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Original poster

How much rent do you charge your adult children?

250 replies

Redandpinkstripes · 27/07/2023 09:43

My daughter is 26 and earns more than me. She pays £200 a month. She has 2 showers a day. Dinner cooked and washing and ironing done. I feel bad but with everything going up I am considering asking her to pay £100 a month more as we are struggling financially.
I just feel guilty that I can't provide for her.
How much is fair to ask her to pay?
Thank you x

OP posts:
FriendofDorothy · 27/07/2023 12:12

My Dad was adamant that rent and board should be a third of salary after tax.

Hungryfrogs23 · 27/07/2023 12:55

It's very much each to their own, but they are still "my child" even as an adult and I always want their home to be somewhere they can be with no strings attached. It's home 🤷 As long as they were contributing eg household chores and being otherwise respectful, then I wouldn't have an issue with it. I would just feel very wrong charging them to live in their own home, irrespective of age. There are other ways to teach them responsibility and money management than charging them rent in my opinion.

mondaytosunday · 27/07/2023 13:09

Sounds fine to me. But stop doing all the washing and ironing! My kids have done their own since they were 16! And get her to cook a few times too (and I hope she does some household chores too).

ZairWazAnOldLady · 27/07/2023 13:17

I was married and independent at 26, my father had a wife and three children to support….why are you treating her like this? Let her grow up.

Rachykins · 27/07/2023 13:21

I’m not an awful lot older than your daughter really and I’m not surprised she hasn’t decided to try move out and be a proper functioning adult especially if she earns a decent wage, only pays £200 rent and gets everything done by mummy.

I appreciate young people that are at uni or just left etc not having as much disposable income but it sounds like your daughter is just freeloading. I wish as a 26 year old ADULT I only had to worry about £200 a month. I think your daughter is going to have a big shock when she goes into the big wide world!

rosewatergin · 27/07/2023 13:30

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ladyvivienne · 27/07/2023 13:34

I hope said 26yr old is saving at least £1000 a month then towards a deposit so she can move out?

I personally suggest you charge her £1500 a month, take your rent cut out of it and then f hand her back a deposit once it's been saved. That way, she's not freeloading and actually gets a sense of how expensive it is to live.

Always amuses me that these grown ups can't afford to give their parents more rent but can afford clothes/nails/holidays/nights out etc etc .

EmpressSoleil · 27/07/2023 13:35

Everyone always assumes all these DC are saving for house deposits. Some aren't! My adult DS will likely never move out (SN). He works and of course he pays rent! Why should he have more disposable income than me, while leaving me paying for everything? Luckily we're on the same page in that regard so have had no issues. He has friends who also live at home long term as adults for varying reasons, such as cultural, financial (we live in London) etc. I also don't do any of his washing and cooking! No way. The odd meal yes but we live more as housemates now.

OP there's nothing wrong with you asking her to increase her contribution. I also wouldn't be doing everything for her, but that's up to you.

AsterixAndPersimmon · 27/07/2023 13:36

Dc at Uni was telling me they are spending about £50 a week on food alone.
Now he is eating A LOT (lots and lots of exercise/training) but at that rate the £200 per month would only cover the extra food you are buying….

HideTheCroissants · 27/07/2023 13:38

Our daughter is 25 and hasn’t lived at home since she left for university. She pays her own rent and bills etc. She moved several hundred miles away so her rent is half what it would be local to us.

She was horrified when she found out I’d been charged one third of my GROSS pay to live with my parents but it was one of the reasons I left home at 18!

DS is an adult but mentally a child and gets benefits. I “charge” quite a big chunk of those because he has nothing to spend on anyway (doesn’t often leave the house on his own, no social life etc.) but I actually save it all so that he will have a lump sum when he is eventually able to live independently.

I wouldn’t profit from adult children but charging a low amount is not helping them unless they are properly saving the amount they would be paying if they didn’t live with parents.

AsterixAndPersimmon · 27/07/2023 13:39

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I don’t think they are been horrified by the OP is doing the washing for the whole family together.
What I am horrified about is the fact the dd doesn’t do the washing for the whole family some of the time!

There is no need to separate washing. But there is a need to share the work load. On everything really, that is the washing, the HW/hoovering, cooking meals etc, etc

Augustus40 · 27/07/2023 13:45

My son is 18 works full time c 22k a year and pays me £300 as that covers the cost of his food council tax and electricity bill. I was paying 25 per cent discount on council tax up until now and do need every penny as single income household.

Ds is in his first full time job and saving nearly all the rest! His savings are much better than mine!

