20% is reasonable and I wouldn't do laundry.

Or maybe charge an extra £100 a month to do it

None - DD is saving for a deposit so her money goes on that. I think we will be taking a contribution to utilities soon though as we’re now off our fixed tariff. We don’t pay anything of hers - her bills are her own.

Sit down, all the adults, and work out the costs of running your home, and divide it between you. You may decide she should pay less, or she may decide to leave, but a least she will understand why you need to raise her rent.

Mines 20, earns more than me, I ask him to contribute £150 a month, I'd love to not ask for any money off him at all in fact I'm gutted I have to. However he seems happy with that amount and wants to contribute. He sorts his own meals mainly and does his own washing etc.

20 years ago I paid my parents £200 a month, I offered that amount because I wanted to support the household and make it easier for all of them. I'm the oldest and there was plenty of expenses still for them at that point. Of course adult children living at home earning a good wage should contribute properly to the household income. If you go from a house hold of 2 adults earning to one with 3 adults earning, the original earning adults should feel an easing up of cost pressure and/or extra money for savings or luxuries.

DD is 25. She's a teacher. She pays £130pcm and tends to cook her own dinner Monday to Friday. The £100 arose because I helped her buy a new laptop when she graduated and said she could repay me £100pcm. When it was paid up, she refused to cancel it because only fair she made a contribution. As a matter of principle she pays me £40pcm because the cleaner does her ironing.

I still pay for her phone but that will stop in September. She wouldn't object to paying more, she's a generous soul, but there's no need.

When DS moved out, I was surprised at how much the food bill reduced.

I'll charge my son a little IF I need it when he's older and earning. I won't do his laundry past teenage years he needs to learn to clean up after himself for his future wife's sake I don't want him to be a lazy loser. If I don't need the cash from him I'll insist he puts 1/3 of his wages into a savings account while at home with me or take it and save on his behalf until he needs it for something sensible like a business plan or a post grad course or a flat deposit

Mine is about to start paying 200 pcm. He is 22 and works as a TA.

He needs to learn how to use a fairly meagre salary to put some aside, spend some, etc.

He cooks for him and younger DS once a week but I do all the food shopping apart from his snacks and random purchases (easier) and the laundry as it's easier to throw everyone's stuff in together.

The price does kind of reflect that he isn't overly helpful or giving!

https://england.shelter.org.uk/housing_advice/benefits/housing_benefit_deductions_when_living_with_non_dependants

this is how much the government expects non dependants to be paying in rent to the household weekly,

Less than £162 rent £18.10 weekly
Between £162 and £235.99 rent £41.60 weekly
Between £236 and £307.99 rent £57.10 weekly
Between £308 and £409.99 rent £93.40 weekly
Between £410 and £510.99 rent £106.35 weekly
£511 or more rent £116.75 weekly

I paid £300 a month when I was 17/18 so I think £300 at 26 is more than reasonable 🤷🏻‍♀️ and agree with PPs, stop doing her washing!