As for rent we have no mortgage nor a rent so I think he pays a fair amount. We eat well and I easily spend £55 or £60 for his food bill as I have checked the past 3 weeks out of curiosity and this is the amount it is costing for him. I don't think it is much this day and age. We are still helping them get on their feet if they are saving to move out etc.

PrrrplePineapple · 27/07/2023 14:00

I moved home as an adult to save for a house deposit, and paid £400 a month which I thought was very reasonable.

Some food was included, but I did all my own washing and helped out with house cleaning etc because I lived there.

DaisyThistle · 27/07/2023 14:02

That's a ridiculously low amount given her age, her income and what you provide. Does she save the rest or does she live a good life because she doesn't have to provide necessities? Without paying her fair share, she;ll never learn the cost of living.

You need to sit down with her, adult to adult, and go over the bills, including food, heating, water, mortgage or rent, home maintenance and insurance etc and explain what it actually costs you to keep her. Then point out you earn less than her and with the rising cost of living you need to review what she contributes.

Show her what she literally costs you (ie how much you spend on food, heating, water etc when she is around) and then show her the fixed costs (things that don't change whether she's around or not, such as rent or mortgage, home maintenance and insurance) and what would be a fair contribution towards them. Add these figures up and say that she really must start paying all the actual costs and any contribution towards fixed costs would be very welcome too as she would be paying them at a far higher rate if she lived on her own.

Mayhem3 · 27/07/2023 14:06

All the adults working FT should split the bills evenly between them.

ActDottie · 27/07/2023 14:06

I’ve had stints where I’ve lived back home between houses and my mum always charged £150 a month plus my partner paid £150 too.

IndigoLaFaye · 27/07/2023 14:12

My situation is slightly different as I’m disabled and my impairment means I can’t do my own cooking, cleaning etc. However, when I was earning a relatively low wage I paid £250 “rent” to my parents.

Now I earn a lot more so we worked out which bills are mums alone, which are mine, and which are “household”. I obviously pay mine and half of household. I then pay half of the food shopping (apart from her cigarettes cos nope).

Where mum helps me with care needs and cleaning etc, I help her with emails, banking, technology etc.

I get charging a low amount if they are saving to get a house or are going through financial trouble but otherwise in my view it’s just adult to contribute towards where you are living and do your own chores or agree on what you’ll take responsibility for.

ManchesterLu · 27/07/2023 14:12

Hungryfrogs23 · 27/07/2023 11:05

This.
I couldn't imagine charging my child to live in their home.
But if you really need it then I agree with the PP, work out what she costs you by being there eg water, electricity, food and base it on that.

Show quote history

Why shouldn't you charge your child to live in their home? YOU have to pay to live in YOUR home! That's just called life.

And we wonder why young people can't cope in the big wide world.

Deadringer · 27/07/2023 14:13

I have 3 adult children at home and they pay 400pm each. I don't do their washing, and they clean their own rooms, but I do cook dinner every night. If they want something different they make it themselves and if they fancy a takeaway they pay for it. With the cost of living now there is no way we could pay all the bills without their contribution and anyway why should we? They are adults and should pay their way. Rent is astronomical where we live, so yhey know they are getting a good deal. When they have all saved enough to buy their own homes we plan to downsize, so we are really only keeping the family home to facilitate them.

Anxioys · 27/07/2023 14:18

She is 26 and that is far too little so yes, you should ask her to contribute further. She is an adult and you have that relationship now.

Boredandbitter · 27/07/2023 14:18

We recently added up what DS would need to pay in a three way house share. Before food and spending money, it came to over £800 a month. he wisely chose to stay with us but suggested he would pay more than the £220 a month we charge him.

skyeisthelimit · 27/07/2023 14:22

She is 26 and earns more than you, and you do not need to be providing for her.

She should be paying double that.

It isn't wrong to charge your child to live at home, we all live different lives, and some have no choice, especially when the "child" is earning more than they do.

Heb1996 · 27/07/2023 14:26

That’s a very small amount of rent for the facilities that she’s got and for what’s included. On the private market, it could be double that. She’s got a very cheap deal and she should definitely appreciate it.

BreatheAndFocus · 27/07/2023 14:27

Why do you need to provide for her? She’s an adult. She could have moved out years ago. If it’s easier for you to cook her tea along with yours, that’s fine but what you charge should reflect that and it should cover the water and energy use too. I’d take a proportion of her take-home wage.

Soozikinzii · 27/07/2023 14:28

We charged our son 150 a months for gas electricity rates and food ..seemed reasonable and not to onerous for him .

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